Hello Fellow Dopers.
I have been looking back at my recent actions, and have thought pretty damn hard about myself and how I am towards other people. My behavior last month about the birthday card was unacceptable, and I apologize. I have made it difficult for a number of people, and I am deeply sorry for that.
I let my emotions get the better of me that day. When I originally saw the envelope, I was surprised and appreciative. Then I opened the card, and the thing I noticed most of all was that Akatsukami hadn’t put my name on the inside of the card. I thought that was odd at the very least. I rashly posted the original birthday card thread and the identifying information without thinking through the consequences.
After I posted the thread, I realized that his actions weren’t intentional. I apologize for the attack against his disability that I included. I was active in that thread until people really started disagreeing with me. By that time, I knew I had made a mistake. I couldn’t undo it, yet I couldn’t type out an apology just then… no matter how much I wanted to. (and I did)
I called Tibby a degenerate because I was reacting to her calling me a bitch and a horrible friend. No, I wasn’t thinking about her sexual orientation first and foremost. I dashed that off on the spur of the moment. That was another mistake, and I realized that almost as soon as it had submitted. I have expressed anti-homosexual opinions in the past, but this wasn’t intended to be one of those times. I apologize for those hurtful and intolerant remarks, both the ones I made then and the ones I’ve made in the past.
Instead of typing out an apology, I retreated for a couple of hours because I was feeling heartsick over what I did. Not the best strategy to use. When I went back to the computer, people were telling me that I’d been Pitted. I typed up a sincere apology and posted it.
I stupidly and guiltily told Akatsukami about the thread later on, not out of a desire to hurt him. As I expected, he was upset over it. Later on, I offered both Akatsukami and Tiburon apologies by eamil.
It was unintentional on my part to cause hurt, pain, upset, and changed opinions. But whatever my original intentions, I have tried to deal with what I did… and am learning from it, as well.
I apologize to both Akatsukami and Tiburon here, and to the community here as a whole. What I did was thoroughly unacceptable, and I know that now. In conclusion, my actions were wrong and awful in some cases. So again, I fully apologise for what I have said. I just hope I can be forgiven.
F_X
