One of the most hateful lines that Hermes has had, and really, hermes is at his best when he shows his hateful side is the one where Bender joins the robot mafia. Leela gets temporarily blinded. So she tries to fly the ship. We see it take off and crash through the opening ceiling because she didn’t wait until it was fully open. Then cut to a scene where Hermes and Zoidberg are sitting at the round table with the hole in the background. Hermes delivers this classic line:
“That’s coming out of YOUR pay!”
Then a despondent Zoidberg bawls into his claws.
It’s so hilarious, because Zoidberg has absolutely nothing to do with it.
Listening to the commentary the writers said something like, "It became so much better after we established the fact that some characters didn’t like the others. Hermes HATES Zoidberg.
From that episode when they are trapped in the ship at the bottom of the sea “The Deep South”
Bender: Tempers are wearing thin! Let’s just hope some robot doesn’t go crazy and kill everybody!"
Hermes: Everybody stay calm, there are rulebooks for such situations holds up a book “Survivors Guide to Canibalsim” First order of business is lunch! I suggest a nice Lobster Zoidberg…I mean Newberg, I mean Doctor Zoidberg"
I love it because you think they were using the typical, freudian-slip based comedy that is a bit tired, and turn it around because Hermes had every intention to suggest that they eat Dr. Zoidberg as a matter of course.
Fry: Try shocking him!
Bender: Your social security check is late! Stuff costs more than it used to! Young people use curse words! [no response]
Fry: Damnit! We’ll have to fix the engine ourselves!
Leela: We can’t, you bastard!
“You’ll be the most unpopular robot fighter since Sergeant feces processor!”
Fry: “I don’t like discs crammed in me, unless they’re Oreos, and then only in the mouth.”
Hermes? “Shove it wherever your species traditionally shoves it.”
Guard at Sluurm cave: “I don’t miss twice campers!”
When Leila finds out that Al is a shapeshifting grasshopper she says “If you can change your body, why didn’t you change it in the one place that counts?” Everyone says “Ooooooh!” and then 2 seconds later Prof Farnsworth says “Woooooh!”
Head of the Robot Mafia: What’s that scab doin’ flashin’ his wad around? That money should be kicks in my back and slushing my fund.
Crazy Old Woman: I only have one share of Planet Kerjigger, but I move that we elect a new CEO in place of the cat-hater! Also that my cat smells nice and is pretty.
Professor Farnsworth, swirling to his death: With my last breath, I curse ZOIDBERG!
Just that he uses his last moments to take a dig at Zoidberg.
Servant of the Pharaoh: We learned many things from the Egyptians, such as how to prepare our dead so they could scare Abbot and Costello.
Fry: Heh heh! …also Wolfman.
And one that makes me laugh every time, from “The Sting”:
Something I used when telling my friends I was considering joining the Army:
“There is no obligation unless of course war were declared.” alarm sounds
“What’s that?”
“War were declared.”
Just the dead-pan verb tense is priceless, not to mention the entire scheme of wanting to join the military for the 10% off cards.
Zoidberg: They said I shouldn’t have become a doctor,
Farnsworth: They poo-pooed my electric frankfurter,
Leela: They said I shouldn’t fly with just one eye,
Bender: I am Bender. Please insert girder.
