Experience quitting drinking?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Thanks again, folk, for letting me turn this into my own little support group! :wink: And Gorgon, thanks much for the kind words - even tho I figger yer just tossing me a bone seeing as I’m in pain!

Today was kinda a tough one. Went golfing with a group of guys where in the past I’d have AT LEAST a beer at 9, and then join in on the pitcher parade afterwards. Bought a Gatorade at the turn, and afterwards sat in the bar drinking water, while they split a pitcher of Sam Adams. In the past, I was the kind of guy who is just about always the first guy refilling his glass out of the pitcher.

Just about ALL my friends and family drink at least socially. What I have to make sure I avoid is when I figured I’d have a pop or to before going to a movie, or before going to the kids’ band concert, etc.

Glad to say it was easier than I feared.

Golfed like crap, tho! Kinda sucked when my wife asked me if I had been drinking. I hadn’t, and said no, but I felt kinda out of it. Maybe because I had woken up early and gardened a couple of hours before golfing, and then it was cold, windy, and wet on the course. But I didn’t drink. Hope she believes me, but even if she doesn’t, I know I done good!

Really would have been easier to bnever get in the habit of drinking excessively in the first place. Wish I had always been a “social drinker.” Nota bene, youse utes out there.

22

Great!
It does get easier.
These days I wouldn’t dream of having a drink. And I don’t mean I’m resisting temptation either. I simply don’t have the desire at all.
You won’t regret it.
Good luck.

23

Congrats, Dinsdale, and hang in there. I recently decided to tackle this same project, and began on the auspicious date of April 1st (how apropos, eh?). If doctors are going to freak out over a case of beer per week, I’m glad I haven’t talked to one (which may or may not be a good thing). They’d need medical attention worse than me (one case a week? Try four).

For me (so far), it hasn’t been a struggle to stay away from it, or to combat the part of me that craves it (not sure if that part’s even there…he’s being awfully quiet); rather, the main struggle has been to remember I’m not drinking anymore. I was a daily beer consumer for about fifteen years, and the habit of hitting the cooler every trip to the store was so ingrained that I’ve had to retrain myself out of it. Other than that, it hasn’t been bad so far. Got me a Brita pitcher, a PUR filter for the faucet, several sqeezebottles, and am putting water down like there’s no tomorrow.

So is this where we’re meeting from now on, or do we start an official Straight Dope Dry-a-thon Support thread? Count me in.

24

Just dropping to say I’ve been reading this thread and want to say congratulations on doing so well so far. You’re being super-strong and in my limited experience I think you’re making all the right moves. It sounds like you know yourself well. Well done.

25

I stopped 81 days ago, myself. I was not/am not an alcoholic, but a very aggressive drinker. I had been thinking of stopping for years, and had tried the moderation bit, which admittedly kept me from black outs and vomiting every weekend, but I was buzzing about every day. My little mantra is “It is a lot easier to not drink if you don’t drink.” Makes sense to me, anyway.

I was at a party last night until 2am, a bunch of friends at a house about 40 minutes away, I offered my sober driving services to my neighbor and his girlfriend (actually, to my whole group of friends via e-mail), and they were GREATLY appreciative of that. The (drunk) guy who was “checking” to make sure folks could still drive, by asking them if they were OK to drive :rolleyes:, doubted my sobriety. I had been slamming Cokes and Sprites all night. All my friends know, and they backed me up. I acted sober when I was drunk, and now that I AM sober, some folks can’t tell the difference!

I sometimes miss the taste of a good microbrew, or I was curious about the taste of some new gin last night. But I am no longer in the habit of drinking. I had some thoughts early on of rationalizing a beer or two, because it would be “easier” than telling people I DON’T drink anymore, but I squashed that. I am happy with how I am now. And I hope it is somewhat because of that, I have two friends here who have quit smoking in the last few weeks.

Dinsdale, know that you are not alone in doing this, and a lot of people have done it before you. They are no better than you. .

26

Since I’m sitting here on a Sunday afternoon NOT DRINKING, figured I might as well continue my personal little case study here.

A couple of questions for those of you who have or are contemplating quitting/moderating drinking.

Did you consider AA/Rational recovery/managed moderation, or some other program? Why or why not?

Personally, I thought I could do this myself once I got honest with myself about wanting to do it. Moreover, I guess there was some kinda privacy issue. Not really embarassment, but just not wanting to make this a bigger thing than I needed to. If I go on a bender one of these days, I’ll know I need a little help. Also, I’ve got a problem with the “higher power” issue. And I didn’t need to fill another committment onto my calendar.

Second question, do you ever see yourself drinking moderately in the future? Personally, if I do, it will be some time off. At least a couple of years, if ever. On the one hand, I can imagine wanting to have a glass of champagne for the toasts when my kids get married. That sort of thing. But it will be a long while before I trust myself. Zero, is a much easier limit to adhere to than any other number. And once you build up some time without, it is cleaner to say “x-long without a drink” instead of adding qualifications. At least that is how I personally feel about cigs (17 years or so and counting).

Final question - how do you deal with questions about why you stopped? Do you try to pre-empt them? For example, last night my brother-in-law stopped by to pick something up. I asked him if he wanted a beer, and gave him one while my wife had a glass of wine. I just drank water, and he didn’t ask why I didn’t join him. Normally, we kinda used each other as an excuse to tip at least a couple. I thought about just taking him aside and telling him - for the future - “By the way, I’m going at least for a while without drinking.” But I didn’t. Again, not wanting to make a bigger deal of it than need be. And yesterday when a guy asked if I had “sworn off” beer, I said, “For a while at least.” And nothing more was said. Seemed like the easiest way to get past that moment. Plenty of time later for discussion and explanations if desired.

27

Hi ** Dinsdale**
I’ll answer.

Question 1- AA, or similar groups?

Nope.
Not me.
I am really not a joiner, not a belonger. I also have a philosophy diametrically opposed to these groups. I viewed excessive alcohol consumption as just that. It seems to me that one motif groups like AA really stand for is the phenomenon of “alcoholism”. As I see it, I made poor choices. I do not believe that alcoholism is a disease. In my view that’s an excuse, and a dn poor one at that. I made poor decisions, and it was time to start making good ones. Period.
I think too that such groups consist of a bunch of losers sitting around boo hoo hooing that they can’t drink anymore, and often still drinking. I know that’s a hl of a thing to say, but I quit drinking and I’m not going to dwell on it. I recently read a thread on another board that confirmed my suspicions. (i.e. ppl showing up in clothes they’ve slept in, and other such things)
Incidentally, after my DUI I did have a court enforced alcohol school to attend. I really felt contrite about the DUI, and I wanted to repay my debt to society, but this place was a little “Orwellian”.
The instructors are all true believer types, and the attendees are treated as if they are mentally ill. That got old fast.
On a funny note, I almost got thrown out for passive/aggressive behavior. I took notes, and reminded the instructor to keep his story straight. See, they played fast and loose with the facts, changing them to suit their “message”.
You may choose otherwise, but weirdo groups weren’t for me.
Question 2-Moderate drinking?

I doubt it.
I don’t think I’ll drink again. I don’t think it’s the end of the world though.
If you can do it great, but be careful that you don’t mistake cravings for a balanced view. At a time like this your unconcious mind is looking for any chink in the armor.
I had one beer when I hiked out of Grand Canyon. It had been a four day trek, and I had a beer to celebrate. Some people view this sort of thing as the end of the world, but I knew it would be just one beer.

Question 3-People Inquiring?

This depends on what your relationship is with each individual.
How do I deal with it? I’m firm.

“I don’t want any, thank you.”
“No thank you.”
“I don’t drink.”
“I do not imbibe.”

I don’t really offer any explanation beyond that.

If it’s a close friend, I will confide.

A lot of people however, are asking for different reasons. Many so-called friends will object to your plans to better yourself. For their part they will say things to express the alarm they feel.
I think it’s because they’re jealous.

You are likely to get a lot of comments like, “Whaddya think, you’re too good for us?”

Even though those words won’t be used, the sentiment will be the same. A lot of so-called friends are no longer around for me. I drank a lot in bars, so your situation may be different.

Quitting drinking is your agenda, and none of anyone’s business, unless you choose to confide with them.

28

I’m really proud of all of you who are slowing down, quitting, or whatever your goal is. I’m not a heavy drinker but I did have someone very close to me who tried very hard to quit and by the time he did, it was too late and he died from it.

I’m proud of anyone who has the courage to move ahead and live life to the fullest.

29

**Dinsdale ! ** Congrats…Or, awww shit. :wink:

From an ex-drunk: It’s great that you stopped. Ask your doc for some extra vitamin B12. The diarrhea * can * be caused by lack of alcohol. Your body, especially the pancreas, need to get used to living without. Drink a lot. [no, not booze]. Water, broth and tonic-water is good.

For mental support ask for ‘Alprazolam’. [don’t use it too long, or you might get hooked on that]

Question 1) Yes, I went to AA. It’s a relief to talk to other drunks. After 2 years I quit going there cause, indeed, that “higher power” crap was too much for me. [I’m “dry” for 7 years now]

Question 2) No, I don’t think so.
I * might * be able to, but I’m afraid to try.

Question 3) At first I made excuses… “No, I can’t drink, I’m on medicine” etc. Now I just say: I’m an ex drunk. If you feel more comfortable with the first, please do so.

There’s something else that might be helpfull;
According to my doc, there’s an enzyme missing in our brains that differs us from people who can drink socially.
Just remember that.
Cheer for others who can get absolutely pissed, but don’t * need * alcohol.
Don’t get mad at them.
Alcohol is FUN, if you can handle it.
I can’t.
See it as a diabetic. “I can’t eat chocolate, but why would I get angry at people who can”.

I wish you all the strenght, from the bottom of my heart.
If you need to vent, scream or swear; let me know, I’ll send my e-mail addy.

Good luck. ;j

30

Well, here I am at work early on a Monday morning, so of course what else would I be thinking about other than booze? Not drinking booze, to be specific.

BTW - If folks or the “powers-that-be” grow weary of this thread of self-indulgence, let me know, and we can easily take this to private e-mail. And, anyone who prefers e-mail anyway, mine is in my profile.

Today’s question for all you dry drunks out there, “How, if at all, are you different sober than when you were drinking?” Have you noticed any change in your personality, energy, mental acuity, interests, etc? If so, when did you notice this?

As you might imagine, one thing I’m somewhat disappointed in is that I have not instantly transformed into Super-Soberman. In my sober past 2 weeks, I’ve proven myself to be as big of a lazy, tactless, loudmouthed, opinionated, jerk as before. And I sure haven’t been a bundle of energy.

I remember a similar disappointment when I stopped smoking. I was playing a lot of b-ball at the time, and figured I’d benefit from this amazing increased lung capacity. Toi the contrary, I not only noted no improvement in my athletic ability, but I experienced a kind of withdrawal-related lethargy.

One improvement, I think, is that I may have been somewhat less emotionally labile.

31

Congratulations Dinsdale! It’s encouraging to read that you have stopped drinking so easily but it kind of reinforces my frustration with my brother’s alcoholism. It makes me want to yell at him, “Look at all these people! They’ve stopped drinking - what is the matter with you? Why are you killing yourself so slowly? Why don’t you just take a freaking gun and shoot yourself in the head!” I love him so much but I don’t understand why he can’t stop. He has been through rehab three times, been to and rejected A.A., tried rational recovery, tried antabuse, and has failed to remain sober. He was recently diagnosed with diabetes and still he won’t/can’t stop. Has anyone here had experience with naltrexone? Sorry about the outburst, I just needed to vent.

32

Wow, Dinsdale. This has been a fascinating read. Congratulations on not drinking.

Don’t forget that we’re proud of you on a day to day basis. Hell, on an hour to hour basis. You’re doing really well.

Sincerely,
Tibs.

33

GKW, the difference between your brother and me, and maybe Dinsdale, is that WE may not be true addicts, and your brother may be. Every person has different reasons and desires.

As for the questions, I did consider support groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics, AA, and maybe a few others, but I wanted to see if I REALLY had a problem. Turns out I really didn’t (phew!).

I COULD see my self drinking on occasion except for the fact that my beloved will not be drinking, and we are in life together. It’s a small thing I can do to support her a lot.

As for reasons, my buddy said the other night that I am a Non-Alcoholic! My friends know I’ve stopped and why I’ve stopped, but if it is someone I don’t know very well, I just say I’m not drinking tonight.

34

Evening, folks…thought I’d toss in my spare change (ex-beer money):

1: AA or other groups?

Only as a last resort (which I haven’t hit, yet); mostly because I’m not a socializer by nature. Going at this alone is less stress for me, and thus less incentive to relapse. Having to attend meetings/counselling sessions would make me want to drink more, not less. Plus, whether I’m controlled by booze or AA, I’m still not in control myself, which is theoretically the problem. The solution (from my perspective, at least) is for ME to be in charge. Hence, no outside enforcement. I’ll let you know how it goes.

2: Moderate drinking?

My experience: I have decided to quit before, and after several weeks/few months of proving I could live without it with no problem, decided to try the moderation route: spend money on good beer, and have one per day, max. Interesting period for me. My local grocer has a large selection of beer-oriented merchandise (t-shirts/caps/glasses/steins/etc.), and over the last several years I’d collected a number of t-shirts from different breweries (quicker than doing laundry, doncha know). I made a point of trying all the beers I had shirts for. Found quite a few interesting beverages that way (lots of imports I’d never had), and holding to one per day (or about a sixpack per week) wasn’t any problem. The downside? Went in one night, and decided I could spend my $8.00 on a six of Guinness, or snag a case of Icehouse (5.5% by volume) for the same price. Got the Icehouse (purely for economical reasons), as I knew from the previous four months that I could hold myself to a beer or two per night.

I drank it all in a day and a half. Stuff goes down reeeeeeeal easy. Decided maybe moderation might not be the way to success. YMMV.

3: People inquiring?

Depends, as others have said, on you and them. It’s your fight; don’t compromise it for anyone. My brother used to badger me incessantly if I didn’t drink when we went out–literally to the point of buying me beer if I wouldn’t order it myself and then getting mad at me for “wasting his money” if I wouldn’t drink it. I don’t hang out with him anymore. I can understand family trying to talk a person out of drinking; but what should be made of them trying to talk the person into it? Way to care, there, bro.

4: “How, if at all, are you different sober than when you were drinking?”

After a few weeks of everything wearing off, I’ve noticed that I’ve got a lot more free time on my hands. I find myself frequently having to think of something to do, which was never a problem before. Old life: drag butt out of bed and go to work–come home and drink until sleepy–fall into bed–repeat until weekend, at which point exclude work from equation. I got surprisingly little accomplished. Now I’m reading, writing, learning new songs on guitar, finally getting some exercise, cleaning out five years of accumulation from closets, etc. Lots of time to fill. Sitting and drinking used to soak all that up. Behaviourwise, I’m not sure I’m that different, though. Oh, and I’ve always got MONEY IN MY WALLET!!!

35

I havent gone through any of this myself, and I was only 10 when my father quit binge drinking(he never drank at home, so for us kids, it wasn’t really a noticeable behaviour), so I don’t really know much about what you’re going through. I am glad to hear so many interesting, positive stories.

I have a question, though:

My father drinks 0.5% beer. My grandmother drinks non-alcoholic wine when we have dinner (if we want to drink when she’s around, we have to hide it, or give her something “similar” so she doesn’t get upset - she was forced to quit for medical reasons after several years of drinking 20oz of vodka, and she’s only about 5 foot 2, 115lbs!)

So is drinking non-alcoholic beer or wine a suggested recourse for recovering alcoholics? Is it something that AA, or a doctor, or another knowledgable person recommend to drink, when you have a craving for alcohol? I know that for my father, he loves the taste of beer, and 0.5 is close enough (I think its horrid) to satisfy him if he wants a drink at the end of the day, or with a meal, and it relieves a little bit of the social awkwardness about not drinking. As for my grandmother - I think now its a taste thing for her, I don’t think we’ve fooled her into thinking shes really having wine, but shes goes kind of crazy if we drink around her, and she doesn’t have any.

So…as I said, is it recommended? Did anyone else quit by getting rid of the alcohol, but not the taste?

36

First off, let me say CONGRATULATIONS!!! It’s a tough decision to make, and even harder to follow through with.

  1. Re: AA

It’s not for me. I only went one time, but had a hard time not thinking that these people were bragging about their exploits. I had my husband to help me through the rough spots. I never quit everything at once, either. I also had a drug problem, and I quit in this order: cocaine, hard liquor, beer, pot. I did it all on my own, no therapy or rehab clinics. My husband also quit with me. He had never been a drug abuser, but he liked to drink alcohol on occasion.

  1. Moderate drinking?

Can’t do it. Oh, I’ve had a sip or two of champagne at New Year’s, and a taste of these new-fangled malt beverages, but never a whole beer. I know better.

And I’m seriously glad for this thread. I’ve been sober for over 10 years now, and had recently been having thoughts that maybe I could handle the occasional beer. (I like beer!!) Uh-uh. I see from all these people that that would be a big mistake.

  1. People inquiring?

I can’t remember what I said in the beginning, but now I just say I don’t drink. If they press, I’ll tell them I’m an alcoholic.

  1. Am I different?

Not really. I’m still a flirt. I still talk to strangers while waiting in line. I’m just not an obnoxious drunk! The biggest lesson I learned was - I can still have fun even though I don’t drink. I thought it was the end of life as I knew it, but in fact, it made life better. No more hangovers! I could remember what happened the night before! More money!

I’m very proud of you. Dinsdale. :slight_smile:

37

mnemosyne, I drink the occasional O’Doul’s or Sharp’s for the taste. It does help the cravings. And yes, even after ten years, I still have cravings. The taste is OK, and I get to experience the burping and pissing that goes along with beer drinking. Ahhh! :slight_smile:

38

Well done to all who stopped.

It’s funny really I stopped drinking 6 weeks ago and it was fairly easy (apart from the first 3/4 days on the drugs to ease the shakes and sweats etc). I found that too much information can be a bad thing. I put off stopping for months because I use the Internet. Sounds odd doesn’t it but I read so much about what the withdrawal could be like that I worked myself into the state where I had another drink just to stop thinking about what would happen if I didn’t.

In the end my body told me enough was enough (A litre of spirits and a beer or 2 a day is enough), I got tired of never being able to keep food down or not being able to sleep for more than about 5 hours at a time because of the cravings. Finally cracked and told my SO (who I’d been hiding the true extent of the problem from). She accompanied me to the Docs and that was it, stopped right there.

I couldn’t face, and don’t think I ever will be able to, AA. Just never really fancied the idea, me on my own, much better. It’s worked so far.

Will I ever drink again? Probably. I never ever have any desire to do what I did before again, but i think that I now have a far healthier fear/respect for alcohol in excess than ever before. I’ll give it a couple of years and see how I feel about it. Right now I rarely crave a beer, maybe once or twice a week as I walk past an old bar I used to visit or something. Makes being a student a hell of a lot cheaper (even with subsidised beer I spent a fortune).

To all who are trying to and all who have I salute you.

Merrin

39

I was the subject of that joke that ends, “… but this sip, sip, sip all day long has got to stop!”

My method was to just put off having a drink. I would sometimes get in my car and head for a bar, but on the way I’d tell myself to put it off for an hour or so.

And then one day I realized that I hadn’t had a drink for a whole week! I have not had a drink for over 20 years, but I can’t remember anything since that has equaled that realization. I don’t even think about it any more but it took awhile.

I also had the help of a lot of other drinkers who went out and got drunk after being sober, some for as long as 10 or 15 years. Watching them go down the drain strengthened my resolve.

40

After 3 weeks or so without drinking, I really felt like I was punishing myself by not allowing myself a single drink. I heard about Moderation Management. http://www.moderation.org/

Their approach makes sense to me. I abstained for 33 days, and have drunk moderately since. I will not allow myself to drink more than 4 beers/drinks in one day, and will not drink more than 2 days in a row. Meanwhile, I have done a lot of introspection.

Works for me (so far).

To me, I don’t see moderate guidelines as significantly different than complete abstinence. And I personally am not entirely convinced by much of the “alcoholism as disease” theory.

MM may not be for everyone, but if you are thinking of reducing your alcohol intake, you may wish to check it out.