I’m a weird one. I do want to be a father and have kids someday, yet the phenomenon of couples being ecstatic over positive pregnancy tests is something I have a hard time relating to (unless they were, say, near the end of their fertility window or had tried unsuccessfully for many years to conceive, in which case it makes more sense.)
As a single man with no kids, I’d imagine my response to being told, by my future-wife, “Test says pregnant!” would be an inward reaction of…“Oh, snap. This means immense responsibility and pressure and the potential for a thousand things to go terribly wrong in the future. Kids cost a million dollars each, they can get run over if they don’t look before crossing the street, they can grow up to be crooks, they, they…” It would be anything but dancing and jumping about in glee.
So for those of you Dopers who were ecstatic, please clue me in on how it felt and why
I don’t have kids and never wanted them, but even I can understand how, for couples that have planned it, worked at it, and longed for it, then it’s quite reasonable to feel pretty ecstatic about it actually happening.
Some people actually do have to work at making a baby. Its all fun and games the frist couple of months but after a while it can wear on a couple. Emotions run high and guilt and blame can come into play.
If and when it does happen it can be huge relief as well as a huge win. If it doesn’t happen the couple could spilt. So yeah, peoples lives could be at stake so why not celebrate a win?
It’s possible to have both reactions, to this and to other life-altering moments. I was ecstatic, and I was also overwhelmed, and I also felt huge love for my wife, and I also was scared.
But at the moment when you find out, the happiness is the thing that you feel the most.
Our first pregnancy wasn’t planned, but I have always wanted to be a father.
It’s possible to be really happy over fortunate, but unexpected events as well.
After we lost our first child, having the second positive pregnancy’s result was also unbelievably wonderful.
Oddly enough, we were actively trying for the last pregnancy with careful charting and scheduled sex. As we were already parents, it was just more more of a relief than anything else.
I am confident that I’ve seen commercials for a pregnancy test where the gist of it was “I might want a baby someday but this wasn’t the right time in my life for it so I’m happy to see a negative result”.
Clearly this. My wife and I had been trying for a while, with some hiccups along the way, and when it finally happened, why wouldn’t we be ecstatic? I mean, yes, I was a bit trepidatious about the complete change in life and lifestyle that was about to come, but this was something we had been working at, and being a father had been one of my life goals, and my wife was even more over the moon, especially after one non-viable pregnancy before. I know several couples who have been trying for years before successfully getting pregnant (one is due any day now.) Why would you not be overjoyed when a dream of yours, something you’ve been working hard at, comes into fruition?
So if I’m understanding the OP correctly, you don’t understand why a couple that wanted a baby would be happy with a positive pregnancy test because you don’t want a baby?
My wife had endometriosis and her doctor pointed out that pregnancy could have beneficial effects. She wanted a baby, I didn’t, but we never really discussed it. She began trying, monitoring her temperature, etc.
Eventually diagnostics were done showing I was fertile, but she had problems. She continued trying, while I was happy that no pregnancy resulted. I gave her injections at home, I gave semen samples at her doctor’s office, etc, all to no avail.
When we were told that in vitro fertilization was the next step, I objected due to cost. A year later, having stopped doctors appointments, she was pregnant. I wasn’t thrill, but she was.
Positive emotions are a normal and natural human response when one learns one has achieved a much-desired objective.
My wife and I were walking down a side street in Cabo San Lucas when we got the happy call from the fertility clinic in which they provided detailed confirmation of what we already suspected. We laughed and cried and danced around and then we went into a bar where I had a drink and she had a club soda. This is what people do.
You sound like a classic pessimist, focusing on the downsides and dangers. Would you have a similar reaction to getting a new job, buying a house, getting a pet, or starting a new relationship?
