It’s quite a tale! Tons of he-said-she-said-he-said stuff and at some points it’s hard to decide who to feel sorry for. In the end it is all pretty clear, but it’s also a frustrating story. The stuff the stalker guy did is not really high-level leet hacker stuff, it’s pretty simple. Yet it was all extremely effective, and for the most part it was easy for him to dismiss.
The woman really lucked out in being able to get an amazing legal team on her side. Pro bono to boot!
You can Google the stalker’s name and find his blog if you want to read his side of the story, and comments to his support.
I guess I don’t really have any insightful comment on this. I’ve been part of “online” since the mid-90s and at this point I’m pretty lucky I haven’t managed to make any enemies to any extreme extent. I read this article over lunch and it freaked me out.
Honestly, I’m not believing much of what the Zonis guy says. I’ve seen too many men who, when they’ve been rejected, resort to scorched-earth blasting of the women who reject them. “If you don’t want me, it must be that you’re a bitch who isn’t good enough for me” kind of mentality. There’s a reason why the phrase “revenge porn” exists.
Now, I’m not sure that the husband did the right thing either. I’m not a fan of airing dirty laundry for everyone to see. I’m not victim-blaming here; I’m not saying it’s his fault he’s being harassed. It’s the harasser’s fault he’s being harassed. But I’m not sure that telling everyone was the right step, either.
Looking at his blog, Zonis doesn’t sound too bright. And anyone willing to act as their own lawyer in such a situation…well, you know what say about a man who’s his own lawyer having a fool for a client.
(Courtney and Steve obviously share their own blame, but damn.)
That is horrible. There were mistakes all around, but that Zonis cat is just an S.O.B.
Why was this not a criminal case. He was obviously committing many crimes, in my opinion.
There was a quick mention that Zonis was rejected by 2 or 3 lawyers before he went to representing himself. For me, that really put me on the side of “guilty” for him.
Sounds like this Zonis guy has waaaaay too much time on his hands.
And Courtney and Steve need to have DNFTT tattooed on the inside of their eyelids. Yes, he’s a scary creep. What he wants is attention - any sort of attention. The guy who wrote The Gift of Fear said that if someone calls you ten times and you pick up on the eleventh, you have taught him that the price of getting your attention is eleven calls. And intermittent reinforcement is very difficult to un-teach.
You don’t tell him to stop contacting you. You put him on Ignore. Block him on everything, send all his emails to a folder but don’t reply, he doesn’t exist. Ghost him.
