Every day hassles in "The Matrix"


Click on the smiley to see the thing that I enjoyed so much.

Dodging Bullets
Having to deal with Agent Smith
Getting Banged by Trinity
Having to keep her from getting Killed
Doing the Superman

Where did that spoon come from?

Hey, where did it go?

What spoon?

I don’t remember any spoon.

Substitute “spoon” for any inanimate object around you right now.

I’d really hate it if I was driving to work one day, minding my own business, and some guy in a suit suddenly jumps on my hood.

I mean, that’s hell on the paint!

Every time you answer the damn phone, you vaporize.

Your city doesn’t even get a name. It’s just “the city”.

You’re wlaking up the street, going one way, then BAM! You freeze and the world spins around you and you lose orientation and end up going the opposite direction.

And what’s with the “Stay off the Freeways”?! Midtown traffic is hell during most of the day!

Don’t you hate it when the clipping fails and you end up falling through the void?

Or that time they were upgrading the RAM, when the frame rate slowed down and the pop-up problems?

not to mention, youre minding your own business, when suddenly your virtual body is taken over by an agent. Not only painful looking, but incredibly inconvineint.

Well, I can’t tell you how pissed I am that every time I go through a door I get bopped on the head by a *#%$!? pop-up ad.

On the positive side, I now have a 71" penis

Dealing with Trinity’s bullshit every time you even look at the Lady in Red.

Cleaning your neural-input ports. :eek:

Those creepy spoon bender kids, when they wash my car from across the street!

I almost typed “wash my cat.” That would be even more strange.

Every time you yell “SHIT!”, rows and rows of steaming piles appear out of nowhere.

The bugs. And I though cockroaches were annoying…

The damn lag whores…every time your connection slows down, someone takes advantage of your frozen state and steals your wallet or spraypaints graffiti on you.

Then let me be the first to yell out 'FUCK ME!" :smiley:

At the end of every fiscal year, the “Architect” starts beta testing cartoon physics.

Just when you think your complexion is all cleared up, you get nervous about a date or something, and your face is all scrolling letters and numbers again.

There’s this dude who bakes orgasm cakes, but believe me… having to listen to his bullshit is NOT worth it.

Whenever you hit the switch to kill the squiddies, the damn microwave craps out and all the digital clocks in the house start flashing 12:00.