“We touched penises.”
“Where?”
I’d put money on one of those times being the “just the tip” montage.
“Sesame Ginger Savings & Loan?”
“I happen to be a kickass accountant!”
“Did that sound a lot better in your head?”
“…Yes, it did.”
“Shoot him, Cyril - but just him; I think the twins are warming up to me.”
“Look at you: Shoulders like a trout.”
All of it. Head and shaft!
I have to say I was pretty shocked when I found out the cast all records separately. I know it’s pretty standard for most animated shows these days but the interactions between characters - especially the AD alumni - are so flawlessly timed with perfect tone.
bwip!
"Sir, that stolen lemur just bit one of your prostitutes right on the face, and she says she can’t go to hospital because she’s, quote, “tripping balls.”
“The secret ingredient is phone.”
“Thanks, I’ll let you know if I need a hybrid pig boy!”
“What?! I don’t know what-- I don’t have one of those–”
“…that’ll do, Pigly, that’ll do.”
“…anymore!”
“Duh and/or hello!”
“That was the last of my stash. It’s gonna be an itchy weekend…”
“What? You’re black…ish.”
“Ish?!”
“Well, what’s the word for it, Lana?! You freaked out when I said ‘quadroon!’”
“Imagine that!”
A few months back I went to a pub trivia night with a friend. I swear we said “quadroon” for no particular reason fifty times over the course of the evening.
Also Cheryl / Carol / Carina / Cristal
Pam: The identity of every single ISIS field agent is on there!
Archer: So what?
Malory: Because most secret agents don’t tell every harlot from here to Hanoi that they ARE secret agents.
Archer: Then why be one?
[reading from the newspaper]“Sir Augustus Stilton, World War one flying ace, blah blah blah, dies under mysterious circumstances.” Heh, mystery solved - he was a thousand!
Cheryl is screaming during a gun battle.
Archer: SHUT UP! [Your] vest is bulletproof!
Cheryl: Oh. [gets shot in the upper arm] OW!
Archer: But it is, y’know, a vest.
I never thought I’d say this, but I really miss the Zima.
Seriously, that’s like, Eggs 101
In honor of the upcoming fourth season…
“I’ll have you know my vulva is as smooth as a veal cutlet… with a terrible sense of timing.”
“It’s crepuscular! Get it!”
“Ew. It tastes worse than it smells.”
“If I had a dime for every time a man’s said that to me… I’d have eighty cents!”
“Danger Zone!”
“I vote ‘Asian chick.’”
That’s “M” as in “Mancy”…
Malory: You’re damn lucky Anka convinced her father not to press charges.
Archer: *Yeah, I feel lucky. Let’s see, sexually assaulted by a teen-aged sociopath, interrogated by gendarmes, oh, three stitches in my penis, so, yep, it’s all breaking my way. *
“A black astronaut, Cyril! That’s like killing a unicorn!”
“How can an air boat be selfish?”