If you’ve watched the behind the scenes video with Amber Nash, “Bear claws. ROWR!!” is pretty hilarious.
I’m also a big fan of “because that’s how you get ants!” and “Can’t or won’t?/Either?”
-Joe
This one. I had trouble breathing for a bit after hearing that.
Cyril: I was jacking it on the telephone.
Archer: Does Internet porn know you were cheating on it?
She doesn’t have any STDs
You haven’t slept with her yet?
Good one.
Woohoo! One for three off the roof, bitches!
-Joe
Krieger: I’m sorry were you talking to me? Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kick-ass.
Wow…that got really dark!
All you’re going to get is holes!
Same ep: Who’s going to give me a hanjo?
Hooray for metaphors!
I came in here for this one. I love it 
“She’s like, the Pele of anal.”
“Nice read, Velma.”
and, suitable for any occasion:
Already quoted, but meh.
“This must be what it’s like to have sex with me!”
So useful! 
I’ve watched every episode at least a couple times and just recently noticed what Cyril is doing when we first see him in his first scene in the first episode.
-Joe
I do hope all Arrested Development fans know who voices the heads of ISIS and ODIN!
Cheryl - Krieger’s a doctor.
Cyril - Not the medical kind!
Krieger - Not even the other kind, technically.
Hmmm. Cock flavored spit? Well, you never know what’s going to be on the board. Let me see cock flavored spit!
(I also pretty much always say “What the shit?” now when I’m suitably perplexed.)
And Cheryl.
“Sploosh!”
Save it for the fast money round, Patty!
-Joe
“Imagine SHUTTING UP, you two!”
“Lana. Lana. Lana.”
“WHAT!?”
“danger zone!”
“Don’t make it weird.”