Favorite Board One-Liners or Exchanges

[Pixisis]

and then

@AskNott

Alas, that’s only the beginning. After you get your goat back, you have a squid with long stout sticks. That can be a bigger problem than a captured goat.

However, greek farmers have made some splendid tangy cheese from goat’s milk infused with squid ink. It’s black, it’s buttery, and it has quite a kick!

[Anaamika]

Jodi, thank you! When I posted that I was in a hurry and couldn’t search for the thread. Yes, that was beautiful.

I like the squid/goat thing. Especially the ringer - "

Pretty much whenever you have goats and squids together.

[Annie-Xmas]

@Lord Il Palazzo

I really like the exchange in How do I keep IE from automatically chenging the text size?.

It has to be one of the best mod responses ever.

Also further down, when the OP makes the type banhattan

[A.I.Wintermute]

@Amaranta

The first time I saw the phrase “We’ve secretly replaced [poster x]'s Cheerios with crack cocaine. Let’s see if he notices” made me laugh and giggle and then giggle at random moments throughout the day. It was in response to a particularly random crazy outburst, and the timing was just perfect, and it was the first time I’d seen it on a message board.

Ditto. I’m not sure if this was the one you meant, but this is the one I thought of:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6678045

[Dunderman]

thelurkinghorror’s post in this thread has had me laughing for days, literally.

Chronos: There was an example of this in the Series of Unfortunate Events movie (presumably also in the book, but I haven’t read that one). A charater known for her impeckable spelling left a seeminly-innocuous note for the children, but with mispellings scattered through it. The letters involved in the misspellings speeled out a secret mesage.
thelurkinghorror: CKGSES? I knew it!

[Maastricht]

Four posts down in this thread, **King of Soup ** starts defending the rights of free range melons. Passionately.

[Eve]

I swear I did not start this thread about tiny little cows just to make this wisecrack, but I eventually decided to call my tiny cow ranch the Billy Bar-T, of which I am still very proud.

[Manatee]

Eve’s take on WB’s funeral is still my #1.

Cervaise’s “brewcifix” is #2.

[Annie-Xmas]

I’m glad I was alone and not eating or drinking when I read this Snakes on a Plane thread

[gigi]

So, over here, CalMeacham says, “A neighbor told me that the scroll over Jesus’ head on the crucifix – INRI – stood for “I’m Nailed Right In”. It was a joke, of course – most people (including him, I;m sure) don’t know the real meaning, because they never tell you. Unfortunately, when he started the joke by asking me what it stood for, I ruined it, because I did – “Iesu Nazoreorum Rex Iudeorum” – “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews””

So I say “You shouldn’t have written that.” After John 19*, and the right next response would have been, “What he has written, he has written.” Where’s the Gospel-referential love, people?

*<Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross. It read, “Jesus the Nazorean, the King of the Jews.” Now many of the Jews read this inscription, because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek. So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, "You should not have written, ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews. Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.” >

[Kyla]

All of the ridiculous hypothetical situations in this thread crack me up. Best GD thread…ever. I think it’s Bryan Ekers’ post about a bus full of Nobel Peace Prize winners and AIDS researchers that really begins to drive the thread completely off the rails.

[CalMeacham]

So, over here, CalMeacham says, “A neighbor told me that the scroll over Jesus’ head on the crucifix – INRI – stood for “I’m Nailed Right In”. It was a joke, of course – most people (including him, I;m sure) don’t know the real meaning, because they never tell you. Unfortunately, when he started the joke by asking me what it stood for, I ruined it, because I did – “Iesu Nazoreorum Rex Iudeorum” – “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews””

So I say “You shouldn’t have written that.” After John 19*, and the right next response would have been, “What he has written, he has written.” Where’s the Gospel-referential love, people?

*<Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross. It read, “Jesus the Nazorean, the King of the Jews.” Now many of the Jews read this inscription, because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek. So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, "You should not have written, ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews. Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.” >

Ah – I’m dense. I couldn’t for the life of me understand your response. Even now, I don’t think I’d have linked it to John 19 without some clue.
In one of my books a NT scholar cites that line in response to some ogf his critics. He didn’t think he had to make any revisions.

[gigi]

@CalMeacham

Ah – I’m dense. I couldn’t for the life of me understand your response. Even now, I don’t think I’d have linked it to John 19 without some clue.

Whew…I’m glad I put a smilie because without it, and without the reference, it would have sounded pretty harsh!

[Gangster_Octopus]

Well I started this thread, but it is really my fellow dopers who turn it into a giggle and groan fest.

[Annie-Xmas]

@Gangster Octopus

Well I started this thread, but it is really my fellow dopers who turn it into a giggle and groan fest.

I can’t read that thread without bringing up Halvsie, the two legged dog.

[Q.E.D]

@Cajun Man

“What’s your favorite …?” threads belong in IMHO.

I’ll move this for you.

Nah, I’ve heard much funnier one-liners.

[Podkayne]

Thanks for the mention, KSO. Made my day.

I opened the thread titled What can we ask of ourself? hoping to get the dig in myself, but Beadalin’s response is the soul of wit:

@Beadalin

“Self, are we singular or plural?”

[Giraffe]

@Kyla

All of the ridiculous hypothetical situations in this thread crack me up. Best GD thread…ever. I think it’s Bryan Ekers’ post about a bus full of Nobel Peace Prize winners and AIDS researchers that really begins to drive the thread completely off the rails.

Oh man, I’d forgotten all about that thread. What a hoot. Bryan was brilliant throughout, although the two posts that made me laugh the most uncontrollably are from pravnik and Hamlet:

@pravnik

Would I shoot my child if he was trapped in a burning car?

Well, I wouldn’t shoot him right away. I’d fire a warning shot first, just to let him know I was serious. Then, if it absolutely couldn’t be helped, I’d try to shoot him in the leg or something, just to disable him long enough for me to get away.

@SlyFrog

Kel Varnsen - Latex Division, I feel sorry for you. I hate it when people can’t just take the damn hypothetical as written and either answer it or not. We get it, it couldn’t happen, it shouldn’t happen, it’s sick, it’s unfair, it’s too limited, blah blah blah. If you don’t want to participate in the author’s question, just move on. When you get a math problem in high school, I hope to god you didn’t sit there babbling, “There’s no way that he would mix a 40% solution of chemical A with a 30% solution of chemical B.”

@Hamlet

What if chemical A was acid glue and chemical B was Hitler? What then?

Hi-larious!

[Jodi]

Well, this thread was worth it for me just to read “INRI = ‘I’m nailed right in’” which is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Guess I have to go to both early and late church services this Sunday, though.

[Beadalin]

Hey thanks, Podkayne!