I didn’t invent the turtle-neck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize it’s potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtle-neck, Lana… the tactle neck!
Whenever anyone asks me if I have a second to discuss something, I have been known to respond with “I have entire minutes!”
I have to go, but if I find one dog hair when I come back I’ll rub sand into your dead little eyes. I also need you to buy sand. I don’t know if they grade it, but … coarse.
You know, I bet there’s a lesson to be learned from all this, but I … oh shit, my rug!
Hey, we’re out there risking our lives every—many of the days!
If you let me into the mainframe, I’ll drop these donuts. And then you can pretend you’re a hungry hungry … hungry hippo.
(Bear claw! Rawr!)
For some reason his inability to get that the blimp was not filled with hydrogen killed me.
“Don’t smoke that! You want to blow us all to shit, Sherlock?”
“For the last time, this blimp is filled with non-flammable helium.”
“What’d I tell you about that? ::stuffs money in his mouth:: Now go buy a nicotine patch.”
Not the funniest, per se, but I find myself saying “Dukes!” a lot (and sometimes Double Dukes).
But not as much as I say “NooooooOPE.”
Remind me…?
Why was I dressed like Hitler?
Why was he dressed like Hitler?
“Don’t worry, its a bullet-proof vest”
BLAM
“That being said, it is a vest”
“And we got to see Pam fit four pool balls in her mouth”
“Personal Best!”
We know nothing about Cyril because we’ve never seen him before and I don’t think he’s even been mentioned yet. His cheating hasn’t come up yet, but he comes out of his office and he’s putting on his jacket and tucking in his completely-out shirt.
Presumably he was banging Scatterbrain Jane in there right before he came out to talk to Archer.
-Joe
Not so much the line, but the read was classic: “That’s a lot of scalps”
I thought we skipped that step.
Skipped a step in disarming a bomb?!
Yeah, which I thought was pretty irresponsible on your part.
Paraphrasing some:
Everyone: You have breast cancer?!?!
Dammit Cheryl!
I’m sorry but I have a disease! Don’t you know what that…oh…
Not eavesdropping!
Still totally not eavesdropping!
Archer: Lana I’m in love with you!
Lana: You’re also shit-faced.
Archer: Can’t I be both?
“Then go already, bag with which one douches!”
“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my deafening awesomeness.”
“Way to go, Chokeley Carmichael.”
Wait…I had something for this…
Yeah, and what do you even do here? Sit on your ass and analyze data? Well I’m a field agent, Isaac Newton. I risk my life, so, yeah, I do deserve the best space in the parking garage. Like it’d kill you to roll 50 feet. Stupid thing’s electric.
good thing he didn’t say that to jamiemcgarry
Render unto Caesar the salad which is Caesar’s.
The lemur got into the pudding cups.
I so could have crushed that.
Do you not?
These quotes sounded funny so I pulled up the first episode on Netflix.
JFC this show is hilarious! I had to stop it a couple of times because I was laughing so hard. I am a full fan now.
One of the funniest shows on TV, if not THE funniest. And it’s got one of the highest season ratings on Metacritic of any show this year. Top three or four.
I’m on the third episode right now, Diversity Hire, and I made the huge mistake of taking a drink when they showed all the diverse people that Sterling has gotten killed while drunk dialing people.
“Hey man, are you going to that lame ISIS picnic?”