It’s official. I’m going to hell.
I stayed late Friday after work and printed this out on the color laser printer so that it covered four pages that I had to trim and tape together. So over twice lifesize, maybe three times.
Took that into the admin assistant’s (Sandy’s) office and removed one of the ceiling tiles next to the wall opposite her desk and taped it to the wall studs above the ceiling. The black background on the pic blended perfectly with the stygian darkness of the utility space. Put the ceiling tile back in place, cleaned up my mess, and awaited the perfect moment.
Timing is everything.
Tuesday afternoon. I’m within earshot when someone asks her to open one of the classrooms. She walks out, I enter and pop the ceiling tile out of the way with a convenient umbrella. Total elapsed time, 15 seconds.
I step across the hall to chat with ‘Joe’ while I await her return. Joe is unaware, as is everyone else, what mayhem brews. This has been completely a solo operation. She returns to her desk and whatever she was working on when she was earlier interrupted. A few minutes later ‘Wayne’ pokes his head into her office to ask about something. She then asks Wayne if he knows anything about the hole in her ceiling. He glances up and says, “No, what’s that critter?”
Sandy looks up and actually looks at the opening. And shrieks.
Joe is startled but quickly recovers and looks at me with that What have you done now look. Wayne staggers into the hall, blood dripping from his ears. Did I mention that Sandy shrieked? Loudly?
Some of the other cave dwellers venture from their domiciles once they are sure that no one is being disembowelled. We all gather in Sandy’s office and comment on how perfectly evil that prank was and how nearly impossible it will be to top.
Everyone had a good laugh and the department now has a new mascot, Sparky.
Sandy: Refuses to have ceiling tile replaced so she can show Sparky off to everyone that visits.
Joe: Returns to his office much amused.
Wayne: Files for workman’s comp for his damaged hearing.
Me: Escapes prosecution this time and begins plotting my next evil scheme.