Hey, I even have 6700 watts of Solar Panels on my roof, but I don’t generally play in the feud games.
This is fun, next list:
By the time someone in Doperland is 40 they have either had 1000 lovers or none at all: I’m over 40 and have only had several.
The official languages of Doperland are Quenya, Whedonese and Simpsonese: I can do OK in Quenya and Sindarin but I am not very good at the other two. I’m not bad at Python though, you forgot to include Python.
The only recognized faith in Doperland is the church of the future God-Emperor of mankind, Barack Obama: Sorry, I remain agnostic.
Instead of a governement elected by the people, Dopers are ruled over by cats. Dogs are viewed as mentally retarded animals with severe social issues: Cats do not rule us, they do use us as servants. Dogs on the other hand serve us.
Everyone in Doperland drinks beers brewed from mana by oriental mystics and served in chalices of truesilver carried by 100 virtuous virgins: Nope, just Bass Ale, I will drink Bud but I won’t bother with most of the other crappy beers.
A few things you should know if you’re planning on moving there:[ul]
[li] Civil Defense is provided by a 1920’s Style “Death-Ray.”[/li]
[li] The local airport offers direct flights to the Marianas Trench. As a result everyone has visited, but they don’t stay long. The TSA lines run very smoothly, however.[/li]
[li] Bacon salt is a staple.[/li]
[li] K-Dope: Featuring all your favorite Duran Duran hit.[/li]
[li] Town square features bronze Og statue.[/li]
[li] Local custom requires you to greet everyone with a friendly “Gotcha Ya!”[/li]
Odds are excellent that Penis will ensue.[/ul]
[li] The local airport offers direct flights to the Marianas Trench. As a result everyone has visited, but they don’t stay long. [/li][/QUOTE]
and because of comments like this there’s a keyboard cleaning service that does brisk business.
Every employer or workmate in Doperville is incompetent, ignorant, annoying, greedy, bigoted, smelly, noisy or just plain dysfunctional. Fortunately, none of them ever post here.
Huh. My life and the way I conduct it puts me pretty much squarely in Doperville (with minor discrepancies, such as my opinion of feline-kind, which vacillates between indifference and repulsion). Although I have to admit to experiencing an odd “Queen Gertrude effect” from most observations of Doperville mythos (that is, along the lines of “The lady doth protest too much, methinks”). I could follow What Exit?'s lead and enumerate the points, but I can’t imagine that engaging in what might end up being self-parody would be all that entertaining for anyone…rather, just tedious.
Indulging in a self-referential fit of pique, however, I mentioned in a recent thread that I do occasionally use the word methinks in casual conversation (and not just when quoting Shakespeare). Raising the question (but clearly not begging it): Does my life imitate the Dope? :smack:
Nobody there owns an SUV. I own a hutchback Yaris and a half (Littlebro loaned me money for my first, he then inherited it when I moved to the US after paying him for half of it, it’s still under both our names; when I came back to Spain I fished around and caught a second Yaris).
but everyone owns a cat. No… :o will you still talk to me?
Nobody votes McCain; everyone votes Obama. Eh, can those of us who voted for Sanz come in to, dunnow, wash the floors or something, señor? I wash floor nice, señor, so long as it no carpet, yes?
Everyone tips like a one-legged log-roller. Except in the part called ForeignDoperLand, where waiters get a Real Salary and there is no need to tip.
Nobody is ever bad-tempered to service staff. That is nice, señor, as I’ll be here washing the floor!
Nobody reads Dan Brown; everybody reads J. K. Rowling. Got this one. Can we read Pterry and Tolkien and Lope de Vega and Shakespeare and Bujold and Heinlein too?
Everyone is decent and kind and considerate; nobody is grumpy or bitchy or just plain rude to their fellow man. … I’m not sure I wanna wash floors here… are us floorwashers allowed to go to that BBQPit honky-tonk place too?
How does a spoiler box on the back of a T-Shirt work?
Do you have to press down and slide across? If so, I’d buy a dozen. They’d inspire spontaneous backrubs.
By the way, I disagree with the Animal Farm sentiment about “some being more equal than others” is a legit. SD feeling. I’d put something else in that spoiler box.
Some Dopercitizens are ‘Aspies’ or Autistic. They know this because they read a list of symptoms on the internet and matched at least three qualifications.
Everyone is extremely sophisticated and knowledgeable about arcane subjects, especially those they know nothing about. This goes double for the EuroDopers, who are of course twice as intelligent as anyone else, use only renewable resources, and live in beautiful countries with history going back at least 800 years and which have free and easily-obtainable health care, and their nations have never oppressed any brown-skinned peoples, ever. Oh, and they never wave their nation’s flag and find it fascistic when the AmeriDopers wave theirs.
One caveat: nice guys are a different breed from Nice Guys. The two look similar at first glance, so it’s easy to confuse them. There’s a lot more nice guy Dopers than there are Nice Guy Dopers, but the latter are much louder and whinier than the former.
