F-You Josh Hamilton

The Game Room
1

I hope the Rangers kick this prima donna out on his ass. His act has gotten tired.

He is going to be relying on God to help him decide where he ends up:

"With prayer, where God says so. With prayer, where God says so. And with prayer, where God says so. Period. He’s always led me to the right places.”

I’m sick of his Jesus act. Did you need help from Jesus to cheat on your wife? Will you need help from Jesus to get drunk this off season and come crying back asking for ‘forgiveness.’

Did God help come up with your bullshit excuses during your slump this season, making it seem oh so serious and then turn around and blame chewing tobacco? Perhaps you were busy having an one on one with Jesus when you were too busy to catch a fly ball.

I hope he signs with the Mets and gets caught in a gay bathhouse snorting lines of cocaine off of Tim Tebow’s ass cheeks!

2

And I don’t see a lot of teams lining up to throw $ at him. But, it only takes one.

3

And then you look at his numbers.

4

No, you look at his numbers. The ones for the last three weeks of the season. You know, the ones when it MATTERED. Oh yeah I forgot…he had something wrong with his nose. I mean his eyes. God, I hope he’s gone next season! (What forum is this?) Oh never mind.

5

They all matter exactly the same during the regular season.

6

The Reds will happily accomodate him, provide him with a handler and keep his coke, women and booze binges out of the media. I mean, if I owned the Reds I would anyway.

7

All the games matter.

If you don’t believe me, why don’t you ask the Tampa Bay Rays what games matter. They played amazingly well down the stretch; they were damn near as good as Oakland, 19-11 after September 1. What did it get them? Bupkus, because they weren’t good enough early in the year.

Yeah, Hamilton’s Jesus thing is tiresome, but he needs it. Hamilton is a dull-minded and weak man who is perpetually one bad step from blowing his life apart. Say what you will about the Jesus stuff - and I’m an atheist - but it seems to have allowed him to build a working life. He’s fallen a few times but we all fall a few times. At least it’s just to odd slip up, as opposed to being in prison or fucking dead. Jesus is part of a support system that keeps him being in a group of mildly irritating celebrities as opposed to being in a group of dead celebrities, with Amy Winehouse and the like.

If you want someone to blame for the Rangers missing the division by one game, what about Michael Young? Young played almost every game and was for absolute shit; he was one of the worst players in the American League. Maybe he’s not irritating with the Jesus, but he sure knows how to ground into double plays and pop out a lot. You could have put any number of AAA guys in there and the Rangers win the division. I’ll take Hamilton and his religion any day. The man can hit.

8

Is it really Michael Young’s fault that he’s shit? I mean, sure, yeah, I guess it is, but he was trying out there. Isn’t it the manager’s job to take players out of the lineup when they’ve demonstrated that they’re not performing?

Ron Washington is awful.

9

If Josh Hamilton were the Rangers’ biggest problem, they’d have won the championship several times.

10

You guys are so dumb. Josh Hamilton is a terrible baseball player. He drinks too much. Talks about God too much. His homeruns never leave the ballpark, so weak going into the stands like that. He can’t run around the bases more than once, so each time he’s on base he can only possibly score one run. Pfft. He kills kids when he throws baseballs in the stands. His singing voice is awful. He over uses social media. And, he chokes in September.

Clearly, the rest of the league needs to teach this awful player a lesson. Allow the Phillies to sign him for the league minimum. That’s the only way.

Also, the Rays should trade Longoria to the Phillies. To teach another lesson.

11

Yeah, with anyone else managing, they might have *won *the last two World Series.

12

After three failed trips with a dugout absolutely stacked with talent, maybe management finally gets the message.

Hamilton needs to stay. Ron Washington needs to GTFOOD.

13

Is getting to the World Series a failure? Really?

I mean, can you really blame Ron Washington for Neftali Feliz blowing it?

14

Slight nitpick: He kills *firemen *when he throws baseballs in the stands.

15

Funny, I don’t recall them being referred to as ‘stacked with talent’ at the beginning of the 2010 season. I certainly don’t remember anyone picking them to be AL Champ. The reason we consider them stacked with talent now is that they were in the WS the past 2 years.

IMO, Washington has done a pretty good job.

16

Josh Hamilton says the booing today from Rangers fans is like what Jesus went through; the hometown turning against him.

What a egomaniac sack of shit. I so want him to end up at a Motel 6 with a hooker and a crack pipe!

17

He was surprised they turned on him so quickly. Almost as quickly as he turned on them.

18

Hamilton says his wife called security before the game because of the abuse fans were throwing at her. What a jerk that guys is. That’ll show him for… well, I don’t know what he did other than leave the Rangers when they weren’t that interested in keeping him, but now that the fans terrified his wife I hoped he learned his lesson!

19

I’m sure his wife, who I bet is a good Christian women, is busy counting her diamonds and other jewels. I would have called his wife every name in the book and made her wish she was the Whore of Babylon.

20

I mean, of course you would have done that. Wouldn’t we all. After all, she was married to the guy while he put up .285 / 43 / 128 for your team last year!

What a whore!

Of course, 4 of the 43 were in the same game, right? So really that’s like only 39 the rest of the way. That stupid piece of shit.