Often I wait for a bus that stops in front of my favorite bookstore. Should I decide to walk into the bookstore and “watch for” the bus from the bookstore window, the bus will come immediately and it will be invisible to me despite my constant vigilance. The next bus will not come for a long time.
If I say something nasty about someone behind his back, that person will immediately show up in a way that makes me wonder if he wasn’t in earshot the whole time.
The act of unlocking the door of my house from the outside always causes a magic chain reaction: I will suddenly have an overwhelming urge to urinate, and the phone will begin to ring. The phone will stop ringing as soon as I am inside and able to answer it. My roommate will always be in the bathroom.
My choosing a line at a store, bank, etc., guarantees that that line will stop moving, making coupons appear in the wallets of those ahead of me, and preventing them from pulling out their check book until their purchase has already been totalled.
If someone gives me directions and says “You can’t miss it,” I do.
I am insanely punctual, which is always futile because everyone else is always at least a few minutes late, and even official functions are delayed to accommodate latecomers. I can guarantee the prompt start of any event be being a minute late.
