KelliBelli? If he is so endearing in every other way? Then, a sit down is in the offing. When nice and relaxed, tell him that his love for you has never been expressed just that way, and you would just love to show him what works, what doesn’t…it is all about trust. He HAS to trust you in this regard, and it may bring the entire thing to a new level.
As for how to say it? Or when? My heart aches so for my dear one… the first time I said, “I’m in love with you” was in the written word…and she was speechless ( god bless IM’s.). She asked me if I was aware of what I had just said, and I replied, it has been inside of me for so long, it was the right moment, and it just came out naturally… nothing can be forced with more disastrous results than those three words. Either they flow like cool pure water, or they die on the vine. No middle ground… at least, in my heart.
My two cents,
Typer
Adding myself to the growing crowd that thinks they have all the answers:
My distinct advice is to try to put on the brakes and still hang out and be charming. I have “accidently” made this process work. And once it really was by accident. I thought I was just being nice and helpful and ended up with footsies under the restaurant tables. Unfortunately that was the time I really didn’t want it.
The point being: be so nice and wonderful that they virtually ask them out themselves. Start filling that male hole in their lives, and do it right, and they’ll hand themselves over. Not that this is any different than things working the other direction. It’s just a fact about people in general, really.
I have been in love and i have been hurt. However that would never stop me from taking that chance again. Love is a chance; you can either be a crocodile or a manitee.
Crocodiles don’t let anyone near them and never get hurt but are they happy. Manitee’s on the other hand let everyone near and take the chance of being hurt, and i believe they are happy. I believe we were never ment to be alone.
Saying i love you is a chance; a chance that the feeling won’t be returned. You alone are the only one who can decide weather to take that chance.
When the time is right there will be no question in your mind. If there is a question then the time is not right yet.
I have been seeing someone for 5 months and i know he loves me actions speek a thousands words. I knew before he could say it. It is worth the wait.
What i waited for before i could say it was; is the feeling unconditional can i love him no mater what.
I can say it and I have and after 6 months I am ready to spend the rest of my life with him.
This is just my opinion! Good luck
I’d wait a bit on the saying I love you thing. For me it would make me think you were a phsycotic stalker, as in, " You love me? Dear God, you must be mental!"
Instead, why not romance her with flowers, cards and stuff like that until things are more clear and settled. Send flowers to her work. Chicks dig that.
Wonko…do what shirley said, romance her, make her feel loved. Dont say it yet…what will you have to say later on?
And back to me…well, I found out more, because as Drainbead indicated this can be a killer, and after careful probing, I discovered that he used to,BUT:
about 10 years ago, he discovered his live in of many years was sleeping around…and I think that is how he found out…on a trip south.(YIKES!!!)
He hasnt gone south since. I hanvt quite given up yet ;)…I think with time, and trust (that my ex is really out of the picture…he will cum around. :o…come around! OOPS!
Too soon and she will think you are a needy, insecure, nut. Wait too long and she will think that it isn’t going to happen and will begin to look on to something else.
You’ll know when the time is right.
Incidentally, the most memorable time I heard a guy tell me for the first time was when he was holding my hair as I puked. I was pregnant with my last child and had morning sickness almost constantly. He was not the father, but a good friend who was giving me a lot of mental support after I had made the decision to cut the father out of my life and raise the baby alone (another thread).
Anyway, there I was puking my brains out, mascara running down my face, looking like shit while he held my hair. He then wiped off my forehead with a cold washrag, suddenly got the strangest look on his face, and blurted out “God, I love you.”
It was at that exact moment that I knew I was in love with him as well.
A year and a half later the military moved him 2400 miles away, and although we have our own lives, we are still very much in love. We speak daily and see each other a few times each year. Saying “I love you” still comes very natural for us.
Trust me, you will know when it is real and saying it will just come naturally.
It’s the lust shit that gets confusing and hard to decipher.
Wonko, sorry I lost this post in the midst of things.
My husband and I have been married 8 years. 8 very happy, very fulfilling years with a marriage that gets better every day. We dated 1 month when he asked me to marry him. Go with you gut but just remember that saying I love you really, in the long run, doesn’t mean everything; it’s what you do to show that love that counts.
Good luck, my friend, and I wish you much happiness!
Kel, well at least you know he has done it in the past. God, what a thing for a woman to give up! Nothing else quite like it, eh?
I agree with the other poster (too lazy to look up name); give him time, tell him how important it is to you (not while you’re in bed together!), let him know how much it would mean to you. Maybe do it in the shower-little “cleaner” atmosphere for him? Everything’s psychological!
Wonko–
I think that you should tell her you love her, because there might be that slight possibility that she loves you too…she might be scared to tell you (just like I am sure you have your doubts too). I say romance her, send her flowers, buy her candy…little gifts that say I love you, without saying I love you. Don’t take the words for granted. Say it if you mean it. Say it if you feel it. And I am sure that she won’t be scared away…(hey you say she asked you out? I don’t think she is going anywhere)
