If you was a guy I might accept! I love baked goods! And you’d never have to worry about zits and blackheads accumulating on your back ever again. You’d be AMAZED at what I can remove with a good pair of tweezers.
Helpful tweezer buying hint: if you don’t want to drop the bucks for a Tweezerman (but you should get a pair of Tweezerman at least once) then you can examine the other brands of tweezers. I find that the kind marketed as splinter tweezers tend to be the most accurate. However, don’t just pick a pair off the rack. Examine the points closely. Squeeze them shut, and look aat how they meet. Even though the plastic blister is in the way, you can determine if the points are grossly out of alignment.
Tweezers are essential to zit popping, as many zits have a hair growing from the central pore. If this hair is tweezed out, quite frequently a lot of pus will come out with it. At the very least, the pus has an easy exit once the squeezing commences. I use my tweezers to remove blackheads, too. Many blackheads will extrude slightly from the skin, and a keen eye and steady hand can grasp the blackhead with a sharp pair of tweezers, and ease it out of the pore without any squeezing at all. I find that most pores will gape open for a while afterwards, but then will slow relax and close up. Generally I use an astringent to help clean out the pore and close it up. After some years of removing the blackheads from my nose, I’ve found that my nose pores are actually smaller, and don’t tend to get nearly as many blackheads. I suppose it’s because I remove the blackheads before they distend the pore too much, and now I can keep my skin cleaner.
Snuggle up to him, with tweezers hidden in one hand. Maneuver him so that your body weight presses him down, and he can’t get away. Now, produce tweezers and have fun. Unfortunately, this no longer works on my husband, but it did for quite a number of years.
That requires the ability to actually pin him down, which I lack. He picks me up sometimes, just for fun. :rolleyes: I think I could probably handle A limb, but that’s about it.
A while back I developed an ingrown hair on my shin. No big deal, I get them all the time. But, this one was different, it would release the hair contained within, no matter what strategy I employed. Tweezers, needles, compresses, nothing could convince it to give up its treasure. It grew to gigantic proportions, standing nearly an inch off my leg and the circumference of a half dollar. The pain was nearly intolerable, it even hurt to walk.
Finally, my husband couldn’t take my constant whimpers of pain and tried to drag me to the hospital to have it lanced. I have a horrific fear of hospitals, and there was no way I was going to go. I kicked, screamed and struggled until DH gave up on the idea. Little did I know, he had conceived another more fear inducing plan. He prepared his chamber of torture (the bathroom) carefully sterilizing his needles, tweezers and a razor blade; he laid out towels, gauze, peroxide and all other agents of antibacterial products. Then, he tricked me into entering the chamber.
I was immediately pinned to the floor and my festering wound washed. In a matter of moments, DH had removed the 3 inch long hair. A violent eruption of puss and blood exploded into the air and rained down all around us. “Stuff” came out of the ingrown from hell for a good 5 minutes worth of squeezing. I think the people in the next county over heard me scream. I’m suprised no one called the cops.
Every day for 2 weeks I was pinned down and it was cleaned. Today, I have a hole in my leg the size and thickness of a dime. Lovely. DH assures me that had I gone to the Dr. the hole would not exist.
You know, I hate to say it, but I am jealous of you people who get these incredible pimples to squeeze. Jealous, I tell you! I haven’t had a good squeeze-worthy pimple in years! And even if I do get an ingrown hair, it’s barely even noticeable!
Sigh…I guess I’ll just have to keep on living vicariously through you people. Although Lynn’s ode to pimple tweezers makes me want to run out and get just the right pair in case I ever do get a good pimple again…
1966 - taking the SATs as a senior. I’m seated about in the middle of the room. The guy in the chair in front of me is a walking zit factory. He has got zits on his zits, all over his head and neck. He’s got a couple on the back of his neck that I swear are the size of chicken eggs. And just as the teachers start handing out the tests, one of them pops. I could hear it happen, and it squirted bloody pus all over the back of his shirt and his chair. Everyone around me was practically herniating with the effort of not laughing or hurling. About an hour later, the second one exploded with pretty much the same result. The girl seated next to me barfed all over the desk and her test and damn near got me in the backsplash. I still scored 1420, though.
1997 - my sweetie and I are in New Orleans. She’s complaining of fever and a sore spot on her back. I check out her back and she’s got a monster zit under her right shoulder blade. I put a hot compress on it and about 3 minutes later, it blew out. Turns out she had a major league cyst. I must have drained a pint of pus out of it that night. She had to have surgery to clean it out completely.
Mr. Toes has all sorts of sebaceous cysts in many flavors and varieties. I can regularly go hunting on his back. And he does have a pilonidal cyst that flares up occasionally.
The worst/best was when the cyst developed a head about the size of a dime. Mr. Toes was begging me to burst it for about a week. I was a little concerned that maybe it was a job for an actually doctor not a mad-scientist in training (myself). But I’m a sucker for men who beg. Anyway, I armed him with a bottle of vodka and positioned him with his cyst pointing up. After a few painful squeezes the thing burst.
Pus/blood went shooting everywhere! The wall (about 10 feet away), the couch and everything in between was covered. The stench was indescribable.
When Mr. Toes stopped screeching, we had a heated arguement about whether I should gather the pus/blood up and take it into the lab to see if it grew into a sentient being. In the end we cleaned it up and threw out the gunk.
You big baby. My husband had a larger wound than the largest on that page (which they claim is exceptionally large). And I was the one who had to clean it and dress it twice or three times a day. It put me off hamburger meat for WEEKS, let me tell you.
I once developed an allergy to my deodorant which caused me to have three or four huge, painful pimples in each armpit for quite a while. I switched brands, and they started to clear up, but it took forever. They kept reforming, and I would just have to pop them.
Right now my skin is breaking out, so I have quite a few zits to deal with, including three on the side of my nose. One won’t pop, but one has already popped, and the third is in the soon to be poppable stage.
I happen to be …er… A Bit on the Fuzzy Side from my waist down so I often spend a Happy Hour with a glass of wine and an epilator De-Fuzzing my lower gorilla-like half (the top of me is strangely completely Non-Fuzzy!!)
The upshot of this is that a couple of weeks later, I get THE worst crop of deeply ingrown hairs EVER!! And it’s not Just Under the Surface Fellas either! These chaps are heading towards my damn KIDNEYS!!
So… is there ANYTHING I can do to prevent getting these very deep ingrown hairs? I mean, it’s not like I don’t thoroughly enjoy digging the little beggars out and then having a darn good popping session (and admiring the contents of the resulting hole (sorry “pit mine”)…) but I’d REALLY love to be Non-Ingrown Hair Person in the first place!!
Exfoliating doesn’t help any as the hair grows DOWN…
You know, before this thread, I thought I was the only one to get ‘Thigh Zits’. You are right: they are very painful and very hard to bring to the surface. My wife, who doesn’t like me to help her with hers, has neither the finger strength nor the desire to help me with these. Now, before this thread, I didn’t know that you could buy your own demotological ‘popping’ tools…so I have to use what’s handy.
These thigh zits are recurring and the hair never comes out, so basically, I must suffer until there’s enough to pop. And usually, this time passes painfully slowly. One day, whaen I was home by myself and when I had one that was particularly huge, stubborn, and Extremely Painful, I just went nuts from the pain. I went down into the basement, went over to the toolbench and grabbed out a pair of pliers. Then I dropped trou, grabbing the painful thigh zit with my otherhand. I squeezed behind the zit so that it ‘bulbed’ and then I lined up the pliers and squeezed for all I was worth.
I screamed in Dire Agony, but the agony was brief. And I Swear that I heard a ricochet off of a half empty paint can. But All of the puss and and puss-blood was gone, while the skin around it had taken on a corrigated texture. I wiped up as best I could with a kleenex & slapped a band-aid on it and went about my business.
[QUOTE=quietman1920]
Then I dropped trou, grabbing the painful thigh zit with my otherhand. I squeezed behind the zit so that it ‘bulbed’ and then I lined up the pliers and squeezed for all I was worth.
[QUOTE]
Truly you are a man.
I once used the file on my swiss army knife to perform emergency dental surgery on myself while at work. But pliers, man… you rule.
Unfortunately, this no longer works on my husband, but it did for quite a number of years.