Family- can we cool it with the burping?

[Belowjob2.0]

@Una_Persson

One of my (now deceased) grandfathers would let loose the most outrageously large and horrifying farts, very frequently, in a house which was much too small. OK, sure, maybe he had a digestive ailment, I can’t blame him for that. But the carrying on and dramatics which followed each foghorn-like blast were not funny at all. It was similar to the OP’s experience: “Riiiiiiiiiiiiip!” “Whoa! That was a good one! Must be those carpet frogs! Whooooooooooeeeeee! Smell that? Isn’t that something? Makes my eyes water, and I’m the one that did it!” What’s worse is my grandmother would join in: “Better check your underwear! What did you eat, because that’s not from MY cooking!” and innumerable variations on that theme.

They were so bad that after two or three of them, even the dog would get up with a whine and leave the room. To quote SNL, on bad nights the house smelled like a sumo wrestler took a dump on a burning tire. Going outside was worse, because after smelling the fresh air, you’d try to enter the house and hit this wall of miasma which was palpable in character.

This is hilarious. Gross, but hilarious.

[elmwood]

@Katriona

As a Gen-Xer, I feel like I should be offended, but I’ll just say that you have much to learn from us.

That’s okay. I’m an Atari-era Generation Xer. You youngins have much to learn from us and our rich culture. I recommend you start here.

[Indygrrl]

It’s funny to me that some people think you must be uptight or repressed if you don’t burp and fart constantly and loudly, as if anything besides freely letting them rip is a terrible burden. It’s really not that difficult.

[Cicero]

@Indygrrl

It’s funny to me that some people think you must be uptight or repressed if you don’t burp and fart constantly and loudly, as if anything besides freely letting them rip is a terrible burden. It’s really not that difficult.

Says who?

[Katriona]

@elmwood

That’s okay. I’m an Atari-era Generation Xer. You youngins have much to learn from us and our rich culture. I recommend you start here.

Piffle. I was the Ms. Pacman Champion, and I made people call me Muffy the year I was 13.

[Cheshire_Human]

To all the advocates in this thread of free-fire farting: All I can reply to that idea is to repeat the words of wisdom passed on to me by my friend in the 5th grade.

“Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it.”

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

even sven, don’t look down your nose at him because he burps.

Pick it and flick it at him. Shout, “Score!” or “That green’s a dream!” or any other self-congratulatory hot-snot exclamation. Let him know that he’s not the only talented one.