I was just at Target and got cruised by this really attractive guy with full-sleeve tattoos. Tattoos always turn me on and it’s Bike Week here in Austin so there’s all sorts of interesting people in town and I kinda have this bad boy biker thing even tho’ I’ve never actually dated a biker. So now I’m day dreaming about just going up to the guy and asking him if he wants to get a beer or “something” and inviting him back to my place.
But I’ve never actually ever done anything like that. I’ve been a “good” girl (despite being well past girlhood). It seems like most of my male gay friends are pretty good at cruising but I don’t think any of my female friends ever done it (or at least 'fessed up to it). Anyone here ever just picked someone up annonymously? Or been picked up? How did you start the conversation? Was it weird and awkward? I’m especially interested in hearing about pick-ups outside of the bar scene (where alchohol makes everything easier.
Yeah, yeah, I guess rereading my post, it does kinda sound like the start of a Penthouse forum letter.
But, I’m really curious about the whole cruising/one-night stand thing. I’ve never been casual about that stuff at all (and that probably won’t change, I don’t see myself living out any anonymous fantasies, I’m far too repressd for that) but I know it happens. I read about that study where the researchers had people go up to members of the opposite sex and ask them if they wanted to have sex. If I recall correctly, the women had something like an astounding 90% success rate. (the man, on the other hand, had very little luck approaching women) So I was hoping some Dopers could add some personal anecdotes from their wild pasts (or the pasts of friends). And, shoot, if people can ask about BJ and threesomes, I figure this isn’t too off the wall.
I can see a reason for that. The men were probably too afraid of being accused of sexual harassment or getting a slap in the face. The same doesn’t typically happen the other way around.
After 9 months of celibacy (not voluntary), I’m about ready to snatch some leather-clad bad boy off the street, too. I’ve never had anonymous sex, but hey, a woman has needs.
In my wild and crazy days, yes I have:
[ul]
[li]picked up guys I thought were hot for the sole reason of having sex with them[/li][li]only known their first names[/li][li]was greatly amused because I knew that as a female my chances of getting turned down were very low, as opposed to guys who try the same thing.[/li][/ul]
I also, being wild n’ crazy (and young) didn’t properly consider if the guy might be a psycho, or a thief, or worse. I was lucky in hindsight, every guy I ever picked up was normal, quote-unquote.
So if you’re just looking for some good times with a hot stranger, knock yourself out. Could I offer some suggestions?
[ul]
[li]Call a close friend before you get him home and tell them if you don’t call them back within a certain amount of time to come over and check on you, or call the cops.[/li][li]Don’t let him case the house if you bring him back to your place. Even better, go to a motel.[/li][li]I know we’re modern women and yadda yadda. Just be aware that the possibility exists that he might turn out to be a great guy that you want more than a one-night stand with, thus setting you up emotionally for more than what this situation can provide. Of course the same could happen for him as well, setting you up in another uncomfortable position where you have to turn him down for another date or what have you. Caveat emptor.[/li]
But, to get a quick hit of ego boost and sexual satisfaction, you can do worse than pick up a guy on your own terms. Play it safe and have fun!
[/ul]
Love all 'round, girl.
Honestly, the only other caveat I should have thrown in for our tremorviolet is that the experience can be a little emotionally…empty, I should say. But in times of my life when my emotions already had enough to handle - family problems, ex-boyfriend problems, work or stress overload - that was actually an added benefit.
Love all 'round, girl.