Fake humorous work injury

I need to invent a fake work injury from a fake job. Doesn’t need to sound realistic, in fact it preferably shouldn’t.
My ideas so far:

Fell down from the railing of Titanic.

Made a bad dive into my pile of cash.

There was a bomb threat, and I had to drive the bus faster than 50 miles per hour, which resulted in a strained ankle.

Now, these are bad. So I hope you guys have something better.

Yeast infection from sharing toys with your co-star in “Big-Boobed Blonde Bitches Behind Bars III”?

(extra points if you’re male.)

I was bitten by a shark while treasure-diving.

I was in a prize-fight and lost.

Policeman beaten senseless by a pants-less Chinese woman, using her pants as a weapon.

Link broken for non-sexual nudity: http://www.livele ak.com/view?i=c50_1295049603

I think you were a rookie Secret Service agent, and instead of taking a bullet for the president, you took a newspaper spanking after the Presidential Dog piddled on the rug in the oval office.

Moving from IMHO to MPSIMS.

Obligatory link (as seen on Mythbusters): Barrel of Bricks Injury Claim

I just washed my face and I can’t do a thing with it.

I recall a single-panel newspaper comic that had a guy with six arms, all in slings. “Got my hands caught in the copying machine”.

The feminine hygiene dispenser fell off the wall and broke my foot.

This actually happened where I worked.

I actually read this in the accident register at the hospital where I worked:

Dropped lid of small saucepan into large saucepan. Reached in to get it out. Large saucepan full of boiling water.

Trampled underfoot by managers after being caught trying to steal a red stapler.

Finger stuck in the cronkulator.

I was shot by a rebel in my former position as an Imperial Stormtrooper.

Broke my shoelace and used my vas deferens.

A secret agent pushed me over a catwalk railing while I was working as a security guard at some factory.

How was I supposed to know they were building a superbomb to destroy the Earth in there? I mean, if he would’ve told me I would have probably helped him!

If you’re female: Boob injury after stress-testing a new workout bra.
If you’re female: Johnson bent after stress-testing a new athletic supporter.


Cranial rectal insertion.

Sublethal transporter malfunction. (:eek:!)