Lrrr, watching Stupid Age television shows:
Why doesn’t Ross, the largest Friend, simply eat the other five?
Bender and God have this discussion after Bender does a disastrous stint as God:
God: Bender, being God isn’t easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.
Bender: Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money.
God: Yes, if he makes it look like an electrical thing. If you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.
And from my other big favourite, Bendin’ in the Wind:
[looking over an old Hippy Volkswagen bus]
Amy Wong: This speedometer only goes up to 80. This machine can only go as fast as 80,000 miles an hour?
Fry: Nope. But it has a driver’s side floor and an eight-track with genuine mono sound.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: But where’s the device to speed up or slow the passage of time?
Fry: [Pulls out a bong] Under the seat.
to mobo85
Lrrr: ugh! This is a Joey-heavy episode anyway
Also, don’t forget
And dude! The “NONE LIKE IT HOT!” film was so wrong! The little girl asks: So what can we do to stop the greenhouse gasses?
Announcer guy: Luckly our handsomest politicians came up with a cheap-last minute solution!
Then she mentions: Just like daddy puts in his glass every morning…The he gets mad…
He’s being abusive to her when he says: ONCE AND FOR ALL! after she just mentions she’s got an alcoholic abusive father! So wrong and yet so right!
Perhaps they are saving that for Sweeps.
Dunno if any of you computer geeks noticed this, but in the episode where Bender inherits an old mansion from his dead robot relatives, there’s an old-timey portrait on the wall of a distinguished looking robot and the title:
**
Commodore LXIV**
Get it? 
That entire episode was great. My favorite exchange:
Leela: Femputer, be reasonable. Sure men are annoying and they wreck up whatever planet they’re in charge of. But most of these men are sorta my friends. They don’t deserve to die.
Femputer: Hmm. Perhaps men are not as evil as Femputer thinks.
Thog: But they make fun women’s basketball.
Femputer: What?! Did you explain how the women’s good fundamentals make up for their inability to dunk?
Ornik: Yes. They still laugh.
Femputer: The men must die.
It’s Bea Arthur’s outrage that really sells the line…
The diploma that he’s waving is from my college.
Evergreen State College?
“I demand to know what happened to the plucky lawyer and her compellingly short garment!”
Bender:
“Your best is an idiot. Let’s pick it up, people. So far it’s been crap after crap! I croaked, now show me some love!”
Seriously, Merkwurdigliebe, I love you for bringing up this thread. I had to flip through a few episodes last evening in pure nostalgia.
Heres a quote for you:
“Come on, guys. Merkwurdigliebe’s countin’ on us. Work faster, like this. [Bender pushes a quote up the side of the tomb and the guard runs after him, whipping as he goes. He stops to catch his breath.] You call that motivating me? Don’t just whip with your arms. The power comes from your hips. Like this.” [Bender takes the whip and whips himself. The rest of the slaves arrive with the quotes.]
Taber took my favorite.
I also really like:
Neutral Vice President: Your Neutralness, it’s a beige alert.
Neutral President: If I don’t survive, tell my wife “Hello.”
From the “Anthology of Interest” episode, when they need a giant monster to combat the giant robot Bender:
Dr. Zoidberg: Friends, help! A guinea pig tricked me!
Bender and Leela debating robots in blernsball:
“He was a hitting machine!”
“Exactly. He was a machine designed to hit blernsballs.”
“Oh, and you’re probably going to say that Pitcherbot was just a modified howitzer.”
“Exactly.”
Another one for you guys…
In the episode “Mother’s Day” Fry tries to explain the concept of a “wheel” to them.
Farnsworth: Show us, this…“the wheel.”
Fry: It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched tv. But then the winter came and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns! And also, he got a racecar! Is any of this getting through to you?
Fortune Teller: Look, you what false hope or not?
Bender: And I think I saw a 2!
Kissinger: “We have seen enough body bags and ball sacks.”
“That’s the worst coma acting I’ve ever seen!”
There is just something about the way they get everybody to deliver so many stupid lines with such seriousness it cracks me up.
Bender: “Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree!”
Farnsworth: “But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.”
This one will never not be brilliant.
I hope I get this right.
Jack Johnson: I say, my opponent’s 5 cent Titanium tax goes too far.
John Jackson: And I say, my opponent’s 5 cent Titanium tax doesn’t go too far enough.
Hermes: Sorry, I spent all day putting my office in order. Now I got to go home and relax the traditional Jamaican way: A glass of warm milk and good night sleep.
Fry: Jamaican? I thought you were some kinda outer-space potato man.