Failed Maxims
A bulldog without honour is like a bicycle without mustard.
From the rising of the sun to the going-down of the moon, always eat bananas.
Three things there are that be forbidden knowledge.
Time was, time is, time will be, time for lunch.
To the young at heart, every day is a day withour sulphur.
Trouble not thy neighbours, for they may take up tuba-playing in the middle of the night.
That that is, is. That that is not, maybe isn’t.
He who can face death and laugh; he who knows no fear of failure; he who can climb the highest mountain, or swim the widest sea, and yet know modesty; he who is more perfect than soup; he who mocks not beavers; he who can carve beans into miniature replicas of the Eiffel Tower; he who is lighter than helium; he who can staple earwigs to rocks; he who knows the names of the chickens; he who can commune telepathically with toasters … he is, indeed, something else.
Haiku, you coo, we all coo for dog poo.
A day of rain in the desert is more precious than a gall-bladder operation.
The woman with one eye sees more clearly than the top of the highest tree.
A helping hand in time of need is helpful.
Blessed are the apothegmatic, for they shall be obfuscatory.
Sing songs from the heart, and belabour not the dog who howls with you.
The meek-souled man says in his heart, “No, you go first.” And then the prideful man goes first.
A sunny day, a helpful friend,
A kindly word, a flower to tend,
A thoughtful glance from you to me,
Ba zimba zimba zimba zee.
Bridge-builders find more valleys to cross than postmen.
An ideal woman is rarer than sand.
