Favorite Qoutes

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.”

“If you break a crumb in half, you don’t have two halves of a crumb, you have two crumbs!”

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”

“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

“No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.”

“I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.”

“Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.”

“The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

Jack Handey:

“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”

“We used to laugh at Grandpa when he’d head off and go fishing. But we wouldn’t be laughing that evening when he’d come back with some whore he picked up in town.”

“Most people don’t realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.”

“Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won’t bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.”

“I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn’t. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.”

“When it’s all been said and done, there’s nothing left to say or do.”

** -Darryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins** - former NBA player.

What country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? --Thomas Jefferson

Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. --Thomas Jefferson

The prevailing attitude of the speakers was one of heavy disagreement with a number of things which the reader had not said. – Ronald Arbuthnott Knox, “Let dons delight: being variations on a theme in an Oxford common-room”

I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal. --Jane Austen

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule it. --H.L. Mencken

When you learn to spell, suddenly things start to make a lot more sense. --Ed Zotti, on the defunct AOL SDMB

People often ask me my secret. I tell them it’s that I still remember how to open a dictionary. –Cecil Adams

All in all it is difficult not to feel that pacifism, as it appears among a section of the intelligentsia, is secretly inspired by an admiration for power and successful cruelty. --Orwell, “Notes on Nationalism”.

**It is, I think, true to say that the intelligentsia have been more wrong about the progress of the war than the common people, and that they were more swayed by partisan feelings. **The average intellectual of the Left believed, for instance, that the war was lost in 1940, that the Germans were bound to overrun Egypt in 1942, that the Japanese would never be driven out of the lands they had conquered, and that the Anglo-American bombing offensive was making no impression on Germany. **He could believe these things because his hatred for the British ruling class forbade him to admit that British plans could succeed. There is no limit to the follies that can be swallowed if one is under the influence of feelings of this kind. **I have heard it confidently stated, for instance, that the American troops had been brought to Europe not to fight the Germans but to crush an English revolution. One has to belong to the intelligentsia to believe things like that: no ordinary man could be such a fool. --Ibid.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan

The harder you work, the luckier you get. – Gary Player.

When the winds of change are blowing, some people are building shelters, and others are building windmills. – ???

Justice is the end of government. It is the end of civil society. It ever has been and ever will be pursued until it be obtained, or until liberty be lost in the pursuit. --Federalist No. 51

Helo: You got something to live for now. Not just die for. – BSG.

Smith: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
Jones: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. – MIB.

I always say it’s important to distinguish between chastity and impotence. – Sidney Brenner

Science adjusts its views based on what’s observed. Faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved. – Storm by Tim Minchin

P.J. O’Rourke:

America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damn well pleased.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

Giving power and money to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

I’ve always liked this mainstay of countless action/war movies - don’t know who first said it, but I find, faced with a hair-raising problem, big or small, that needs fixing; a dirty job that must be tackled; a fear that has to be faced right NOW - this quote is remarkably apropos:

“I’m going in”.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away. ~Philip K. Dick

H.P. Lovecraft, The Festival:

Words to live by.

“A mind stretched to an new idea never goes back to its original dimensions”

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

So, so true.

“The Rats in the Walls:”

Babylon 5
Catherine Sakai: While I was out there, I saw something. What was it?
G’Kar: [pointing to a nearby flower] What is this?
[Upon closer inspection, an insect is visible.]
Catherine: An ant.
G’Kar: “Ant”!
Catherine: So much gets shipped up from Earth on commercial transports, it’s hard to keep them out.
[As Catherine is talking, G’Kar carefully picks up the ant.]
G’Kar: I have just picked it up on the tip of my glove. If I put it down again and it asks another ant, “What was that?”, how would it explain? There are things in the universe billions of years older than either of our races. They are vast, timeless. And if they are aware of us at all, it is as little more than ants…and we have as much chance of communicating with them as an ant has with us. We know. We’ve tried. And we’ve learned we can either stay out from underfoot, or be stepped on.
Catherine: That’s it? That’s all you know?
G’Kar: Yes. They are a mystery. And I am both terrified and reassured to know that there are still wonders in the universe…that we have not yet explained everything. Whatever they are, Ms. Sakai, they walk near Sigma 957. They must walk there alone.

Kosh: If you go to Z’ha’dum, you will die.
Sheridan: Then I die. But I will not go down easily, and I will not go down alone.
Sebastian: How do you know the Chosen Ones? “No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his brother.” Not for millions…not for glory…not for fame. For one person, in the dark, where no one will ever know or see. I have been in the service of the Vorlons for centuries, looking for you. Diogenes with his lamp, looking for an honest man willing to die for all the wrong reasons. At last, my job is finished. Yours is just beginning. When the darkness comes, know this: You are the right people, in the right place, at the right time.

Bertrand Russell:

“So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.”

“It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won’t go.”

“Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise.”

“Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth – more than ruin – more even than death… Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.”

“No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.”

“The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good.”

“The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.”

“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”

“The universe may have a purpose, but nothing we know suggests that, if so, this purpose has any similarity to ours.”

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.”

“This is patently absurd; but whoever wishes to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities.”

“War does not determine who is right - only who is left.”

“Not to be absolutely certain is, I think, one of the essential things in rationality.”

“When one admits that nothing is certain one must, I think, also admit that some things are much more nearly certain than others.”

“Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.”

“Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.”

“Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives’ mouths.”

“Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions, which move with him like flies on a summer day.”

“It is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatsoever for supposing it is true.”

“The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it.”

“I like mathematics because it is not human and has nothing particular to do with this planet or with the whole accidental universe - because, like Spinoza’s God, it won’t love us in return.”

“Sin is geographical.”

“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”

“Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.” - Rowdy Roddy Piper

"I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. " - Bret Hart

“A child’s hope is that your father comes riding in on that white stallion and saves them. You can’t make somebody love you the way you want them to love you, it’s not a Leave it to Beaver type world. This isn’t television. Life’s a lot more cruel than that.” - Jake “The Snake” Roberts

“Hawaii’s the 50th state? I thought it was a suburb of Guam.” - Bobby Heenan

“Foley, Savage and Bret Hart have been doing just fine outside of the world of wrestling, … What else has Ric Flair got? I’d like to punch Ric Flair right in the nose - but I’d probably have to kick somebody in the ass to do it! In the infamous words of Dick Cheney, go fuck yourself Ric and be glad that someone like me doesn’t shove your head squarely up your ass someday.” - Bret Hart

“Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. When change is absolute there remains no being to improve and no direction is set for possible improvement: and when experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
–George Santayana

“Do or not do. There is no try.”
–Yoda

“Today not possible. Tomorrow possible.”
–Grandmaster H. U. Lee

W.B. Yeast, The Second Coming:

Oscar Wilde:

Eric Hoffer:

Isn’t it “Do or do not”?

You forgot the greatest Jake Roberts qoute. Ever.

What does DDT stand for?

“The End.”