I have a week to figure out what to do with my life.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

As posted about in Pit thread: Workplace griping, anyone?, I’ve expressed that I’m having difficulty handling my job… mentally. I have a week before I decide whether or not I want to either ask for a one or two days to work, (which the company I work for may not do) and signing up for Social Security disability, or quit and sign up for Social Security disability. OR I could just try to ‘stick it out’.

Judging from how nervous I am typing this, while I know I have to show up there in a few hours, I don’t think I can handle it. I’m really not sure I can take the worry that comes from each day, (and the day before), I have to work. I think about it non-stop. My anxiety along with my learning problems, make finding another job that wont produce the same results unlikely.

I would write more but I have to prepare myself to go. I’m seriously scared. I want to make the right choice.

Edit: Since that pit post they cutt my hours, and back on food stamps

2

What is the likelihood you will qualify for disability?

3

All my doctors are ‘on board’. I might get turned down at first, but if worse came to worse, we may get a lawyer involved.

I don’t like getting money for nothing. I don’t like that it’s come to this.

4

I think you should take it as a foregone conclusion that you cannot work anymore. I would not just walk in and quit, though, or just stop showing up. Take in a note from as many doctors as will write one for you, stating that in their professional opinions you are now totally disabled and cannot work anymore. Your managers won’t blame you for it, how could they? If they do, they are jerks who don’t deserve to be taken seriously. And it shouldn’t be recorded as a voluntary quit, it should be a medical discharge (or whatever they call it). VQ would disqualify you for certain post-job benefits that you would hopefully be able to take advantage of since you had a medical reason that the job was no longer suitable.

Do you have a backup plan, family or kids or someone who can take you in for a while, or any money put aside? I don’t know much about the disability application process, except that everyone gets denied the first time they apply. If you DON’T have any backup resources, talk to your doctors and tell them you would like them to write you a note to your employer certifying that you are too disabled to work any longer, but you don’t have anywhere to go. I hope they would help put you in touch with someone to make those kinds of arrangements (maybe a social worker? I don’t know).

You don’t want to just quit though, because that might disqualify you from collecting unemployment and food stamps.

And just some advice on the side: If you can’t function in a job, then what else are you to do for money? Everyone’s got to live. I’m a taxpayer, but I don’t resent paying for disabled people to “do nothing.” What else are we supposed to do, let them starve? Be homeless? Die? Hell no.

Also, and this is from a more practical standpoint, someday many young taxpayers will be in the same shoes you’re in now (that is, approaching total disability, for **whatever **reason). I sincerely hope that there’s still a program in place to deal with total disability when my generation gets there.

I mean, if I had multiple doctors certifying that I was too disabled to work, I’d take the hint and do whatever it took to stop working. Which includes applying for disability. And I can’t think of a less mentally stressful job than washing dishes, so what else could you even do?

I seriously hope you bring these concerns up with a therapist. In life, we have to deal with the cards we’ve been dealt, not the cards we wish we had. Yes, you wish you could work. But your doctors don’t think you should work. So, don’t work–because you CAN’T! If you can’t trust a doctor’s advice, whose can you trust? You just have to try not to feel guilty about it.

5

Thank you rachelellogram.

My parents will help me after I quit, and I would leave on good terms.

today was bad. On the outside I’m quiet at work, but inside I’m just desperately wishing for some sort of way I can get out of there.

6

I hate bumping this thread, but are there any other questions/comments/tips people have? I know none of you know me personally, so it may be hard to give advice. It’s just that this is a big deal.

Any suggestions on how to be productive while I’m out of work?

I was told not to get a lawyer involved until I’ve been rejected, because they take some of the percentage of the back money I will be owed *IF *I get approved.

7

What’s your disability?

8

When I was in first grade I was diagnosed with being dyslexic. Since then I’ve been wondering if it’s something else. All the posts I write on here are spellchecked and re-read, and they are still littered with mistakes.

I plan on getting behavioral and psychological testing soon to see what I have. I have a poor memory, I’m a horrible speller and I’m even worse with numbers. It doesn’t just effect work. For instance; I only drive my car in places I know, no city streets or highways. I don’t cook because I’m a horrible multi-tasker. I don’t know my family’s birth dates, only the months, (as well as other holidays, excluding the Fourth of July). I was in Special Education my whole school career. I don’t have very good coordination. Names impossible to remember names.

9

If it makes you feel any better, many of us are desperately wishing for a “way to get out of there” too, although my own reasons are probably a lot less pressing than yours, MyFootsZZZ.

Your posts, at least in this thread, are much more well-written than some I see here on th SDMB. I think you’re much more talented and skilled than you give yourself credit for.

You’re smart having a support system in place and a plan to leave on the best terms possible. If your doctors are saying you’re too disabled to work, then there’s no reason to feel bad about applying for disability. You’ve worked hard and probably beyond what you should’ve. There’s no shame in that whatsoever.

As to keeping busy and filling your spare time, there’s lots of hobbies and free classes out there. Maybe taking up drawing or painting would be a good idea. If you find something you enjoy where you can see tangible results from your efforts, that should help your self-esteem and overall outlook.

I wish you the very best of luck! Please keep your fellow 'Dopers in the loop!

Bri2k

10

I agree with this. IIRC, most doctors are very hesitant to back up a person’s request for disability without a damn good reason. The fact that you have apparently more than one physician agreeing with your claim I think is pretty solid evidence that disability is the most appropriate option.

Also, I obviously have no idea what your job description is, but you make it very clear simply going to work is a living hell. That’s not fair to you on any level. Why put yourself through that? And no, that’s remark is not be taken as ‘use disability as an excuse to not work’. What I mean is your physical and emotional health depend on this, and it sounds like continuing on the path you are on will just make your problems worse. Remember, it is your doctor’s opinion – more than one, and based on years of medical study and experience, that the best thing for you is to not work.

I have no clue how the application process for disability is conducted; perhaps your physician can help.

You have a much better idea than any of us how you can fill your spare time, if you do decide to go on disability. Find a hobby, maybe one that allows you to stay at home. Craft projects, scrapbooking, that sort of thing. Maybe volunteer at a school or church if you need to get out once in a while. Subscribe to Netflix’s basic dvd service and have a movie night a couple nights a week. Cheaper than satellite or cable. It sounds like once you don’t have this burden of a job that you hate hanging over you, you’ll be much, much happier.

ETA: Bri2k beat me to the punch with hobby suggestions. Apologies.

11

First, while most applicants are turned down the first time they apply for disability, the percentage swings the other way on appeals. My late husband was accepted on his first try. I had spent a good amount of time making sure every I was dotted and T crossed on the application, which I did myself. And we had three doctors’ opinions. Now, his issues were significant heart problems, which are more objective and life-threatening than it sounds like your issues are, and that probably makes a significant difference.

Do you qualify for SS disability? Check here to make sure: http://www.ssa.gov/dibplan/d&s1.htm

If you haven’t worked long enough or (I think) made enough, you do not qualify, though if you are young enough and the disability can be shown to have started early enough, there are ways to piggyback on a parent’s disability coverage.

Disability does not cover what they consider temporary conditions. I don’t know how much you’ve made this year and have no idea what the financial requirements are so I won’t even try to address them, but disability is, frankly, a crappy income. Don’t go this route if you have options, and if your problems could be manageable through some other route but you feel like disability is easier, well, it might be true but it’s not a lot of fun. It’s hard to stay engaged with the world when you aren’t working, it seems. It’s very easy to retreat into a shell and become depressed and anxious and a mess.

Medicare applies to those with disabilities but it doesn’t kick in immediately, it isn’t free, and the drug coverage (at least as of a couple of years ago) is crappy. So, it’s not just money you may be losing out on, but insurance coverage. There are some programs set up by certain pharmaceuticals to get free/low cost meds, but they are scattershot. Be sure you aren’t making a worse financial choice out of eagerness to find a solution. Also, some doctors won’t take Medicare. These aren’t iron-clad reasons NOT to apply for disability, but don’t be caught unawares that there can be issues, some of them significant, with being on disability. It’s easy to be overwhelmed with work and think that disability is a quick fix. It really isn’t, though it is absolutely necessary and a life-saver for many.

Good luck finding a solution. Please only take advantage of the safety net if you need to. If your need isn’t genuine, you’re hurting others. If your need is genuine, I hope you get all the help you need.

12

Personally, if you think you can handle working one or two days a week, you ought to start by asking for that. Then, if they say “no,” THEN you can leave the job entirely. Doesn’t hurt to ask, if it’s something you want.
I’m going to +1 what everyone else has said: if more than one competent and trained medical professional is of the opinion that you either cannot or should not work, then you’re not “getting money for nothing,” you’re getting assistance from general humanity, who has decided, as Rachel said already, that we don’t just leave people to starve in the streets.

Your plan to get additional testing is good: it’s always better to know than to not know* and then you can address your issues more specifically. But please don’t beat yourself up about little things like not cooking or driving much - hell, plenty of Dopers here don’t do either or both, too. Doesn’t make you less of a worthy human being, you know?

Do you like animals? This is a helluva tangent, but if you do, you might benefit from the company of a pet. A small fishtank with a couple of tetras or a betta isn’t much work and is incredibly and totally soothing when I’m anxious. Just a thought…

Hey, I just re-read your linked thread, and I wanted to say one more thing: even if you can’t bring yourself to do it in real life, you’re always welcome to come here and scream “HELP ME!!” to us through your keyboard. We’re here for you. :wink:

  • After all these years, typing this out STILL immediately makes me think of Donald “Known Unknowns” Rumsfeld…
13

I don’t think the dyslexia is what will be considered a disability. Thomas Edison had dyslexia and he seemed to do right well. You were in good company. But you strike me as being overwhelmed and very anxious. Pay attention to what your doctors say.

The other advise here is good. It is very normal to what to continue to be of use in your community and to keep yourself occupied. Just one step at a time. Many opportunities will present themselves. I became a volunteer wolf docent in a wildlife park after I went on disability for depression. I never would have dreamed of such a thing! But I had a chance to rest up first.

Above all, don’t be hard on yourself and take this one step at a time. You will find a solution and you will not be stuck in this seemingly monstrous situation forever.

Have you found that your personality has changed in the last few months? Has your routine changed? How about your sleep patterns and your weight? Do you spend more time with your friends or less time? Has your concentration changed or is it about the same?

(By the way, I am not a doctor or psychologist.)

14

You’re going to permanently drop out of the workforce and live off the government teat because of dyslexia? Are you serious?

If it’s that bad, there are plenty of jobs you can get that don’t require you to read or write. Gravedigger, fruit picker, sign twirler (you don’t have to read the sign, just have to twirl it), bellydancer, janitor, circus clown… holy shit, take your pick.

That has to be the weakest excuse for not working I’ve ever heard. There are tons of people in this world facing far, far greater challenges than you and they still manage to work for a living.

15

It’s way more than that… and as I described earlier, I don’t think I’m Dyslexic.

16

Hi, I followed the thread in the pit, so what do you think it is? I only wish the best for you whatever that may be. May I ask your age?:slight_smile:

17

Hi. I’m not sure… in my early 20’s I was going to get tested, and the person that was testing me was quite sure I had something else. I don’t know what it was she said she thought I had. Sadly, I didn’t go through with getting tested. At the time it didn’t seem important.

When asked, I hesitate telling people I’m dyslexic… especially at work. They assume I’m capable of things that I’m not.

I’m 30, been working for 8 years at this company.

Thank you all for your comments and advice. So far it’s been really helpful.

edit: Rigamarole, I feel bad you don’t approve. from what I’ve read I enjoy your posts.

18

Sorry, but I’m just sensitive to excuses that sound whiney. If you’ve held down a job for 8 years I’m sure there’s plenty of things that you are capable of doing, even if it’s time to move on from your current position. We all have our challenges to face, but throwing your hands in the air and giving up completely and then requesting that others take care of you is the coward’s way out.

ETA: Also obviously I don’t know you so maybe I’m judging too harshly, but based on what you’ve posted in this thread alone I really think you are perfectly capable of doing some kind of work even if you’re too fed up with your current job to continue.

19

Did you just stop reading when you saw the word dyslexia? In my admittedly worthless experience, multiple doctors don’t agree that someone should be on disability unless that person should be on disability.

You’re being very rude to a person in desperate need of advice, which isn’t necessarily against the rules, but reflects quite poorly on you. Shame on you.

20

Don’t be sorry. I asked for advice and that’s yours. I wish I could show people what’s going on inside. :frowning: