“OK, everybody out of the SS Pedophilia.”
“You’re gonna get quite a laugh out of this, Mr. Archer. I mixed up your charts!”
“Sterling Mallory Archer!”
“Honey, nobody’s that gay.”
“C’mon, let her have this one, guys.”
“This van is, like, rolling probably cause.”
Wait, is this the one about Krieger’s van? That’s the S.S.* Date Rape*.
Barry, does this make up for Framboise?
It does, other Barry. It sure does.
I must be misremembering it, then. Thanks.
I checked IMDb.com, and unfortunately it doesn’t have an Archer Quotes section yet.
“You haven’t seen the last of Conway Stern! Which is not my real name!”
Ok, maybe not the favourite (it’s really hard to pick one), but for some reason it’s the Archer line that always comes to mind first. Maybe because Diversity Hire was my first episode of the series.
Unlikely as it seems, I’m still holding out hope for the return of Conway Stern. Which is not his real name.
He’ll definitely be back. No doubt.
“Nice gun. Did it come with a matching handbag?”
-Joe
Phrasing!
“you got shot. Again!”
“okay your fingers”
Lana: I am literally wet with jealousy.
The whole “Placebo Effect” episode cracks me up like no other. Some favorite parts:
The set-up for this one is what makes it:
Archer: What have I been doing?
Lana: Chain smoking joints the size of tampons.
Archer: Eww.
Lana: Just a figure of speech.
Archer: Still, eww.
And also,
Archer: Do I look like I need bald guy cream?. Mikey, I can barely get a comb through this. It’s so thick my barber charges me double.
Bitch, I got ants all over me!
… And M, as in Mancy.
“…your own fingers…”
“Blimps are terrible!”
and the reason I love this show:
“No, do not say the Chekov gun Cyril, that is a facile argument.”
“and woefully esoteric>”
God, we hate Pam.
-Joe
“He’s an affirmative action two-fer!”
Cheryl: Say the right stuff, and they just send you to a mental hospital for 10 months.
Ray: I just this second realized why you do macrame instead of knitting.
Cheryl: Trust me, you can’t control a person’s heart.
Krieger: You can with a little thing I call a deep cycle marine battery … or LSD.
“Sploosh” makes me laugh out loud every time.
Not a word!
Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody.
No I mean now. I’m going to pretend you’re Alex Karras.
Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts? No, ISIS agents use Krav Maga.
Not often, but useful anytime someone breaks anything glass: And there goes the other Steuben.
“Is it too much to ask for someone to pick up the phone?”