That is a fine piece of literature, and is exactly the sort of thing that keeps me coming back to the SDMB.
Well, my husband has some of the best zits. I scout daily. Once he had a cute little white head between his thighs with what looked like a nice ingrown hair. I squeezed and not only did that on explode, there was one directly under it with a tract that let out a cm away that burbled out a huge quantity of bloody pus. A double-decker zit!!
Check out http://www.pilonidal.org/ for great stories involving pus and ingrown hairs.
NOt a zit stroy but it was funny.
Like a lot of black men I get ingorwn hairs under my chin from shaving. So periodically my wife will get out her needles and alcohol and go to work on them. Normally we do this in the bedroom because fo teh good light.
On day I was reading a book on the living room couch, while absently scratching a few recent eruptions. So my wife gets the needle. She’d just stuck the needle in the first bump when Stuffy2 walks in the door and yells “Daddy she’s fixin to stick you with a needle” This causes up both to laugh, which of course made her jab me harder with the needle.
I have no stories of my own at the moment (just average zits with occassional mirror impact for me, I’m afraid, and far fewer of them in the last few years), but I just wanted to say that I love you guys.
sniff
Last fall, I developed a rather large, nasty boil on my upper lip. I kept a hot, moist towel on it, and it subsequently popped, spilling a large amount of gunk into the towel. Naturally, this had to happen a few days before I was to meet Airman, so I went to the doctor and got antibiotics. It speaks well of Airman that he didn’t stare at my upper lip the entire time.
Robin
I have always wondered what that was about, but never wanted to ask. Thank you, thank you.
Here is the thread I started about a particularly nasty one of mine.
Ingrown-hair story…
I was returning from a camping trip in the passenger seat of my friends car, when a felt a sharp pain on my inner thigh. I wiggled around a bit, thinking I had a thorn in my pantleg or something, but the pain grew to the point that I couldn’t stand it any longer.
I shoved my hands down my pants and felt a huge tender lump about the size of a grape. I squeezed hard, yelling “arghhh”, and felt something burst with a gurgling pop. I pulled out my hand, covered in gooey strands of gelatinous pus/blood. Not knowing what else to do, I speechlessy showed it to my friends in the car, to their now eternal disgust. Apologizing profusely, I then took off my pants in the car to find my legs smeared with the gunk, and…and…
oh, I just can’t go on.
I’m crying over here.
I like to squeeze people’s blackheads and pimples. I also like to inspect their pore strips.
My man has a very productive blackhead farm on his nose. I go digging for treasures there every few days. On his torso, he has the Motherlode Pore. It’s nearly a millimetre in diameter, and snakes away into his skin like a cavern. Left for a few months, it produces the most eeeeenormous blackhead. Larva-like indeed.
I have a theory that everyone has a Motherlode Pore on their body. You just have to search until you find it.
lee, I checked out the site. And I am seriously ill at the moment because of it. If you love zit stories, you’ll really enjoy this page.
gag
:eek:
Not technically a zit story, but…After I had my wisdom teeth extracted, I developed a persistent swelling in my jaw. I would take a course of antibiotics, it would go away, then it would come back. After about four rounds of antibiotics (I finished the prescription each time), the swelling came back—about the size of a golf ball, and just under my jawline.
So I was examining my mouth in the mirror, in pain, massaging the lump gently and I noticed as I peered into my mouth that there was a white streak where my inner lip met my gum. Huh, looks a lot like a zit, I thought. Wonder what’ll happen if I squeeze.
I kind of pushed the lump in toward the white spot while squeezing—this big gush of pus came out, plus this foul-smelling, foul-tasting greeny-yellow mass that had the consistency of skin. After a couple more squeezes, I spat out lots of whitish pus, but that big hard glob was the worst!
My jaw infection cleared up after that 
So, my insane desire to pop the zits on my boy’s back isn’t really insane?
Ooh, we’ll have a fun Friday night tonight!
Not technically a zit story, but…After I had my wisdom teeth extracted, I developed a persistent swelling in my jaw. I would take a course of antibiotics, it would go away, then it would come back. After about four rounds of antibiotics (I finished the prescription each time), the swelling came back—about the size of a golf ball, and just under my jawline.
So I was examining my mouth in the mirror, in pain, massaging the lump gently and I noticed as I peered into my mouth that there was a white streak where my inner lip met my gum. Huh, looks a lot like a zit, I thought. Wonder what’ll happen if I squeeze.
I kind of pushed the lump in toward the white spot while squeezing—this big gush of pus came out, plus this foul-smelling, foul-tasting greeny-yellow mass that had the consistency of skin. After a couple more squeezes, I spat out lots of whitish pus, but that big hard glob was the worst!
My jaw infection cleared up after that
Yeah, ball zits. Not exactly on the scrotum, but just where the regular skin meets the scrotum skin.
I had one for about a year. It was hard and hurt when I tried to squeeze it, but I couldn’t get it to come to a head for a long time.
After a long day of work in a particularly hot factory, I went back to my hotel to take a shower, and while washing felt a tiny “bump” on Herb ( yeah, I had a zit so big I named it)
I finished my shower and sat down on the hotel bed, and gave one great squeeze, and this string of blackhead-like material squirted out- it kept coming and coming and coming, and before long I had a little ropey pile of it on the notebook I had placed under my ass when i sat down. I kept on squeezing until nothing more would come out, even though it felt still partly full.
I placed the pile of zit squeezin’s on the nightstand and went to bed. In the morning, I felt it in the shower again and the size of it was considerably changed, in fact it was almost gone.
At the end of another hot sweaty day, I inspected it again, and a good squeeze right after the shower yielded a large (oh, black bean size, I guess,) lump with wadded hairs in it. After that Herb went away never(yet) to return.
I miss Herb (snif)
b.
I dated a guy for several years who had one on his back. I loved that thing. I’d let it go for weeks… cultivating it, so I could finally harvest that gloriously huge black waxy plug… mmm…
Was I the only one who expected to read some sort of Tooth Fairy type line next?
I’m literally making this face as I read this whole thread: :eek:
My god, but this is revoltingly fascinating.
(memo to myself: do not read the zit thread while eating spaghetti. urp.)
No problem. If you know someone suffering from it, tell them to use witch hazel before shaving and after. It doesn’t cease the problem, but it does minimize it.
Yikes, I must have posted that before my coffee took hold. I didn’t even notice all those typos.
Okay, I’ll tell the ear zit and 7th grade French story now.
I had this marble-sized lump in one of the folds of my ear for about a month. Having just started to go through puberty, I didn’t know you could get zits in your ear.
One day, at the beginning of French class, I was sitting in the very back as per usual, and began running my finger around in my ear. I pushed on the bump with my thumbnail, and you can probably guess what happened.
The junk went all over my hand, all over the carpet, and I hope to god not all over the kid next to me. There’s no way to act cool when you’re in class and a giant pimple has just exploded in your hand.
Then it started bleeding. And I do mean bleeding. I tried to stop it with my finger, but it just kept on coming. I ended up walking alllllllllll the way up to the teacher’s desk, with my finger in my ear, to get a kleenex. The kleenex ended up being covered with blood spots, and I’m back there trying to wad it up so the other kids don’t see it.