Mel Brook’s Young Frankenstein:
“Put ze candle…BACK!”
Smith’s Clerks:
Dante (IIRC): “Hey, there any balls down there?”
Guy on ground: “Biggest pair you ever seen!”
Smith’s Mallrats:
“I LOVE the smell of commerce in the morning!”
David Lynch’s Dune:
“Even my name is a killing word.” fucking excellent line for video game intimidation! 
Damn, I think I’m going to go watch Clerks right now…
Dean Wermer, Animal House:
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
From Oh Brother, Where Art Thou:
“Lots of respectable people get run over by railroad trains.”
“You mean you traded away your everlasting soul?”
“I wasn’t using it.”
“Dumb as a bag of hammers.”
Alright people, this thread is great lines from movies that are not the great lines. Stuff like “I don’t got to show you no stinking badges” just doesn’t count.
My favorite movie is Casablanca too. (The great lines are “You know Louis, I have a feeling this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship” and “Play it Sam”)
“I’ve got this pointed right at your heart.” “That is my least vulnerable spot.”
“The problems of three people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.”
“Here’s looking at you kid.” (Almost too famous to qualify.)
“Of all the gin joints in all the world, why did she have to walk into mine?”
“It seems that as long as I have those letters of transit, I’ll never be lonely.”
“Are my eyes really Brown?”
And now for the Godfather:
“Today the Corleone family takes care of all its outstanding business.”
“I know it was you Fredo, you broke my heart.” Godfather II
“I don’t need to wipe everyone out Tom, just my enemies.” II
“My name is Antonio Andolini, and this is for you!”
“What I didn’t know till tonight that it was Barsini all along.”
“Leave the gun, take the canoli.”
OK, I’ll play. I just love that '40’s style hardboiled dialogue.
The Maltese Falcon:
Sam Spade: We didn’t believe your story, Mrs. O’Shaughnessy, we believed your 200 dollars. I mean you paid us more than if you had been telling us the truth, and enough more to make it alright.
Spade: When you’re slapped, you’ll take it and like it.
Kasper Gutman: I distrust a man who says “when.” If he’s got to be careful not to drink too much, it’s because he’s not to be trusted when he does.
The Big Sleep has bunch of corkers:
Philip Marlowe: I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings. (Had this as my sig line in a previous life)
Marlowe: My, my, my. Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains!
Norris: Are you attempting to tell me my duties, sir?
Marlowe: No, just having fun trying to guess what they are.
Then there’s Miller’s Crossing:
Verna: What’re you chewin’ over?
Tom Reagan: Dream I had once. I was walkin’ in the woods, I don’t know why. Wind came up and blew me hat off.
Verna: And you chased it, right? You ran and ran, finally caught up to it and you picked it up. But it wasn’t a hat anymore and it changed into something else, something wonderful.
Reagan: Nah, it stayed a hat and no, I didn’t chase it. Nothing more foolish than a man chasin’ his hat.
Reagan: All in all not a bad guy - if looks, brains and personality don’t count.
Eddie Dane: How’d you get the fat lip?
Reagan: Old war welt. Acts up around morons.
Dane: You are so goddamn smart. Except you ain’t.
Finally, Guy Ritchie does a wonderfully British style of this patter in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking barrels:
Eddy: They’re armed.
Soap: Armed, armed with what?
Eddie: Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather dusters… what do you think they’re gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!
Rory Breaker: If you hold back anything, I’ll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I’ll kill ya. If you forget anything I’ll kill ya. In fact, you’re gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I’ve said? Because if you don’t, I’ll kill ya.
Nick the Greek: Dunno. Seems expensive.
Tom: Seems? Seems? Well, this seems to be a complete waste of my time. That, my friend, is 900 nicker in any store you’re lucky enough to find one in. And you’re haggling over 200 pound? What school of finance did you come from, Nick? It’s a deal, it’s a steal, it’s the Sale of the fucking Century! In fact, fuck it Nick, I think I’ll keep it!
Hatchet Harry: You must be Eddie, J.D.'s son.
Eddie: Yeah. You must be Harry. Sorry, didn’t know your father.
Hatchet Harry: Never mind son, you just might meet him if you carry on like that.
need more rules:
no monty python - its all lines
“oh I sit up at night and dream of being spat on it the face”
no buckaroo bonzai - its all lines
“you are the weakess individual I have ever knowd”
“its not my goddamn planet monkey boy”
“laugh while you can monkey boy”
" is it over or do we nuke russia? was that yes on 1 and no on 2?"
I’m kinda stuck watching kid videos, so they stick in my mind the most.
[ul]
[li]Rex (trying to piece together what he knows about Woody’s kidnapping), Toy Story 2: “How do you spell FBI?”[/li][li]Brain Pod 13 (after being yelled at by Evil Emperor Zurg), Buzz Lightyear: (soto voce) “Kind of an outdoor voice there.”[/li]
[/ul]
I alluded to a couple of the Casablanca quotes earlier, but i forgot to add this one:
Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Renault: I’m shocked! Shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
Emil: Your winnings sir.
Renault: Oh, thank you very much.
“I need him like the axe needs the turkey.” - Barbara Stanwyck in The Lady Eve
PS=Octothorpe, I love that line from Casablanca.
“You’ll find I mean business!”
“Oh, really? Then why are you wearing that hat?” -Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
“Personally, Veda’s convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.” -Mildred Pierce
Alright, alright… This Is Spinal Tap is all lines, but I can’t resist:
“I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.”
OK - I’ll play.
I guess “the” line from Chinatown is “she’s my sister and my daughter!” but the one that I love is when Jake says to Evelyn Mulwray, “Look. You sue me. Your husband dies. You drop the lawsuit like a hot potato all of it quicker than the wind from a duck’s ass.”
Tombstone- " Ya annoying sunsabitches, Its like I’m sitting here playing cards with my brothers kids or something."
Shawshank- “I aint gonna count to three, not even to one, you will shut the fuck up or I will sing you a lullaby.” and “Fuckin’-A. I don’t need no smart wife-killin’ banker to show me where the bear shit in the buckwheat.”
Unforgiven- “I’m comin’ outta here… an’ any fucker I see out there, I’m gonna kill him… an’ any fucker takes a shot at me, I ain’t just gonna kill him, but I’m gonna kill his wife an’ all his friends… an’ burn his fucking house, hear?”
D: “This drug has voodoo qualities. It’s called The Embalmer.”
W: “Balls! I’ll take two of them and run a mile!”
D: “Very dangerous words, mate.”
Drunk: “WHAT’S YOUR NAME, McFUCK? I’M CALLING HIM A PONCE, AND I’M CALLING YOU ONE, TOO! PONCE!!”
W: “Are you referring to my fr… my acquaintance, here?”
I: “Wake up! Wake up, you bloody bastard, or I’ll burn this bloody bed down!”
W: [groggily] “I deny all accusations…”
I: “I have just narrowly avoided a buggery, and I’ve come up here with the express intent of wishing one upon you…”
"Withnail & I," the Rosetta Stone of scabrous humorWallace and Gromit: (Wallace) “Well, that worked about as well as can be expected!”
Braveheart (Stephen): “At last, our noble saviours have arrived!”
The Right Stuff (Gus Grissom to Gordon Cooper, several times): “Fuckin’-A, Bubba.”
Conan the Barbarian: (prostitute/fortune teller) “A pittance to protect you from evil?” (Subotai): “But I am evil!”
Star Wars: (Han Solo)“Uhhh…had a slight weapons malfunction but everything’s fine here, we’re all fine here now…Uhh…how are you?” (voice) “We’re sending someone down” (Han) “Uhh…negative, negative, we’ve got a reactor leak, very big leak, very dangerous!” (voice) “Who is this? What’s your operating number?” (Han shoots the intercom) “Boring conversation anyway…LUKE! WE’RE GONNA HAVE COMPANY!”
Willie Wonka “not much time and so little to do,wait, switch that around”
Terminator II. boy “how do you know he will go to the house?” arnold “because that’s what I would do”
Bridge over the River Kwi . william Holden talking to the new ranking officer Guiness “thats where the limeys, errr, british officers were”
I know Dolly Parton had a few good lines in 9 to 5, but one of my favs is when she says something like, “I can turn you from a rooster to a hen in one shot!” I know that’s not an exact quote though.
I also love 2001, A Space Odyssey. From that one:
“Open the pod bay door, Hal.”
More throwaway lines from Casablanca:
Rick: They got a break. Yesterday they were just two German clerks; today they’re the Honored Dead.
Ugarte: You will forgive me for saying this, M’sieur Rick, but you are a very cynical person.
Rick: I forgive you.
Rick: I don’t mind a parasite. I object to a cut-rate one.
Yvonne: Where were you last night?
Rick: That’s so long ago, I don’t remember.
Yvonne: Will I see you tonight?
Rick: I never plan that far ahead.
Renaud: I have often speculated on why you do not return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Did you run off with a senator’s wife? I should like to think you killed a man. It is the romantic in me.
Rick: It was a combination of all three.
Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I’m a drunkard.
Renaud: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.
Rick: Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine!
Rick: I’ve heard a lot of stories in my time. They went along with the sounds of a tinny piano in the parlor downstairs. ‘Mister, I met a man when I was just a kid,’ they’d always begin.
Annina: What sort of man is Captain Renaud?
Rick: Like any other man…only more so.
Rick: …and remember–I’ve got this gun pointed at your heart.
Renault: That is my least vulnerable spot.
“I’ve quit better jobs than this.”
“Jeanine, I’m sure someone with your obvious qualifications could find a rewarding career in either the food services or cleaning industries.”
“You’re right. No human would stack books this way.”
“Picking up or dropping off?”
“Nimble little minx, ain’t she?”
“Let’s split up.” “Good idea, we can do more damage that way.”
All from Ghostbusters.
[swoon]
One of my all-time favorite movie speeches. It goes:
Another great quote from that film:
It’s one of Doralee’s repeated lines, and I just love the way she says it every time.
Val Kilmer has got to be one of Hollyweird’s most undervalued properties, particularly in his ability to deliver backhanded lines. I mean, he just owned Tombstone:
“It seems poker’s just not your game, Ike. I know: let’s have a spelling contest!”
“It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds.”
(someone asks him where Wyatt is:)
“Down by the creek, walking on water.”
Top Secret:
“I’m not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover whom she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French Underground.”
Willow:
" ‘I love you Sorsha?’ I don’t love her, she kicked me in the face! I hate her… Don’t I?"
Plus, just about the only decent line from the sub-lustrious Red Planet:
“Well, here it is: that day they told us about in high school when math would save our lives.”