I can’t stand getting all these “Matrix 8.0” free trial offer disks in the mail.
Do you have any idea what kind of system you need to run it? And don’t get me started on the power supply problems…
Not to mention that you wake up with your ass all kicked and you have no idea why.
“Hey Joe! Toss me one of those dinner rolls!”
o…o…o…o…o…
(everything shifts to “dinner roll time”.)
Whenever you need a program download to learn how to do something new, the server is so overloaded that you’re put on hold: “Your download is important to us; please continue to hold until an operator is available”. In the meantime, you’ve got a busload of people who are totally pissed at having to wait because you didn’t think to get the download before starting this job. The boss is pissed because you put this on your resume under “programs already loaded”. And that damn spike in the back of your head itches like a sumbitch.
Catching communicable diseases from sharing unsterilized upload jacks
That was Speed
Someone you pissed off at work keeps hacking into your life, throwing up brick walls in front of your car, changing your girlfriend into a pig in the middle of hot sex, turning your spaghetti into worms.
The Gatorade you drink by the quart is spiking your electrolytes, causing your personal voltage output to increase and you’ve now degaussed your parents.
Just a note: the Agent program scene in the first Matrix film is filmed in front of old city hall in Toronto. I’ve been there many times.
I so don’t have the abs to dress skankily and participate in one of those mass celebratory freak-a-thons like they do in Matrix Reloaded.
:dubious:
Your definition of “hassle” evidently differs from mine. (Unless you mean getting shot by Trinity.)
[ul]
[li]Having some punk snatch your cellphone right in the middle of an important call.[/li][li]Hauling your landlady’s garbage out to the curb every day.[/li][li]Everything tastes like chicken.[/li][li]Having to eat every meal with those darned sporks.[/li][/ul]
Finding out that TastyWheat actually tastes like tuna fish.
Being able to load any cool expensive clothes you want and finding your fashion sense sucks, and you’re dressed in a polyester leisure suit.
Getting your ass kicked by Elrond.
Discovering that the “real world” is really just another layer of Matrix. Repeat as necessary, it’s turtles all the way down.
The food tubes keep feeding me dead body of Paul from work, even though I specifically ordered dead body of Mike down the street. What gives?
Whenever the Architect gets costipated, he throws a hurricane at us just out of spite.
Brawling is prohibited.
Every time I try to go out for a nice meal I end in the bathroom having sex with some creepy French guy.
What’s with that 
?
The “open-source the Matrix!” and Linux vs. Smith flamewars on usenet.