“Bye Bye Love” by The Cars
I actually thought the lyric was “fuckin’ alibi” instead of “broken lullaby” for a long time.
Elton John tried to come out in his songs, I guess:
“Don’t let your son go down on me” and
“Hold me closer, Tony Danza”
I used to like that JD Souther song, “When You’re Old and Moldy.”
Always heard it as “too rich for charity” (which doesn’t make much sense)
McCartney, Band on the Run:
Thought of giving it all away.
To a registered charity
Anything by Credence Clearwater Revival. Hell, anything at all ever sung by John Fogerty.
In fairness, though, just look at this REAL verse for Down on the Corner
For the record, I still can’t understand all the lyrics to Marvin Gaye’s Life’s a Game of Give and Take.
I can admit understanding
What am I to blame?
Worrying 'bout your business
See you on your way
Living as a witness
See me on my way
Though to be fair, I don’t think the lyrics for that song have ever been given as it was unreleased.
I used to hear it that way, too. Then I found out that it’s “I won’t hesitate no more.” That always amuses me, since he’s hesitating after every syllable: " I… won’t… he… si… tate… no… more… No… more… It… can… not… wait… I’m… yours."
I got woo-mama-naybas
Dixie cups
All flavors and push-ups too
Van Halen - “Ice Cream Man”
Don’t you love farts?
My fart I fear.
I fear that you smelt what I dealt.
Sorry, my dear.
Some of the misheard lyrics are better than the real ones. The Dylan one especially.
I sort-of think Hendrix really was singing “kiss this guy”. He’s actin’ “funny” after all (not funny ha-ha but the other one). But, at the time he wasn’t ready to be that radical, so he backpedaled.
Cream’s Sunshine of Your Love is better with “dull surprise” rather than the correct “dawn surprise” (you mean, it’s just a sex reference? Bore-Ring!)
I never heard this song this way, but I read someone thought “Jump Jive and Wail” was “drunk drive and wail”. Now I can’t not hear it that way.
Arthur Conley did a “tribute song” called Sweet Soul Music in which he calls out famous R&B singers with “Spotlight on . . .” The singers are Wilson Pickett, Otis Redding, James Brown . . . and for many years, I thought, Sammy Davis.
Which seemed odd. Sammy didn’t belong with the others. He was better known for show tunes and lighter fare.
But what the heck, I thought. I don’t know his entire ouevre. No doubt he dabbled in soul.
Finally, after about 30 years, it hit me . . . the reference was not to Sammy Davis, but to Sam & Dave, performers of Soul Man and Hold On, I’m Coming. Sorry, Sammy–no spotlight for you!
When the song was new, I heard that last line as “And when he goes into a dance, the devil’s on the loose.”
Yep. Me too. And speaking of the devil, in “Tenth Avenue Freeze Out,” I always though it was “dev-devil you can faze out.” Whatever the hell that means.
Everytime The Police sang:
Are spirits in the material world
Are spirits in the material world
Are spirits in the material world
I heard
I Stare into my Cheerios
I Stare into my Cheerios
I Stare into my Cheerios
From “Summer in Siam” by the Pogues, I always heard the opening lines as:
The actual lyric is:
My version makes more sense. 
My two (the second of which I thought were the actual lyrics up until about a year ago):
“Don’t give us none of your aggravation,
We’ve had it with your Death Star plans.” (Elton John, “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting”) (“just start playin’”)
“Just like a one-winged dove…” (Fleetwood Mac, “Edge of Seventeen”) (“white-winged dove”)
I always pictured the poor dove flying in circles because it only had one wing…
Van Halen’s Runnin’ With the Devil - I thought was a song about war.
“I got no love, no love in Korea. I got nobody waiting at home.”
Actually says " I got no love, no love to call real…"
Paul Simon’s Kodachrome - I thought said, “Mama’s gonna take my combs an’ throw 'em all away.”
Actually says , “Moma’s gonna take my Kodachrome away.”
I found out while watching the movie Lost in Translation that my lyrics were wrong in the song Baby You’re the Best by Carly Simon.
My version: “Nobody does it, heaven’s caress you, baby you’re the best.”
Actually says, “Nobody does it, half as good as you, baby you’re the best.”
“We’ve had it with your discipline.”
Dang, I thought to this moment that it was Leslie.
It took me years to realize that this Grass Roots song was not called “Plantation Eyes”.
Mrs. J. just informed me that she once thought a certain Creedence song went “There’s a bathroom on the right”.