Explanation / apology for Green Bean

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Note: I’m not putting this in ATMB, because it’s not worthy of it. Equally, I’m not putting this in the Pit because if I put it there, I could see this being moved to MPSIMS.

In this thread, I made a mistake in posting in tiny type something about Green Bean: to wit, that she was a hypocrite. I have received comments and emails (including one from Green Bean herself) asking me to explain. Even though I have explained to those who asked me, I still feel that the right thing to do is to post an explanation / apology publicly, since my original offense was also public.

I will admit that I didn’t quite “accidentally” post it, never mind the impression I may have created with my subsequent “apology” post. Certainly I may have gotten off relatively scot-free if I hadn’t included the coding. I was sort of looking to get away with it; I’ll be honest. But I included the subsequent post because I thought it would deflect attention away from the egregious mistake. That was wrong, and I’ll admit it. Heck, posting that at all was wrong; I should have let the issue (which I’ll explain presently) go to email.

You see, I was still a bit angry over what I saw as Green Bean’s hypocrisy. In this thread, a few high-count posters (Green Bean, Biggirl, and others) said that they didn’t read any of my threads. Fair enough. I can’t control what people read, and I cannot mandate them to read any threads that they do not wish to. (whether mine or others)

However, in this thread, one of the first posters to come into the thread and give me a virtual smackdown in true Pit fashion was none other than Green Bean. At the time, I noticed it, but didn’t think much of it. Later, I was rereading those threads, and found what I saw as her hypocrisy to be a little too much than I could bear. She had previously said that she didn’t read any of my threads; fine. But then to come in on one of my next threads and reply to it? It didn’t matter that she replied to it, but what she’d previously said didn’t mesh. (I would have posted as much, but Lynn had closed the thread) That thread was a bad idea to start with, as well. (I admit it now)

Yes, I could have let this issue go, or emailed Green Bean about it, privately. However, I made the ill-advised choice to post it where others could see. I could also make excuses and say that my brain was still scrambled after what had happened previously to me (almost getting run over / killed can do that to you – and it still is, somewhat; the Dopers that I talk to via IM can somewhat attest to this), that I was acting on impulse (which I seem to do fairly often), that I wasn’t thinking clearly (which I definitely wasn’t), or any other number of reasons. Whether they had any grain of truth in them, they would be ultimately lame excuses, and wouldn’t really explain why I’d done what I did.

Only after I made those two posts did I realize what consequences I might have to suffer for my actions. However, there was no way to take it back (however much I might have wished to), as it was right there on the board for all to see. I would like to make it clear that while I think Green Bean was hypocritical on this issue, I otherwise respect her. She had asked me for the courtesy of an explanation, and I am now giving her one. Whether or not she (or you) regard it as an apology is something that I cannot determine.

I am posting this in the hopes that it will at least relieve any puzzlement you might have had over that reference. That is all I’m hoping for. If people see this as an explanation of my actions (whether it lacks merit or no), and / or as an apology, then that is their perspective. I have no goals or ulterior motives in posting this; just the hope that Green Bean will read this explanation. She (or you) doesn’t have to accept this, but at least read this before making any more judgements.

I am deeply sorry for any consternation I may have caused among you, or any distress I may have caused Green Bean. She did not deserve to be called a hypocrite in that manner. I am ashamed of my conduct, and will do my level best not to repeat it in future. That is all.

(I could include a line or two of smackies, but no number of smackies will be enough punishment for me. I await your decree… well, just a couple. :smack: :smack: )

F_X

2

Just so you know, I linked to this thread over at the original thread, in the Pit.

Why not post it there?

3

With negative feelings, it’s best to deal with them at the time rather than letting them fester and then SPLURGE out all over someone else’s thread.

Dealing with negative feelings need not necessarily mean confronting the person, but a calm, sensible email can be very useful. It’s important to be calm. Lashing out via email or via message-board post will never ever lead to a desirable conclusion.

Dealing with negative feelings can also include thinking about them for five seconds and determining that it isn’t worth bothering about. I would class “who responds to your threads” very VERY firmly in the WHY FUCKING CARE? category. Some things should be gotten the fuck over already.

I wish you luck in working towards a more healthy and sensible way of dealing with interpersonal stuff, and also in working towards a more honest way of approaching your own actions. You have some work to do.

4

Diplomacy, thy name is Tansu.

5

oops for the swear words, I thought this was the Pit.

6

Tansu - Blair just called - he wants to know if you would like to be the Minister for Northern Ireland. :slight_smile:

7

Well I’m sure Green Bean won’t lose any sleep over it. I am amazed and awed that the wonderful Lynn stated that she would not want you to be seen as a representative of the Straight Dope. I guess it would take a speeding Amtrak train to hit you head on for you to realize that you aren’t exactly one of the more popular posters (loosely used term if you could call what you type posts) especially when an Admin makes that point.
And since almost all the posts I’ve made about you have been less than complimentary, a word of advice. The world DOES NOT revolve around you, you are not the center of the universe and dopers do not want to read about every thing in your life that doesn’t suit you. So you didn’t have a wonderful childhood, guess what? Neither did 90% of the rest of us. Suck it up and make the best of the future because as much as you love living in the past, it’s gone. And yes we realize that you live for message boards, not only this one but many many others. I’ve seen your posts on a couple of other ones, you cut and paste very well. And no, as much as you would like to flatter yourself, neither I nor any other doper, follow you around from thread to thread. You just ain’t worth the effort. But when you post something against a popular doper, like Green Bean, then you are opening yourself up to the party. So enjoy this party you created for yourself. It’s called a roasting party.

8

“…neither I nor any other doper, follow you around from thread to thread.”

Though it may appear that way, but I think that has more to do with FlamX’s…remarkable posting rate than any kind of persecution.

“But when you post something against a popular doper, like Green Bean, then you are opening yourself up to the party.”

It’s not even that Green Bean is a POPULAR poster…it’s that she’s a person who, of all things, you could NOT call a hypocrite.

Anyone who takes “I don’t go out of my way to read your threads” or “I don’t read your posts” as “I will never ever ever ever read another thing from you ever again” - and then takes it personally enough to insult them when they do - needs to take a very serious look at the idea of either giving up bulletin boards for a second, OR resign themselves to the idea that the world is stuffed to the gills with liars and hypocrites who are out for their blood!!!

Like Green Bean. :rolleyes:

9

Aw, that’s OK Flam- I’m sure we all understand where you’re coming from and sympathize with your point of view! You poor, misunderstood thing!!! {{{{{{{BIG HUGS!!!}}}}}}}}
Feh, I can’t even type a joke response, this is so stupid.
Get a grip and grow up already. Green Bean is a very respected poster and I find your posts (both here and in the Pit) disingenuous and ridiculous.

A poster saying “I’m no longer going to bother with your threads” means that when they aren’t interested in your latest to-do list or how your period is coming along. That doesn’t mean they will never respond to anything you say.

Either way, putting your little “accident” in a thread about a different topic was immature and cowardly. Open a pit thread if you have a bitch (that’s what it’s for) or send an e-mail.

By the way, before you bother to call me a hypocrite too, I didn’t post THIS in the Pit because I assume that’s where this thread is headed shortly and I didn’t want to feed your ego by calling you out there.

10

Early in the morning. Zette and Hama stated it much better than I.

11

There is a reason FX has more than likely never seen me post in her threads. I am doing so now to ask how the heck did you get from GreenBean saying how SHE PERSONALLY thought what you did between the two boards was inappropriate, and how SHE PERSONALLY did not want you representing these boards, to your assumption the GreenBean somehow represented the SDMB? Your leaps of logic are astounding.

12

This’ll teach me not to skim:

“I will admit that I didn’t quite “accidentally” post it, never mind the impression I may have created with my subsequent “apology” post. Certainly I may have gotten off relatively scot-free if I hadn’t included the coding. I was sort of looking to get away with it; I’ll be honest.”

WHAT???

“the impression I may have created?” May have? You mean the way that you immediately blatantly lied? That’s not “may have created.” That’s “attempted to deceive.”

“May have gotten off relatively scot-free?” For calling Green Bean a HYPOCRITE?

You say “I almost got away with insulting someone I don’t know for a stupid reason, aggregiously, and with absolutely no intention but to be a total jerk-off” like it’s a GOOD thing.

I really, sincerely hope that at some point you try to resolve some of your obvious gigantic issues with the truth and appropriate behavior at some point. Right now, I wouldn’t believe you if you told me the sun was hot.

Of course, MY opinion doesn’t matter. I’m hoping some of the people to whose praise you cling like duct tape will give you a wake-up call as well.

13

So let me see if I understand, Flamsterette_X.

This all started because of a Pit thread in August in which people were complaining about posters going “look at me” and flirting in IMHO. In the Pit thread you were never refered to by name, though your IMHO thread was linked and you were obliquely referenced. There, Green Bean said: “I often choose to open a thread or not based on the person who started it. I never open anything by that poster any more.”

Then, in October you started a Pit thread about going over to a twins message board and getting yelled at by one of the members of that board for not being a twin or a parent of twins. In that you you got properly chastized, both by members and the administration, for representing yourself on that board as a “member of the Straight Dope 1000 post club.” There Green Bean said (in what you describe here as “a virtual smackdown in true Pit fashion”):

And now, in November, when Green Bean responds to a thread you were not previously involved in, you call her “a hypocrite,” with her allegedly hypocritical behavior being her responding to a thread you started in October after saying she never opened any of your threads in August.

Do I have the facts correct here, Flamsterette_X? If not, could you point out where I am in error? Thanks.

14

:rolleyes: Please. We aren’t stupid. There was very little chance that this thread would have been moved from the Pit. And further more, I think you have high enough of a post count to damn well know it. It seems more likely to me that you’re not putting this in the Pit because you’ve already seen a hint of the types of responses you would (rightly) receive on this matter and you’re too cowardly to take it.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe someone made mention of your thread somewhere else and that is why GreenBean read it and subsequently posted? That’s not hypocrisy. Or maybe GreenBean has twins, or is friends with someone that is so, even though she doesn’t like reading your threads (and quite frankly, neither do I), she opened that one up based on the OP. That’s not hypocrisy either.

Even if it was blantant hypocrisy, it was cheap and childish to make your “accidental” snide comment. You didn’t fool anyone and the only purpose it served was to make you look bad. Then, instead of posting a reply in the same thread (where it belonged - or at the very least, the same forum), you open a brand new thread? Pardon me if I :rolleyes: on more time. Your apology smacks of attention-getting, not to mention seems less than sincere. So who’s the hypocrite now?

15

I find it ironic that you refer to them as “high-count posters” rather than “well-respected posters.”

A high post count does not a well-respected poster make.

16

This is pathetic. You should have never done it, period. If you have a problem with someone, you email them or you pit them. The end. You don’t play ‘ohhh, Oopsie!’ and expect to get away with it. Do you think we are a board of stupid people?

The fact that you feel persecuted when someone says something as innocuous as Green Bean said to you shows a lot about your character. That Lynn Bodoni herself called you out also does. If you can’t play here nicely and by the rules, leave.

17

If you want to flame a poster, there’s a forum for that, and this is not the right forum. That goes for a couple of other posters in this thread too.
And as an administrator, I especially dislike posters that say “I’m going to post something inappropriate in this forum because I know this thread is going to be moved anyway.” If you know your post is inappropriate for the forum, then why would you make it? Don’t do this kind of thing again.

18

I apologize for any comments I may have made which are not moderate or tolerant enough for MPSIMS. I tried, but I may not have been successful. So…I apologize for perhaps being more vehement than MPSIMS allows.

I’ll keep any other too-ugly-for-MPSIMS comments about the poster in question in the Pit.

19

You’re not putting this in ATMB because that would have been the completely wrong forum, and Arnold would have definitely had to move it.

20

FlamX, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t read your threads either.

Now that that’s out of the way, this is a lovely little non-Pit pile-on you folks have going here. What exactly are you more concerned with - that she said what she did to begin with or that she made another thread to make her “insincere” apology?

Is what she said to GreenBean rude? Yeah. Did she apologize? Yeah. Does it matter how sincere she may or may not be? No, we’re on a friggin’ Internet message board, and I’ll bet few of us (if any) actually know her in person.

She attempts to correct a mistake, and you start thrashing her for “attention-getting.” Well, gee wiz. Forget about her saying something stupid instead of piling into her thread and she won’t get the attention, will she.

It always amazes me how hung-up some of you get about decorum.

Have any of you ever posted to other message boards? Do you know how chaotic, senseless and grammatically vacuous they are?

Maybe we are all just a little too spoiled here. Everyone thinks so highly of themselves that when someone make a couple mistakes we start playing politics, shunning them for their social foux pas.

Damn, tell her she’s a ninny and let it rest.