About four years ago, when I was a freshman in college, I went out with this guy twice. After the second date, we agreed that it wasn’t there for us, and I never saw him again so I knew him for maybe two weeks. I go home this weekend to visit my parents, and to my total surprise I find an invitation to his wedding! Now he told me he was bisexual, so the fact that he married a woman doesn’t really surprise me (well it does actually but that’s another story), but why is he inviting me? There was even a hand-written note in the envelope saying that he hopes that I can make it and that he can’t wait for me to meet “Kara.” Is it just me, or is this a little bizarre?
Very bizarre, indeed. I always suspect such invitations are solicitations for dinero. The worst such thing I rec’d was an announcement well after the ceremony! I trashed it, of course.
Wow, maybe he’s just really desperate to make the sides of the church even out. I’ve seen people on wedding boards fretting about this before, and some of them will apparently grasp at any straw to make sure they have even numbers on his and hers sides.
Yeah, I’d say that was a bit bizarre. At least he made it seem a bit less like a “gift grab” with the note. But, two dates four years ago, and you didn’t really keep in touch? Definitely weird.
My husband (well, he was my boyfriend then) got an invitation to a wedding when we were in college from the first girl he ever kissed–a girl he met at a two-week-long summer science camp when he was in junior high school. He had actually kept in touch with her via mail and e-mail over the years, so the invitation wasn’t so completely out of the blue. It was a bit strange, though, I thought. We did go, though–and when we finally talked to the bride at the reception, it was obvious that she had not expected my husband to actually accept the invitation. I have no idea why she invited him, then. Hope she likes that marble rolling pin we gave them.
Jmpride, here’s a thought: Rather than a gift grab maybe it’s his way of really asserting to himself that he’s straight. I mean, I know it sounds weird, but I once dated a girl and then two years later, well after we’d lost touch, she contacted me to let me know unequivocably that she dates men.
What would I care?
And she kept trying to contact me until I returned her message to say that yes, I did get her e-mail. It was rather strange that she had to let me know she was dating men, as if that erased anything that had happened previously. I’m not sure I understand the logic behind it, but for some reason, she really seemed to have a need to completely disavow her previous, short-lived fling with me and that by telling me how “straight” she is it somehow accomplished something.
Maybe it’s along those lines. I think it has something to do with reckoning with one’s history. Or some kind of validation. Not quite sure. shrug
Weird - I just had almost the exact thing happen.
I dated a girl for about four weeks back in college, and hadn’t heard from her in years. A few weeks ago she called my dad to get my address, and he forwarded her to me. A few days later I got an invitation to her wedding.
We do have some mutual friends, a couple of whom also were invited, but I’m not exactly sure why I wound up on the list. There are a couple of theories that friends have put forward, including padding her side of the church. She only has 1 sister and she’s the only person I’d ever met that didn’t have any aunts or uncles. Another idea is that she wants to set me up with one of her friends or perhaps her sister.
I dated a guy very briefly (a few weeks) and then I run into him in a bar 25 years later. He named his daughter after me. Now is THAT bizarre or what?
I can only conclude that sometimes we make impressions on people when we least expect it…
I don’t think I will ever name my duaghter EchoKitty even if it is a rather pretty name.
Quite possible. I remember him saying that he came from a very conservative family and that he could never imagine coming out. I mentioned the invitation to a friend (who also knew him briefly) who said that I should go (“You never this know. This might have serious drama potential!”). :rolleyes: Sometimes friends give the worst advice. I think I’ll just send my regrets, and let it go at that.
No go, and then at the right moment tell his wife that you are one of the ex-girlfriends and ask whether he invited any of his ex-boyfriends as well.
Umm…I think he’s actually one of those ex boyfriends, C@W
<<< -------- is most definitely a dude. 
I’m going through the who-to-invite phase of wedding planning and for me, who’s in or out are whimsical decisions. But there’s a few old out-of-contact friends I invited simply because weddings are time to catch up with old friends. I know I won’t be able to spend much time with them on “The Day”, but I wanted to let them know I’m available for socialization.
Wedding invitations, especially to small weddings, are powerful social messages that should not be taken as a bid for gifts. Some years ago a man with whom I’d had a cordial relationship invited me to his wedding. I didn’t think much of it until I got there and realized there were about 40 people there. I realized how much he valued my friendship, and since then I’ve taken that friendship a lot more seriously.
jmpride62 I actually know of a situation similar to yours. A friend of mine’s lover suddenly decided after 14 years he was straight and started dating a woman. (straight, puh-leez! he heads up the local arts council :D) My friend was even the best man for the wedding (high drama potential there). Anyway, since the wedding, the alleged “straight” head of the local arts council has been begging to be included whenever “the boys” (i.e. us local queer as folks) get together. He has even gone to my friend’s house and asked if they could get naked, lie on the bed and cuddle for “old times sake.” Ya know, just like all “straight” men want to do with their gay friends :rolleyes:
I know your friend is bisexual and thus likes the men and the women, but, I can’t help but wonder if he’s maybe trying to get back into your life so he can have, shall we say, a little something on the side? My cynical mind wants to believe that the bride to be doesn’t know he’s bisexual so he’s angling for a way to be able to satisfy that craving for man flesh.
Freudian slip? 
Huh?