Well, there actually is a precedent in this case.
Back in 1994 a disgruntled FedEx employee (a pilot, in this case) was about to be fired because the company found out that he lied about his flight times prior to being hired. He boarded a DC-10 leaving Memphis bound for California (I don’t remember where specifically in CA - LAX?). He also had sent a speargun :eek: as cargo along with himself.
After takeoff this guy (Auburn Calloway) stormed the cockpit and tried to kill the flight crew. His plan was to take over the airplane and crash it into FedEx headquarters. Sound familiar?
Anyway, he stormed into the cockpit and hit the flight engineer in the head with a hammer, knocking him out. He then attacked the Captain and First Officer, and they attacked back. The struggle in the cockpit was epic, with fists, feet, the hammer and the crash axe eventually coming into play. The spear gun never made it into the fight, luckily.
At one point both pilots were out of their seats while fighting this lunatic, and the autopilot was not connected - there was truly no one at the controls of a fully-laden 400,000 lb jet over Memphis while a close-quarters fight to the death was being waged in the cockpit. There are some audio recordings available that have transmissions from the airplane during this time - somewhere on the flightdeck someone keyed the mic and ATC recorded screams and grunts.
The flight engineer regained consciousness and helped the FO restrain Calloway, and the captain got back in the seat to land the airplane. He took the first runway available at MEM and almost didn’t make it (it was a short runway and the plane still had all the gas required to fly to CA onboard, making it much heavier than planned).
The airplane stopped and airport rescue personnel rushed on board only to find the fight STILL going on - fists and kicks still flying as Calloway refused to give up. I’ve seen pictures of the flight deck and it looks like someone threw buckets of blood around - it’s everywhere.
All three pilots survived but sustained injuries that no longer allow them to fly. Calloway is (I believe) serving a life sentence without parole.
This is probably more info than casual readers of a “My package didn’t arrive!” thread want to hear, but there are threats to flights other than weather.
And CynicalGabe I appreciate your pun - good stuff! Don’t let my serious reply diminish your future pun-making ability!