I’m a 48 year old male who has lived on a disability pension for depression for over 8 years (been disabled for almost 12). I want to join a social club (mostly for singles but not exclusively) that meets for euchre once a month at a local pub. How do I answer the inevitable, and perfectly reasonable, question “What do you do for a living?” Saying I’m retired isn’t quite the whole story and feels like lying by omission. But saying I’m on a disability pension for depression while smiling and in a rare good mood usually elicits the response “you don’t look depressed to me”. Without giving a snarky answer like “Thanks for your opinion, Doctor” or the entirely truthful “I can smile on the outside while I’m dying on the inside” how do I handle this situation? I avoid engaging people in conversation right now (beyond general “nice weather” comments) but if I’m to get out there this question will come up and I’m at a loss as to how to handle it.
Right now I’m leaning toward “I used to build and repair computers but I’m retired now.” But that might leave them with the impression I actually have money, retiring so young and all. I’m over-thinking this, aren’t I? Thanks for your thoughts.
If you’re just there to play Euchre, you can say whatever you want. “Insurance,” for instance, would probably stop me from asking more questions for fear that you’d try to sell me some.
If you’re there to make friends, tell the truth. “I have something my doctor calls [whatever they call clinical depression now.] Don’t worry, I’m not as crazy as that sounds.”
If you’re networking: “I repair computers. Could use some work, actually.”
I’d like to make friends but I have no great expectations, I’m hardly a catch. Just getting out and being “normal” would be reward enough. I think I’m done with computers (too frustratin’ for a person with my condition, lol).
Wait a minute now. You get disability for depression? I had no idea one could get disability for depression. Maybe you should tell people. Some might appreciate the insight!
Yes, you can, but it takes a loooooong time, and you have to have massive documentation of all the regular treatments, up to and possibly including electroshock therapy not working. gks1 mentioned a four year span between becoming disabled by depression and getting disability insurance payments for it. That’s a damn long time. gks1, people ask what we do as a basis for small talk and to get an idea of each other’s abilities, interests, and personalities. You don’t have to talk about your job or lack of. Talk about your hobbies, your avocations, your interests, your charitable works, or your favorite thing to do late at night. Or, make some completely unbelievable stuff up, and tell it with a wink and a nudge. If someone pries, just explain that you’re not working due to a chronic illness.
Thank you phouka (and everyone else) for the excellent input. I feel much more comfortable in handling the situation now. It’ll be awkward at first but I’ll manage. Or I won’t, but it’s worth a try!
Thanks for your thoughts.