I’ve found that, while in a bag, it’s best to avoid cheese based and garlic based snacks, as they tend to make the bag smell funny. And greasy or crumbly snacks, while tasty, tend to smear all over, and make the bag uncomfortable.
So, in general, I’d suggest not snacking while in a bag. If you must, something like baby carrots or celery sticks.
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“Can you image how many potato ole containers are on the floor of that bag?”
Doritos… but I used to like those cheese-filled round cracker snack-things. You know, they were shaped like a tube and had lots of different flavors. Damn, what were they called?
For some reason this often grosses people out, but I’ll say it anyway:
Andy Capp’s Hot Fries.
Heathen.
Mmmmmmm…Funions. I could eat 'em all day. They stopped carrying them in our vending machines here at work, though.
Right now I’m partial to Gardettos Snack Ens. Yum, yum.
I like Funyuns but they irritate the roof of my mouth, so I eat them seldom.
Doritos, any kind. Mmmmm. There’s some kind of drug in those, things, I swear.
My favorite, though, is still the original “Taco” flavor (and I put this in quotation marks advisedly.) Does anyone know if they still make these?
(To see how much I am in thrall to Doritos, check out the number of this post.)
They are called Combos, and they are very good.
I can tell you that they definitely do not.
Every few years they’ll come up with some variety of “Taco n Sour Cream,” or “Taco Bell” flavor or somesuch, but they bear little resemblance to the original “Taco” flavor they made in the 70s. I haven’t seen them since around 1983? or so.
Spicy dried peas.
Very hot, loads of MSG, available wherever random Japanese snacks are sold. Despite the pea factor, these have absolutetly no nutritional value whatsoever.
I love spicy japanese snacks. Sometimes my mom buys a bag of spicy weird japanese things when she is preparing sushi. By the time she actually needs the bag, it’s already empty 
“Wild Bill’s Beef Jerky”…Mmmmmmm, a bag of that and a six pack of Killions Irish Red… …Ah, Life is Good.
NO! Heresy! The only reason I’m not a Funion addict is because they have the Cap’n Crunch effect on the roof of my mouth. If I could bear to eat them two days in a row, you can bet your buns they’d have to hide the Funion Factory!
Since I have to avoid the Funions, I really like the Gardetto’s Snak-ens. They’re garlicky pretzles and little bread thingys. After that it would have to be Chili Fritos.
Ok, someone is going to have to explain this Funion concept to me.
Little artifically shaped rings of, I’m guessing paper mache or possibly dog kibble, that make your breath smell like the floor of a Thai restaurant at 3 o’clock in the morning, and as Sunshine pointed out, leave little flesh stalagtites hanging from the roof of your mouth from friction burn.
And you put these in your mouth voluntarily?
Yes, they are quite possibly the world’s most mysterious snack in a bag. They do seem to be made of something akin to stale styrofoam, they do make your breath foul enough to frighten vampires and they do cause more Cap’n Crunch effect than Cap’n Crunch does.
What you’re not taking into account here, Jack, is the tasty simulated-onion flavor! Nothing beats it! I’ll put Funions on grean bean casserole if you’ll let me. They’re grand in soup! Fabulous on burgers! There’s no end to the yummy goodnes of Funions! If I could take them intravenously, I would.
You scare me, Sunshine. You make me laugh, but you do scare the bejesus out of me.
You’re welcome to all the Hot Fries in our snack machines at work. I don’t think a bag has been purchased in the past few years. Come to think of it the ones in the machine are looking a little green now. You are a brave Motorgirl.
For the record, it is Eagle Brand Hawaiian Style Kettle Chips, or the Granny Goose “Da Kine” Hawaiian Style Chips. I haven’t had any in years, does anyone know if they’re still made?
Plain
salty,
greasy,
corn chips.
GOD, I want some right now… I miss them.
SOYLENT GREEN!
Cheese popcorn. The orange stuff. None of this white cheddar health food for me!
Oooo, the rare Bleu Hot Fries. Mmmm.
Only the most sophisticated snacker eats these
well-ripened treats.