you could fill an entire Greatest Hits album of ZZ Top’s songs about blowjobs and sex!
I’ve been listening to a lot of Sublime lately…
So she told me to come over and I took that trip
And then she pulled out my mushroom tip
And when it came out it went drip drip drip
I didn’t know she had the GI Joe kung fu grip!
That’s just pure poetry.
“Remember when I moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallejuah…”
Leonard Cohen, covered beautifully by Jeff Buckley
“I’m gonna give you every inch of my love” – Led Zeppelin, “Whole Lotta Love” (I think)
Then, of course, there are the entire lyrics to “River of Love” by Bon Jovi:
River Of Love
R.Sambora
Let me tell you a story
About body and blood
There’s a fire below
Deep in the river of love
Hey pretty mama I’m just trying to be nice
I wanna make you feel the rhythm of the river tonight
And when the story is over
You’ll be satisfied
Honey, honey, honey don’t you understand
To make you feel like a woman
Makes me feel like a man
Let me take you down to the river of love
Baby pull me under
Make me drown in your flood
Baptize my body in your river of love
Wontcha take me down
I wanna drown
In your river of love
If you’re a little lovesick
Woman I got the cure
Let me be your preacher
And you can be my whore
I feel your heart pumpin honey don’t say not
I wanna dive in your river
Take you down real slow
And then your body will quiver
And the river will flow
Honey, honey, honey don’t you understand
To make you feel like a woman
Makes me feel like a man
Let me take you down to the river of love
Baby pull me under
Make me drown in your flood
Baptize my body in your river of love
Wontcha take me down
I wanna drown
In your river of love
Down, down, down let me take ya
Down, down, down I wanna take ya
Let me take you down to the river of love
Baby pull me under
Make me drown in your flood
Baptize my body in your river of love
Wontcha take me down
I wanna drown
In our river of love
How about Melanie’s ‘Brand New Key’?
“Love in an Elevator/ Livin’ it up while I’m goin’ down”
Aerosmith, Love In An Elevator, Pump
“So there she was, buns up and a-kneelin’, I was a-wheelin’ and a-dealing, my ace in the hole, so to speak”
Aerosmith, Girl Keeps Coming Apart, Permanent Vacation
“I’m riding, I’m shining up my saddle/ I’m riding, this snake is gonna rattle”
Aerosmith, Back In The Saddle, Rocks
The entirety of…
Aerosmith, Big Ten Inch Record, Toys In the Attic
(actually not originally by Aerosmith, though)
“Pink - on the lips of your lover”
Aerosmith, Pink, Nine Lives
OK, I’ll stop now. 
Damn, brondicon beat me to “Kiss that Frog.”
How about “Sex Farm Woman” by Spinal Tap. Very subtle. 
Getting out my pitch fork
And poking your hay
Jackson Browne has another, “Rosie”:
But Rosie you’re all right – you wear my ring
When you hold me tight – Rosie that’s my thing
When you turn out the light – I’ve got to hand it to me
Looks like it’s me and you again tonight Rosie
Then there’s “Popsicle Toes” by Diana Krall:
You’ve got the nicest North America
This sailor ever saw
I like to feel your warm Brazil and touch your Panama
But your Tierra del Fuegos are nearly always froze
We’ve got to seesaw until we un-thaw those Popsicle toes
As for “Whole Lotta Love,” I always thought the instrumental break in the middle, with the wailing guitar and the spinning sound effects, was an orgasm put to music.
I always thought that AC/DC were the masters at this sort of thing:
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/1346/acdc.html
Check out ‘Big Balls’, ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’, ‘Sink The Pink’ and of course ‘The Jack’
Not so subtle, but I can’t believe no one has mentioned them yet…
“Kiss me where it smells funny”
By The Bloodhound Gang
You came twice last year like a Sears catalog
‘Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg
Well now you’re seeing me but soon I’ll have you seein’ God
‘Cause girl I’ll get you pantin’ like you’re Pavlov’s dog
Like a DC-10 guaranteed to go down
But baby your black box is the one that I found
I’ll give you the gift that keeps on givin’ it won’t cost ya any money
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smells funny
So down I go like I’m 2000 Flushes
I can tell I’m doin’ somethin’ right by the way that she blushes
She’s the one that’s speechless I’m the one that’s tongue-tied
She’s thinkin’ holy mackerel I’m thinkin’ tuna on the side
There must be somethin’ wrong with Al Pacino’s nose
‘Cause the “Scent Of A Woman” is like rotten tomatoes
Yeah I’m snorkelin’ for clams it doesn’t matter if I wanna be
Don’t come up for air until you kiss me where it smells funny
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base
I can tell that cherry’s ripe by the way it tastes
Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties
And then drink it while I’m eating out down at the Seafood Shanty
Remember “Cook with Honey” by Judy Collins?
I always cook with honey
To sweeten up the night
I always cook with honey
Tell me how’s your appetite?
Some sweet love
Donna Summer’s “Love to Love You, Baby”. 'Nuff said.
But the best I’ve ever heard is “Garden in My Room” by Merrill Bainbridge. Very clever, sweet, and sexy.
*There’s a garden in my room
Would you like to take a look
There are fascinating things you’ll find there
If you dare to come inside
There is nothing I will hide
Come where there is sweet perfume
In the garden in my room
It has apples sweet and ripe
If you’d like to have a taste I’ll let you
Cherries red as they could be
Such amazing things you’ll see
Everything is in full bloom
In the garden in my room
…
Lay your head on my flower bed
And I promise you will never ever want to say goodbye
…
Rest your body on my velvet roses
Once you’ve tasted my delights
Many days will turn to nights
There is nothing you won’t do
For the garden in my room*
“It’s All Inside”
Latest TV commercial jingle, for Sears. Hm.
michael franks
eggplant
" well my baby cooks her eggplant, bout 19 different ways,
sometimes I just have it raw with mayonaise."
“Amanda Ruth” by Rank and File (later covered by the Everly Brothers):
*She burned the biscuits and her gravy was strange;
Can’t fry a chicken in a microwave range;
Her salt’s tasty,
Her sugar’s sweet;
No she can’t cook but she’s got something to eat!
Amanda…Amanda Ruth…*
“You’re shining some glory on me” from Liz Phair
and who can forget the Vapors’ " I think I’m turning Japanese"?
What, no Sugar Walls?
Joni Mitchell’s Raised on Robbery
"I’m a pretty good cook;
I’m sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen
I’ll show you my best recipes!"
“But she can’t keep away from my big bamboo!”
Deep Purple- “Knocking at Your Backdoor” (the title itself is an innuendo)
So we put her on the hit list
of a common, cunning linguist
a master of many tongues…
I think it was the 4,723rd time I heard this song that something in my brain clicked…
Heart, Mistral Wind – the whole song.
38 Special, Don’t Wanna Get It Dirty:
She’s the sweetest thing to ever wear high heels
And drives the finest set of wheels
But she don’t wanna get it dirty
Won’t take me for a ride
Don’t wanna get it dirty
Don’t wanna lose the shine
And let’s not forget Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk.