I always heard, “Count the head lice on the highway”
Remember that terrible song “I wanna Sex You Up”?
I always heard it as “I’m Homosexual” Which explains why it’s such a clumsy attempt at seduction.
Oh, of course. My mistake–I knew that! 
For well over a decade I thought the Beatles tune Paperback Writer was Take the back right turn.
So what is the name of this song? Anyone know??? Thanks!
“I’d Really Love to See You Tonight” by England Dan & John Ford Coley.
The name of the song would have given it away for me. 
I thought that in Oasis’ song “Champagne Supernova” the lyrics went:
Where were you while we were getting high? Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide in a champagne supernova in the sky…cause you and I will never die…
It actually went:
“cause you and I will live and die”
I prefer my mistaken lyrics a bit better 
La - a note to follow so
Ti - a drink with German bread
After a liftetime of wondering what German bread was made of, my 10-y.o. daughter got a part in the school play and sang this song a bazillion times. Hearing her was the first time I heard the correct words.
In *The Big Bang Theory *theme song:
For the longest time I couldn’t figure out “Neanderthals developed toes.” It finally occurred to me that they developed TOOLS.
I attempted to sing this song in the karaoke room of a con a few years ago. The screen with the lyrics showed the line “Tell 'em we’re survivors” as “tell them where’s the Bible.”
I thought I had a mondegreen, but I’m not so sure now. My old dad used to sing a folk song, ‘Jimmy Crack Corn’, and fifty years later I still remember the words; but I remember them as ‘Gimme Crack Corn’. Thanks to Wikipedia I now know that this is not the correct version-
…unless you believe Pete Seeger, who apparently thought that ‘Gimme’ was the original version.
Perhaps my old dad was using Seeger’s version for some reason, but that seems doubtful. So now I don’t know if I’ve got a mondegreen here or not.
A friend claimed to hear the words ‘Sodding Leigh-on-Sea’, but I find this doubtful, since the title of the song is actually Suddenly I see, so it would take a deliberate effort to mishear it.
Except for the 13.
It’s pitiful when the song lyrics are garbled and the singers blow a chance at redemption.
For years I (and many others) couldn’t tell what the penultimate line was in the theme song for “All In The Family”. I heard it as “G-R olla salaried rate” which I knew had to be wrong but there was no sensible alternative.
Then for the last couple years of the show they re-recorded the theme song with arch over-enunciation of the words “Gee, our old La Salle ran great” and even knowing the lyrics you could barely pick them out. I think Jean Stapleton just couldn’t enunciate the word “ran”.
Dave Barry once said, in one of his books, that he thought that the opening line to Help Me, Rhonda was “Since she put me down there’s been owls pukin’ in my bed.”
On the contrary, here is a scientific study of that very mondegreen.
Furthermore, Jimi himself was aware of the auditory ambiguity, sometimes deliberately sang “kiss this guy”, and I believe, sometimes gave Noel Redding a peck on the cheek after singing the line.
This is why Europeans with Neanderthal genes, are not lactose intolerant.
“Knights in white satin.”