When a patient’s condition has become incompatible with life and all efforts at resucitation have been exhausted and still the patient is without vital signs this results in a negative outcome whereby this patient is said to have been given a “celestial discharge”.
I always preferred “Kicked the oxygen habit”
“Growling at the badger” = cunnilingus
I always preferred “Kicked the oxygen habit”
Minor nitpick, Herr Doktor Schadenfreude: my mother, who was a Casualty Ward nurse in Glasgow in the early 1950s, claims that a “Glasgow Kiss” is a forehead administered to someone’s nose, generally accompanied by the cry “Stitch that Jimmy!”
A couple of my favourites (“tired and emotional” already having been given):
“Deacceleration trauma” and “Cement poisoning,” both used to describe a roof-jumper (deceased).
And of course, Private Eye’s classic “Ugandan discussions” for sex. “Avid pianist” is a Frank Magazine term for a horndog.
Rodd Hill, I agree with your mother. It’s just that the aim of the aggressor is not always true.
On ‘Ugandan discussions’ do you recall of whom this was first said. I don’t.
“horndog”?
Is this more of two nations separated by a common language?
And another thing. I can’t believe we’ve got this far without people asking what a euphism is. How polite you all are.
“horndog” = man out for sex
When I was an EMT, we used the “man vs vehicle accident” expression for a person hit by a car.
Sexual euphemisms: that’s a whole 'nuther thread!
I prefer “Barking at the Ape”
My favorite euphemism for death is “no longer eligible for the Census”
I first heard it in a Letterman top 10 list about a dozen years ago.
“Paying rent on the beer,” urination (specifically, while at a pub).
“Dropping the kids off at the pool,” defecation.
“Slap and tickle,” foreplay in general.
“Bothering the canoe driver,” female masturbation.
“Rubbing one out,” male masturbation.
I found my two favourite euphemisms in an Onion infographic a couple of months ago.
“Red Skelton moved into my house temporarily.”
“I’m riding the cotton pony.”
Of course, both are for menstruation.
Rodd Hill and Dr.Schadenfreude… it’s good to finally identify some other Private Eye readers on the boards. I have been particularly amused by this issue’s reference to the two opposing leaders in the Israeli troubles as “Smitem” and “Smitembak”. I am also happy to confirm the Glasgow Kiss term, living, as I do, in darkest Govan. We three should go for a drink sometime…
Anyhoo. I believe it was Rock Hudson who always referred to the toilet as “the euphemism”. I always liked that. An ex girlfriend of mine referred to sex as “doing stuff”, which has always retained a certain charm, even when total strangers say it in reference to somethign entirely different.
Rodd Hill and Dr.Schadenfreude… it’s good to finally identify some other Private Eye readers on the boards. I have been particularly amused, if sadly, by this issue’s reference to the two opposing leaders in the Israeli troubles as “Smitem” and “Smitembak”. I am also happy to confirm the Glasgow Kiss term, living, as I do, in darkest Govan. We three should go for a drink sometime…
Anyhoo. I believe it was Rock Hudson who always referred to the toilet as “the euphemism”. I always liked that. An ex girlfriend of mine referred to sex as “doing stuff”, which has retained a certain charm, even when total strangers say it in reference to something entirely different. Still makes me shed a few layers of properness.
“Shaking hands with the unemployed” for using a urinal.
“Flogging the Bishop” for exactly what you think it is.
I’ve always liked “five finger discount” for shoplifting…
Eh, riding the cotton pony… God, I love The Onion.
Novus
in a church book:
the operation of love. this was how joachim and anna begot mary.
those greeks, they are a wild and crazy people.
FUB, I think I like “Falling to the Communists” as the best euphemism The Onion came up with for “having your period.” It’s got just the right suggestion of… red. 
Male masturbation euphemisms are a dime a dozen. Whoever said “jostling the elder” gets my vote. (For those of you not USAers or not paying attention to politics, “Jocelyn Elder” was the name of a very courageous, high-ranking government official in the US Health Department who suggested that maybe masturbation wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. She was fired faster than you can say “Puritannical.”) “Pocket pool” (i.e., hand in the pocket, messing with the balls) is a rather creative one I’ve heard recently. “Choking the trouser snake”, “playing the skin-flute”, “talking to the cyclops”… it’s all so tired.
Female masturbation euphemisms are a bit more fun, presumably because it’s more politically incorrect and forbidden to ponder women actually doing the deed. I think “clubbing the clam” remains my favorite. Though George Carlin’s “makin’ soup!” is good for a grin as well.
Euphemisms for male on female oral sex… “Yodeling up the canyon.”
Euphemisms for sex in general? “Horizontal dancing” is not bad, though I think I prefer “the mattress mambo”. My friend back in HS and his girlfriend slyly called it “doing laundry.” This works on more than one level - for instance, if you have a “small load” you can “do it by hand.” 
Urination: “Tapping a kidney” (thanks to Stephen King, “The Tommyknockers.”)
Shoplifting: “Five finger discount.” (Guess they always used only one hand?)
-Ben
how about “moss covered hatchet wound” for… well figure it out.