I was riding along on the subway today when I noticed a gorgeous woman. If I had more charisma or courage, I would have probably tried to talk to her. This being the NY subway, I would have probably failed, but my brain had determined that she was a worthy candidate to strike up a conversation with based on her looks alone.
Then I started thinking about the odds of this happening to me. That is, me standing on the subway, with my pretty eyelashes, and a girl starting a conversation with me.
Hence this poll. The question is whether you would try to pick someone up in a non-social setting, based on looks alone. Guys are included in the poll so that we can see if there is a big difference.
It has to be in a setting where people aren’t usually looking for dates. That means no places like bars, clubs, or parties.
I can distinctly remember doing this about twice, which means I’m sure I’ve done it at least a few times beyond that. I know that many members of this board view any pickups attempt outside of a bar (and even then the bar must specifically be for pickups and the man or woman must have a sign saying TALK TO ME in bright neon lights), but I find that as long as you aren’t rude or pushy, as in you respond appropriately to any signs of disinterest and back off right away, I don’t see the problem in it at all. I have some fond memories/stories that have resulted in chatting up what I thought to be attractive strangers.
It only happens to me with cougars, and not infrequently. I don’t know what it is, but I won’t complain.
I thought my answer would be “once or twice” but then I realised the poll excluded social situations. There are guys I’ve liked the look of at work, but I’d get to know them before dragging out pick-up lines, just to make sure work wasn’t going to become a social hell. In fact, that would go for any non-alcohol affected meeting.
But at a bar or party, cute guy, a few drinks into the evening? Yeah - once or twice.
I’m not sure of my answer. I’ll start a conversation in these situations, but trying a pick up is based on how the conversation goes. Email addresses are the easiest to get, but also the easiest for the other person to avoid.
You don’t lead with the question, silly. You talk for a bit, and then casually bring up a way to continue talking to each other later. It’s really not that different a social situation, other than having to be more aware of annoying people, as Autolycus notes.
Social situations- a few times.
But then, I’ve been with irishfella from my late teens so really the window when I was single and legal was quite small.
Yeah…that should have been part of the poll “No, because I’ve never tried to pick up a complete stranger” given the poll seems to assume that everyone has.
There are too many assumptions and implications behind the phrase “pick up on someone solely because of looks” that vary so much person to person that I fear this poll can’t be very meaningful.
The word “tried” is also in there. The poll is about walking up to someone you don’t know with the intention of forming a relationship with that person. What happens after you walk up and start talking to that person is irrelevant for the poll.
Sure. Both times the person in question wasn’t interested, but their less desirable buddies were, which got no one anywhere. Ain’t that the way it usually works, though…?
I voted: Girl, once or twice, but it’s probably it’s more than that, now that I think about it.
But I’m not really sure what is meant by “pick up”. I mean, I’ve seen a really good looking guy working at the coffee shop or sitting at a nearby table or whatever, and tried to strike up conversation with him in hopes that sparks would fly and we’d end up exchanging numbers and going out. It didn’t work, but I did have several really nice conversations with interesting people.
So what if you just strike up a conversation because of his/her appearance just for the hell of it? Is that “picking up”? Is any attempt at sociability with someone that one is attracted to by default “picking up”? I don’t think there is a clear, straight forward line between the 'intention of forming a relationship" and simple sociability. (Or at least not with me.) There’s a lot of grey area and blurring.
This is the clarification I am waiting on, too. I really can’t imagine doing what EvilTOJ seemed to think you meant. From the start of the conversation, I am thinking in the back of my mind that I might try to pick them up if we hit it off in the conversation. But in no way am I thinking that I’m out and looking for a date.
I’ve never understood the idea that the only reason to talk to beautiful people is if you want to go to bed with them. Just talking can be fun in and of itself. And, unlike what people seem to assume, there does not seem to be a direct correlation with physical attractiveness and bitchiness. At least, not at the normal level of beauty.
You excluded most of the places were I would’ve attempted… well, something.
In other situations, usually I have an idea that the guy is at least interested in me before throwing myself out there.
For example, my current SO, I met when I went to the lab he works to meet some of my friends (I was visiting). Found him good looking and interesting enough, and later that day was told by one of my friends that he found me attractive and was asking if I was single.
So, when he came back, I mentioned that I needed a local man to guide me through a touristy place, and oh, wouldn’t he be able to do that?
Ok, I see what you’re saying. I never considered that possibility because I normally don’t have a desire to talk to someone out of sheer sociability.
I’d say that simple sociability doesn’t count. There has to be some physical attraction and maybe a hint of optimism that your sociability will go in a romantic direction. That’s really the best I can do to clarify that issue.
I’m one of the people who thinks it’s a bit rude to randomly hit on strangers while they’re going about their business. At a party, bar, or concert, sure because those are social leisure situations. But I hear girls complain all the time about annoying guys trying to hit on them on the bus or in the checkout line.
I’ve never once heard a girl say, “A guy tried to hit on me on the subway and he was so handsome and charming I gave him my phone number and I can’t wait to see him.”
It’s always, “A guy tried to hit on me on the subway and it was so annoying and creepy.”
The way I see it, I’ve managed to get laid plenty so far without being annoying and intrusive to random people, why change that?
