Evony - Start your journey now my Lord

The BBQ Pit
1

My Lord indeed.

My lord you have a lot of fucking ads. On every. fucking. website. I visit.

My lord your ads do verily feature a mightily skanky, 3rd rate, pornstar wench.

My Lord I’m not sure what kind of game you are supposed to be promoting, but my lord, that ad could be used to sell anything really (well, anything except products strictly for straight women). Used cars? Start your engines now my Lord. Academic textbooks? Start your reading now my Lord. Hookers? Take your pants off now my Lord.

My lord, Evony. Go fuck yourself.

2

I finally got tired of trying to figure out what Evony was a looked them up on Wikipedia. Based on their ad campaign I just assumed they were some sort of soft core porn site.

Odesio

3

Come on, there’s always room for porn.

4

Evony and Ivory…

5

Kind of weird, huh?

6

Before anyone asks - yes, I am objecting to boobies.*
*You will never hear me say those words again, in any context whatsoever :wink:

7

Years later, in court, Isamu would regret that oath as the Blue-footed Boobie acting as the plantiff’s lawyer maligned Isamu’s client and he was powerless to stop it.

8

Plants vs. Zombies has started running ads with a female zombie and the phrases “Save your lover!” and “Play now my Lord!”.

9

OMG I have to see this.
The skank factor of Evony really gets to me, though. I mean, really. This isn’t leisure suit Larry there… is it?

>.>

10

Don’t they say something like “play discreetly”? Not as in a secret rendezvous for “special services”, but discreetly as in your boss won’t notice the online game on your monitor, somehow. That’s just sad.

11

Shouldn’t that be “Evony and Ibory?”

tive logether in herfect parmony…

12

I’m ALMOST tempted to join the game and just grief everyone. From what I can tell it looks like an unholy fusion of Age of Empires and Travian except you can pay cash to be better than everyone else.

13

True, but looking at the links in the Wikipedia article it turns out that there isn’t any porn. It’s just a Civilization ripoff designed around making you pay real money for everything. Plus :

Porn’s one thing. But goldfarmers ? That’s obnoxious.

14

I will say that I find their advertising less irritating than all the ads showing closeups of yellowed teeth that I’ve also noticed popping up all over.

15

Evony’s decent into tacky advertising is well documented in this blog post, shows their ads in chronological order:

http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/archives/001286.html

16

That last ad… that’s beyond tacky. Tacky is when your ad shows a well-endowed woman with a size-too-small bodice. An extreme close-up of two breasts with an oh-by-the-way suggestion to come play your new game… I don’t know what to call it.

17

Holy shit! You mean that the last ad was not in fact a parody?
… gah.

18

There was a thread on this game a while back complaining that while it’s technically possible to play without paying for anything, you end up so far behind that it’s all but impossible to do anything unless you buy upgrades.

19

WTF is Evony? I’d Google it, but I’m a bit worried the results will be NSFW.

20

The Guardian explains.

Great OP by the way. Though I always go for “Be fucked” (copyright Al Swearengen).