Man that sucked. Being friends for a year, no problem, then suddenly it blows up. From my vantage point, she is totally irrational and psycho, projecting her still l unsettled feelings onto me. Fomr her vantage point…who knows?
Either way it hurts and I am miserable because of it
Time ot scream!!
AAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Care to elaborate a bit? Your OP didn’t really explain what’s happening. If she’s totally irrational and psycho why do you still want to be friends with her? If she still has feelings for you then I would suggest cutting off the friendship. My SO has a totally psycho X. Unfortunately he’s got a child with her so she will always have to be in his life, cutting her out of it isn’t an option. Thus far, I’m the only girl she hasn’t been able to scare off but you know what? Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth all the drama. If you want to have a meaningful relationship with someone else, a crazy X with whom you still have a “friendship” is a sure-fire way to keep that from happening.
Just my two cents.
They can, it’s just not easy. Or from my experience, how things most often work out for folks.
It helps if the next person you date is a guy.
I know that some people are capable of having friendships exist long after a relationship has puttered out but…
…pure anecdotal evidence here, but my best friend has been single since he and his girlfriend broke up. They’re still friends, in fact, they still live together. I’ve gotten a front-row seat of the whole trainwreck, but to this day I still don’t understand the whole thing-
She cheated on him with another ex. They broke up, but she was unemployed so she did a song and dance and he felt so sorry for her situation (despite what she did to him :mad: ) he let her stay at his apartment. Supposedly they’re friends, but I don’t see it, just a misplaced sense of charity.
Bitter? Hell yeah. Of course, maybe that has to do with the fact that I dated her a few years before he did, and found out she had always liked him better all along. Or the fact that my friend went from one horrible relationship that wrecked our friendship, only to trade it for a NEW horrible relationship that, while I’m not willing to abandon my friendship with him, definitely strains our patience in the matter.
I know that a lot of times the man and the woman are interpreting ‘friendship’ as two different things. Unfortunately many of the women my friend and I have known have used the concept of ‘post-relationship friendship’ merely to manipulate a guy once the romance thing gets old and tired. If the guy is desperate enough, he’ll keep treating her like a queen, feeding her ego but at the same time she’s free to go and fool around with whoever she wants without feeling guilty about it anymore. In these situations, I see the guy losing out romance-wise, because if he was the dumpee, it will be a lot harder for him getting over the woman with her still in his life. Right now it is happening to my best friend. 
I have no words for you G.O., only sympathy and a wary eye on my own live-in soon to be ex-wife. Our situation is such that we must cohabitate peacefully for maybe 6 more months so as to prevent destroying the lives of our children any more than the divorce must.
And doing this is a slippery slope for me–I broke up with her long ago but couldn’t stay away. Periodically I’d have to visit her. Just for a visit. To catch up. Which invariably led to some really good sex. But she was toxic, so I joined The Army to get away from her. I allowed myself to keep her at pen’s length, only wrote letters back and forth from Basic…we were married 8 months later.
Know what? She’s STILL TOXIC! and though I occupy the basement, and live my own life from there, I know it’s only a matter of time. Before she gluts herself on her infatuation with her boyfriend. And dumps him. And gets lonely. And at that time…I will be weak. :eek: