Well, if we’re going to do this, we may as well go all-out and set it in the Askewniverse.
Well, shoot. Maybe if it was based on a Jane Austen novel ghost-written by Raymond Feist?
Not enough Cowbell.
I will see just about anything if Chris Walken is in it… He’s the thinking man’s Sam Jackson.
Wow! When’s it coming out?
Maybe the angels could be giant robots?
If Ewen McGregor plays Jesus, that will wrap up both the full frontal nudity and the bondage/torture scene. That will help us with our running time.
What we’re missing here is a couple of hit songs for the soundtrack. We’ll need to contact Andre 3000, Lordi and Shania Twain, just to cover all the bases. And maybe Amy Grant. Gotta get that Christian element in there. That just makes the marketing so much easier.
With all the people I know whose “Top Three” are Stephen King, Andrew Lloyd Webber, and The Simpsons, I think we have another writer, composer, and an animator to get working.
Pardon me, but where are the ninjas and the car chases?
Narration by Anthony Hopkins.
For my part, I’d like to see somebody do a huge-scale epic production that was 100% faithful to the world shattering historical events / universally beloved literary work that it portrays. Because then maybe some of the nitpicky perfectionistic no-life counting-the-errors-frame-by-frame know-it-alls will understand what an excercise in tedium such a thing would be.
And it’s got to have vampires. And cheerleaders. And aliens. And monkeys.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I was on board until Shania Twain irrupted into this discussion like a bad case of acne.
Can we just see her and not hear her? She could just stand around in the background or something. She’d probably look good in a corset.
But no lines, no songs, no sound out of her at all. Deal?
Then we must insist on all fact-checking and continuity to be done by Cecil.
Also must include…
-claymation by Nick Park
-superheroes based on Stan Lee characters
-a spit-take scene performed by Jim Carey
-Jennifer Tilly in full vamp-mode.
Wha…no snakes? 
They’re all still stuck on the plane.
They show up in the third act, sitting in for Roman Cavalry (whose horses are replaced with souped-up muscle cars in this modernization).
So, did you enjoy the film The Man? I don’t know of anyone else who saw it.
Y’know, I was thinking that no single element would be enough to get me to see a movie (though several of the things mentioned in combination would… If Whedon or Straczynski ever did anything with Pixar, I’d be so there), but then I got to this:
Yep, that’d do it.
The main character (Jesus?) does not remember who he is, but finds out that he has superior fighting abilities…and is dead.