You know that little voice that resides in the dark back corner of your mind. The voice that, when you are out in public, or around other people, sits in the back amongst the cobwebs and discarded knick knacks, knowing that you won’t listen until you are alone. The voice that is afraid of the unknown. Well not the unknown really, the unknown can be distant and grand, it is afraid of the corner and what is around it. What is around the corner is frightening, it is waiting to eat, and it will be just out of sight until it is too late. What is around the corner won’t be there 99% of the time, but you never know when that 1% will be so you had better not ignore the voice. It is the voice that has served our species well and kept us alive through millions of years of evolution until we were able to conquer nature and essentially eliminate the need for it.
Well that voice has been acting up on me over the last day or so. After watching a recent episode of Dr. Who I have been expecting to see a stone statue of a weeping angel standing there whenever I turn around (if you haven’t seen the episode just trust me, it is freaky as all get out). This situation is aggravated by the fact that for the last few nights and the next two weeks I am staying in an unfamiliar condo that has a lot of corners for things to hide around, plus at the end of the hall there is a full length mirror which is giving me a terrible time. On the one hand the mirror allows me to see behind me when walking down the hall, but on the other hand whenever I see the mirror out of the corner of my eye I could swear I see things moving in it, several times I have had to carefully search the bedroom for the unspeakable evils that I know I saw dart in there.
I really wish the voice would just shut up. It is starting to drive me crazy, I called Amelioration tonight when I got back from some errands (calling before I opened the front door of course, so that if I was killed by something lying in wait someone would hear my cries and be able to call for help) and it was a good 15 minutes before she was able to calm me down and get me to stop ranting nervously. I am not normally like this, but the combination of my standard paranoia, an unfamiliar residence, and a creepy television episode have combined to put my nerves in such a situation that they felt the need to call for the assistance of that little used voice that was lurking amongst the knick knacks of my brain.
It is going to be a long two weeks. Now if you’ll excuse me I am fairly certain I heard an inconceivable horror thumping around in the bedroom that I should go check out… just make sure to call for help if you here any screams, thanks.
Alistair, you’re just being silly. You know as well as anyone, I’m sure, that no self-respecting horror would deign to take up residence in a condo of all things. That’s what big, isolated farm houses are for. Now, go watch Poltergeist and be a good sport, eh?
Logic them away. Always works for me. “Self, you know darned well there’s no hockey-mask wearing killer under the bed, because there’s no room under there with all those shoe boxes!” “Self, you know there’s no ghosties hiding in the kitchen, because if there were, the cat wouldn’t be lying there all peacefully asleep on the kitchen rug.”
Ah, but see that just makes it worse. The horror in my condo must have no self-respect, which means I will probably end up running into some sort of emo-horror. Now I could swear I keep hearing the faint sound Jimmy Eats World or My Chemical Romance playing through iPod headphones. I am living in fear of walking around a corner into a bad poetry recital shudder
I have an irrational fear when I go to bed sometimes that a hand will reach out from under and grab me into w/e land of horrors the demon hand resides in.
I also tend to wake up suddenly and imagine the clothes hanging in my dresser are a monster. That, and the lamp… and the ceiling fan.
You know what would be even more terrifying than that? Receiving a phone call from your SO’s number, one that you would think would be a relief from your constant paranoia, but the moment you pick up and say “hello?” you hear only the faint sound of Fall Out Boy in the distance…
It’s the albatross hanging around your neck…the albatross of missed Dopefests past…
Seriously, it’s like I explained in another thread. what are the chances? Sit down and reason it out. What are the fucking chances? I mean…why you? Why then?
Simmer down…have some pie…turn on a light. Get a pet!
Ok, I confess, part of the reason my bed is on the floor rather than in a frame is because some tiny part of me is still worried that aliens/ghosts might be hiding under there. My alien fear comes from watching “Unsolved Mysteries”(man, after awhile even the music from that show terrified me, and I could hear it from my bed, in the dark, alone…) and a television commercial for, you guessed it, Time Life books about alien abductions and UFOs. I was TERRIFIED of being in my house in the dark, as a child, and terrified of being alone in the house, but when I got my first apartment, I was suddenly (almost) completely comfortable alone in the dark.
It’s true! everyone knows that blankets are impenetrable to all forms of evil since they are made with patented Evil Teflon[sup]®[/sup], guaranteed to thwart the advances of even the most persistent abomination of the supernatural.
