I would tell my buddy about this biblical passage, without remembering what book and verse came from. Here is the passage, with help from Ken’s Guide To The Bible, and translations from all below.
King James Bible: “She dotes upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of assed, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.”
New International Bible: “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
New Revised Standard Bible: “She lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of stallions.”
Good News Bible: “she was filled with lust for oversexed men who had all the lustfulness of donkeys or stallions.”
My buddy replied: "I guess girls just like big di***s!!
I randomly flipped to that chapter of Ezekiel during an Easter service I was playing handbells at. Do you have ANY idea how hard it was for me not to jump out of my seat and yell, “Yeah, yeah, resurrection and life everlasting… but would you look at THIS?”
The Old Testament is so much more entertaining. See also Song of Solomon 8:8 for a good laugh.
Eze. 23:20: This cooze was regular fuck machine, day and night, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. So she lusted after these John Holmes motherfuckers, who had fucking donkey cocks. This is so the cooze could something he hadn’t felt since forever: pain. These fuckers were like Charles Bronson in ‘The Great Escape’, they were diggin’ tunnels.