Favorite math-related jokes

[Derleth]

@Mangetout

Mathematician: “nonsense! I counted them myself - see? zero, one, two, three, four!”

Not a mathematician, but a programmer. Only someone used to arrays would count that way, and even that is somewhat language-specific.

[quelquechose]

e[sup]x[/sup] and a constant are walking down the street when they see a differentiation operator come around the corner. The constant runs away in terror, but e[sup]x[/sup] stands his ground. He approaches the differentiation operator and introduces himself, “Hi, I’m e[sup]x[/sup].” The differentiation operator responds, “I’m d/dy.”

[Booker57]

Why is Halloween like Christmas?

OCT 31 = DEC 25

I like it.

[Constipated_Mathematician]

Because I started this thread, I’ll type out the joke as I’ve heard it (and the best I can remember it)…

An Indian chief was speaking to his Medicine Man about choosing another wife. He asked the Medicine Man to pick three women from the tribe and bring them into his tent for his selection. After looking at the women, the chief couldn’t decide. So he asked the Medicine Man for an idea to help him choose. The Medicine Man suggested that each woman go out and hunt down an animal, and bring its hide back to the tent. Perhaps this test would help the chief decide. The chief, not sure why, agreed to the test.

The first squaw brought the hide of a bear and sat down on it in front of the chief. The second brought the hide of a bull and sat down on it. The third brought the hide of a hippo (don’t ask) and sat down on it.

The chief immediately picked the squaw on the hippo hide. The room was cleared and the medicine man was perplexed. He said to the chief “why did you pick that one?” The chief looked at the medicine man and said, "You should know this! This was your test! Everyone knows the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides!”

[Achren]

@catsix

To be accurate, this isn’t localhost, the home IP. You should be using 127.0.0.1. Otherwise I’m going ‘Uh, no place like an IP address in the class C private range?’
Yes, I realize I’m a total nerd for nitpicking an IP address joke.

I was going to post and say something along the lines of “I didn’t know, I got my joke from ThinkGeek.” :smack:
I could swear my mind used to work!

[TJdude825]

@Yeeter

Okay, a mathematician, an engineer and an accountant are asked, “What is 2 and 2?”

The mathematician replies, “I can tell you the answer, but first we must define ‘2’ and ‘and.’”

The engineer says, “I can tell you the answer, but how are we going to apply this?”

The accountant looks around the room and whispers, “What do you want it to be?”

I like the outdated original version better. The engineer pulls out a slide rule, and after a few seconds, says, “Just about 4.000”

[Mangetout]

@Derleth

Not a mathematician, but a programmer. Only someone used to arrays would count that way, and even that is somewhat language-specific.

Ah. Ya got me there.

[MartinL]

A physicist explains to a shepherd that he will need less metarial for a fence to contain the same number of sheep if he makes a round fence instead of a square one. A mathematician comes along and contradicts: “The best shape is a triangle. See!” He builds a very small triangular fence, steps inside, and proclaims: “I define myself to be outside the fence!”

[RTFirefly]

@Derleth

@Mangetout

Mathematician: “nonsense! I counted them myself - see? zero, one, two, three, four!”

Not a mathematician, but a programmer. Only someone used to arrays would count that way, and even that is somewhat language-specific.

Someone doing ordinal arithmetic would count that way:

Any ordinal is defined by the set of ordinals that precede it: in fact, the most common definition of ordinals identifies each ordinal as the set of ordinals that precede it. For example, the ordinal 42 is the order type of the ordinals less than it, i.e., the ordinals from 0 (the smallest of all ordinals) to 41 (the immediate predecessor of 42), and it is generally identified as the set {0,1,2,…,41}.

[Thudlow_Boink]

@Derleth

Not a mathematician, but a programmer. Only someone used to arrays would count that way, and even that is somewhat language-specific.

“We are computer scientists now, so we start counting at zero.” —one of my C.S. profs

“…you’ll notice there’s a Chapter 0, which I’ve omitted altogether. That’s because I’m not a computer scientist, so I begin counting at 1.” —one of my Algebra (i.e. group theory etc.) profs

“0 and 1 are more or less the same thing anyway.” —my Algebraic Topology prof

[Yeticus_Rex]

What is a mathematician’s favorite song?

“Take It To The Limit” by The Eagles