God Broomstick that was so interesting, thank goodness you had such great support from your husband and you recovered so well. I guessed it might be Golden Staph even before you got to that part. I once knew a guy who had it on his back (like a few small boils, nothing on your experience).
Incidentally a guy in Australia was supposed to have come up with the world’s first cure for golden staph last year, his remedy used a lot of eucalypt and tea tree oils:
Broomstick’s story would not be out of place in Reader’s Digest.
Except, of course, it would be entirely out of place in Reader’s Digest…
Hahahahahahahaheeheeheeheeheeheeheheheheeheheheheheh!!!
The only way to improve on Broomstick’s fine tale would be to include pictures. Maybe even video.
Loved Broomstick’s saga – full of pathos, conflict, laughter and a happy ending. Sounds like the makings of an independent film.
Or, what if we could set up like a live feed for squeezings and excisings and lancings? We could cheer each other on, offer suggestions, tips, and encouragement.
I try to keep it clean in MPSIMS, but I am a goddamned idiot for opening this thread, and an even bigger goddamned idiot for continuing to read this thread, and oh my good lord up in heaven, I thought having Bell’s palsy last year was bad, but now, god, now I know the truth, that there are some fates that are even worse than that…
I cannot look again. I will not.
And I’m going to meet a friend for lunch in a bit? Riiiiight.
(BTW, you guys rock. I love a good zit story, usually, but I had no idea it was gonna grow to such epic proportions. Keep up the good work. But if I read any more I’m going to barf, for real.)
thats just twisted. really, really twisted.
Some people should not be allowed out 
My worst one was when I got a tiny spot on my arm near my armpit become infected.
It grew to the sixe of a tennis ball, and I was unable to move my arm. the doctor gave me some cream to bring the infection to a head, so to speak. It took 3 days of applying the cream 3 times a day to get it to form.
when it did, I went to the bathroom to clean it. it started to leak, so I washed away the pus as it came out.
After about 15 minutes, it stopped.
But It was still the same size.
I squeezed ever so gently.
I swear, it was like my arm was a freaking green playdough factory.
After the playdough, came a flood of about half a cupful of pus.
I cleaned my arm up and have been paranoid of even the smallest spot ever since.
This is frightening…you know, the bubonic plague normally starts with a swelling under the arm (or inner thigh—it’s a lymphatic infection) and the plague has been known to occur in modern times (primarily due to contact with an infected animal).
This is the happiest day of my life! I love this thread so much.
I really can’t top most of these stories - especially the Broomstick saga- but I will say that my husband gets these cool things on his left shoulder. They don’t look like zits really, in that there is no head or anything like that to speak of. If not for my ability to think outside the box, they would never have been expressed. But, hey, I had to try and let me tell you, even though the crap that comes out of these bad boys has the initials P.U., it’s been worth it. Last time I really let it go and the force of the pus was so great it shot into my hair. I needed two tissues to mop up! It was so cool! I now have gloves for this important work.
Also, he has two “motherlode pores” on his chest that he insisted were moles for the longest time. Now I’ve seen moles and these ain’t them! I got two very huge black plugs out of those pores and they stayed clean for an entire year.
On a related note, anyone else use those “nose strip” thingies? I find that the Pond’s brand is far more effective than the Bioré brand. They can be totally gross…all those little pus stalagtites sticking up.
I had a big zit one time and put a strip over it, even though you’re not supposed to use them on broken skin…when I ripped it away, there was this thick, half-inch high column stuck to the strip.
The fun part of the nose strips is that they kinda partially extract zits sometime…thereby opening up new popping potential you didn’t even know was there in the first place.
Nose strips don’t seem to work for me…I have my nose full of blackheads, once put a strip, waited the time, took it off…and nothing!! 
Blackheads are the only things I get, seldom have zits and other explodable things.
Biore and other nose strips are a little bit of heaven and so much more for me. If you aren’t having success, leave them on longer! Perhaps it’s a bit humid that day or whatever. I find that if it really smooth it down with a towel after application, it helps. My husband won’t look at my used Biore despite the surgery I perform on his chest and shoulder.
it was an infected spot, on my arm, not my armpit. not the bubonic plague.
thanks for feeding my hypochondria even more though
Those nose strips seem to yank all the tiny hairs out but not much else… tips, anyone?
My tip is those aren’t tiny hairs, that’s crap from your pores.
Wash your face with hot water, soap, and a washcloth, then while your nose is still soaking wet (like after a shower) put on the strip, and press down hard. Then let it dry for a while till it’s stiff. Then pull it off slowly- you seem to get more porecrud out that way. I think the pressing down hard seems to make a big difference too. Look at the strip under a bright light at an angle, it makes the porecrud more visible.
Of course, I’ve heard this from -other- people. My skin is perfect.
I am in awe. I…am…in…awe.
Astros: Do not underestimate the ability of your nose and sinuses to harbor large objects. I recently had surgery after years of chronic sinus infections…my doctor peered up my nose after numbing it with delightful anesthetic and pronounced me ripe with grape-sized polyps. I had grape sized masses on each side (the big grapes, too, not the little underdeveloped ones). And I never knew they were there! How could I breathe? This actually answers the question of how little kids can lose things up there.
After removing them the Dr. presented these wonders to my S.O. who did not take them home but did excitedly describe them to me after I came to. Glistening…firm yet malleable…sigh.
On the subject of blackheads, I find a fertile pasture is behind the ear, as many have discovered. Not on me…but on my S.O. who happens to have deep creases behind his ears just made to grow long. long strings of white pus. Even better, the creases hide them so he can let them go for a long time without anyone else seeing them. Then, when the time comes, I insist on extracting them and seeing how much I can get in one piece. It’s as much fun as peeling a good sunburn, but that’s another story. Then I show him what his body hath brought forth and we gaze in wonderment together.
::sung:: A-men
Ahh…true love!!
Broomstick, you mentioned that you had a thin red scar from your ordeal. I don’t know how noticeable it is, but if it bothers you, you might want to consider applying emu oil on it. This oil penetrates the skin deeply and has taken care of serious cases of dandruff, dry skin and some raised scars. You can get about one ounce of emu oil for about $10.00 at health food stores. Let us know if you grow any more honkers. Your storytelling is impeccable; it ranks on a par with Scylla’s sagas, in my opinion.