Met a guy that lived across the country, we fell in love, dated long distance for a few years, then I decided to move 3000 miles to be with him. I left behind a bunch of really good friends, and a sister and her family with whom I am very close. As the years have gone by, I’ve gotten more and more sad when I visit home and then have to leave those that I love. I feel like I’m missing out on their lives, and especially the ability to be there with my young nieces/nephews as they grow.
I’ve decided to not have kids, so my nieces/nephews are especially precious to me, and I want to be close with them throughout their lives. My own extended family relationships growing up were nonexistent. I never became close with any of my aunts/uncles/cousins, while I watched friends have wonderful closeness with their extended families, so I feel a strong desire to foster a relationship with my nieces/nephews so that they’ll have a more whole family than I did.
I visit several times per year, but it just doesn’t feel like enough.
I love my boyfriend very much and I have a good life with him, but I worry that choosing this relationship with him over a closer relationship with my family could turn out to be a huge regret for me after my nieces/nephews are grown.
Did I think about any of this when deciding to move 3000 miles away? No. I didn’t realize the value of the relationships I had with friends/family until I left them. I lived in the same area all my life and had no idea what it would really mean to be that far away FOREVER.
Boyfriend won’t relocate, so that would never be an option.
Would ending a good relationship with him, however heartbreaking that would be, be worth it so that I could have a better lifelong relationship with my family?