PCW said:
Yes. On the other hand, her being in Jenny Craig suggests SO many delicious jokes…
“Hi, I’m Monica Lewinski. I’ve tried diets before, but I always blew it.”
“Hi, I’m Monica Lewinski. Thanks to Jenny Craig, my weight is what’s going down now.”
“Now I can finally fit into my favorite dress again! Ewwww, what’s this all over it?”
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Da Chef
Or how about, “Now I’m more careful about what goes into my mouth!”
Maybe she go on the ol’ protein power diet again.
Got. the word is got.
Ah, Eve. At last we’ve made a connection.
Now I can ask you to look at this screenplay I wrote…not to mention all these great restaurant reviews…and you can drop everything and help me break into freelance writing…grin
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Da Chef
Hey, Chief, nuthin’s easier than being a freelancer: no benefits, no security, no input. Like Mr. Benchley said, freelancers get paid “per story, per month, or perhaps.”
It’s getting a good on-staff job that’s tough!
Erm, that’s Chef not Chief. You don’t do your own proofreading I hope…
disarming grin
I guess I meant “Lots of lucrative side freelance projects to supplement my cushy staff writing job.”
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Da Chef
Well, umm, I thought you were the Chief Chef.
[there, I think he bought it!]
Well, are ya willing to write crap? I mean real, embarrassed-to-have-your-byline-on-it crap? Then approach publishing companies that do books like The Jenny McCarthy Scrapbook, or magazines that do articles like How To Have Bigger Boobs in 30 Seconds, and send 'em similar proposals. You’ll get work, alright, but you’ll have to spend all your paychecks on therapy.
[joking sarcasm]Wh-wh-what? You mean being a freelancer means … gulp giving up your artistic integrity? OHHHHH, how disillusioning! I might as well go write jingles.[/joking sarcasm]
I might be okay with that if I can use a pseudonym.
I also thought about writing sex books – god knows the crap they publish can’t be hard to bang out – erm, I mean that’s what I hear. Anyway, I guess it might make career day at Chef Jr.'s elementary school a little awkward.
“Chef Jr., what does YOUR daddy do?”
“He writes fuck-books. Mrs. Johnson, what’s a fuck-book? He won’t tell me.”
The important thing is, how do I get STARTED selling off my cherished artistic ideals? I don’t know how to line up a buyer. grin
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Da Chef
Well, I don’t know what your clips and resume look like. But the best thing to do is find a company that does what YOU want to do, and send 'em a detailed proposal.
If it’s magazines, send clips and a proposal to the appropriate editor, then follow up with phone calls. For books, the proposal has to be a LOT more detailed, but again, find a similar book and send a query off to the acquisitions editor (get a name, not just to the title).
Then, sit back and wait for the rejections to roll in! Bitter? Not very . . .
Chef and Eve - get a room, would ya? 
Little Danny Quail should accept that the dumbest job in the world ;i.e.–the Vice-Presidency, is the high point of his asinine life.
His 15 min. were up long ago!
He & Kato Kaelin might be able to do a talk show , though. Call it “The Hour Of Shmucks”.
“Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.”----Jung
Sorry everyone…I didn’t mean to hijack the thread.
Eve, if you’re willing to discuss this a little more please email me…I’d sure appreciate a little mentoring from someone who’s made it.
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Da Chef