My wife has been feeling sick for the last two weeks. She is usually quite resilient when it comes to fighting illnesses but she couldn’t seem to shake this one. A couple of days ago she tells me that she is late :eek: However, she has often been a little irregular so there was no need to be alarmed but she felt she would like to take a pregnancy test, just to alleviate any worries we might be having. Sounds good. She takes the test and:
Mrs. G: So what do you want first? Good news or bad news.
Me: Good news.
Mrs. G: You won’t have to use a condom for the next 8 months.
I guess that it will have to just sink in, eventually. We have two kids (Li’l G is three, princess G is 18 months) and I was happy. Mrs. G thought we might consider trying for another one in a year or two, but only if she could get me on board. Neither of us expected or wanted this. We took several precautions to prevent this. I want to get excited, like I was for my first two, but I can’t. Not yet, anyway. I don’t want to tell anyone either because I don’t feel like celebrating and I am not sure that the people we would tell would understand why not.
[understatement]Sometimes it takes some time to get used to an unplanned pregnancy. [/understatement] I am pretty sure that if Greenback is old enough to have two children and one on the way, he is aware of the existence of abortion and adoption as options. Maybe we should just give him a little time and space to get used to the idea.
Hope everything turns out for the best, Greenback.
Greenback, if you two are going to keep this baby [and I wish the best no matter which choice you make], maybe you could try to think about the positive parts of it? I know the negatives have to be overwhelming, what with the cost and the unexpected addition and 18 more years of another person and everything, but maybe you can look at baby pictures or movies from your first two and remember how much fun they were as newborns. I’ve always thought that pregnant women seemed twice as pretty for some reason. Maybe you’ll get to spend more time with this baby and see more of the milestone moments? Lil’ G will get a brother to hang out with, or Princess G will get a sister to share a room with. Three is a nice number. I’d heard parents say that once you have two, the number doesn’t really make a difference – two or six, it’s all the same. Girl or boy, you’ll have a lot of the things you’ll need for a baby and won’t have to shell out the way one does with a first babe.
Good luck, and [if she’s going forward with it] I wish Mrs. Greenback a healthy pregnancy.
Our daughter arrived six months later. Despite the fact that we’d been treated for infertility and spent years trying to conceive, we were a little ambivelent (more than a little amblivelent) to the pregnancy. Not really ready for it. And by that time we’d learned to picture our family as one made by adoption - this meant we’d never adopt a second child (we could - but we wanted two - and got two). And I’d never planned to have two children barely a year apart in age!
She is a lovely (if stubborn) little girl I wouldn’t trade for the world. We are so very lucky to have them both.
Best wishes. What you are feeling is completely normal. Remember to be extra nice to your wife - what you are feeling she is feeling through the “hormone based emotion intensifier.”
Ten months ago, we were right where you are. Our son was 10, and we certainly weren’t planning more. I know what you’re going through. However, I wouldn’t give up this little guy for anything.
My husband had the same reaction you are feeling when I found out I was pregnant with my 4th child. He was not looking forward to another member of our family at all. As a matter of fact, I wasn’t too thrilled, either, and actually was hoping to miscarry, by practically starving myself to end the pregnancy.
Well, the baby progressed quite well, in spite of me and she was born perfectly healthy. She was the most loveable, wonderful, & bubbly beauty to grace this household and she still is the delight of our lives! I am so very thankful to God that He brought her into our family. She blesses us all every day of her life.
So, please, think positive thoughts about this new creation. You may get more happiness coming out of it than you could imagine!
We’re in the very same boat right now. We’ve got a two year old girl, and a nine month old boy. The third’s due next July.
Well, let’s just say, it really blew our comfort level out of the water at first, but ultimately, we’re getting more used to it, and even excited. By the time the next one arrives, I know we’ll be just as excited as we were with the others.
Good luck with any decisions you may need to make, but I know that a little bit of time can really help you adjust to these little surprises.
…and congratualtions!
(I’m planning on getting snipped next year, btw- extremely frightening to me, but less so than the idea of an unexpected FOURTH!)
Our first was unplanned. I was a wreak - I literally cried I was so scared.
But in the end it’s been truly amazing – I can’t imagine life without my daughter.
So she’s 7 now, in 2nd grade we’re sailin’ right along, everything’s cool right?
Not so fast there zoid, turns out the wife is in a family way again…………
WITH TWINS, MAYBE EVEN TRIPLETS!
I’m back to freakin’ out, not as bad as before but still quite scared.
I’m gonna concentrate on the good stuff – it’ll actually be pretty COOL!
Sorry for leaving this thread… internet has been down for a couple of days. Eve: Neither of those are options for us. My wife is completely pro-life and I lean that way. I also can’t see me giving up a child, my child, to someone else. My position when it comes to my kids is that you can have them OVER MY DEAD BODY. I laid claim to this one as soon as my my told me the news. I just was/am a little shocked right now.
kanicbird: Sorry for highlighting national economic troubles with my own.
Dangerosa: Wow! That is close together. She is a lot more at peace with this than I am as she actually wanted another…just not so soon.
Thanks for sharing that SpiceTea. I am working on the positive thoughts, but it has only been 3 days and am still a little stunned.
Thanks all for responding.
We are now looking to see if my insurance covers a private midwife. We had the same midwife for the first two when she was in public practice. Now she has a private practice but we both think that it would be neat to have all three kids attended to by the same person.
It really doesn’t seem to me, in this case, that this baby will be unwanted. Greenback has been taken aback by this, is a little shocked by this, and needs time to adjust, that’s all. Trust me, I remember the feeling well, felt when my 19 year old unmarried self became pregnant. He’s 17 now, graduates from high school in May, and along with his sisters is the joy and light of my life.
Take a few deep breaths, Greenback, before you know it you will be anticipating this child with as much excitment as your other two.
I don’t know her, so maybe I am wrong. But if I wanted another, hadn’t yet had a chance to talk Brainiac4 into it, and accidentally got pregnant, in my hormonal paranoia I’d be sure that he thought it was accidentally on purpose and I’d betrayed him in some fashion…
Just something to watch for.
Mine are not quite 13 months apart in age. My son is Korean and arrived home at six and a half months.
