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So we’re roughly 15 months out since initial presentation, 13 months out since initial chemo, and we’re in 2nd/3rd line chemo, in this case Lomustine/CCNU. She’s done beautifully, far beyond initial expectations.
We may be hitting a wall, had to do a thoracotomy? - had to remove abdominal fluid that strongly suggests mets beyond the original lymph node.
It’s been a great year with her, but she’s tired. This is hard, I will not torture my cat. We’ll try another round of CCNU to see if it can still control the lymphoma, but it may be time soon, she’s still eating tuna from the can, we’ll see.
I’m grateful, but heartbroken. I’ll miss her, but she deserves to not be tortured.
Just needed to vent. She’s the best cat ever, and if any cat deserved it, Bast herself will take my cat to Cathalla when it’s time.
It just hurts. Even when you get that Lymphoma Year to get ready.
She’s that marvelous being known as a cat. She understands and appreciates (in her little cat way) everything you’ve done and will do.
She’s gone. We gave her a good ending and she broke our hearts, staff included.
She was my cat and I loved her more than most things on this planet.
I can’t complain, she had a long, quiet, uncomplicated course of disease.
We caught the early beginnings of a rapid, severe decline and stopped it.
She had a nice bit of diazepam, some final tuna, lots of love and scritches. Her family came together and said goodbye. I held her at the end, kept eye contact and told her that I loved her as she died. We wrapped her in a big, soft comforter and buried her as a family. I even sang (badly) Neko Case’s At Last to her.
She was a good cat.
I’m really, really sorry for your loss. 
I’m really sorry for your loss. It’s always tough to lose a beloved pet.
My sister is facing something similar with her dog: a 1 year old golden retriever with Stage V lymphoma. They were lucky to catch it in the first place - my sister recognized signs on an X-ray that matched a question she had last year on a vet school exam!! - and he’s responding well to treatment. He’s in a chemical remission now; you couldn’t do any medical testing and detect anything at all, but it’s going to come back. They are hoping for 8 months or so, but who knows?
For now, he’s a happy, energetic puppy and is being spoiled rotten. About all you can do.
Damn critters just crawl into our hearts and take up residence, don’t they?
My family sees it like this: there’s never a shortage of love. Perhaps when you’re ready you’ll find another kitty that needs you to love it.
{{cerberus}}
Things I learned with my cat:
Chemo has no guarantees, but in the best cases is well tolerated.
NED is good, but so is stable disease.
There are generally three survival groups: ~5-6 months, ~1 year, >1 year.
Surgery with lymphoma is usually not curative, but if a growth threatens an organ, resection can extend life.
It’s worth the effort.
With lymphoma, a good course of disease involves a period of remission or stable disease under a first line therapy with rescue.
After that fails, you might extend survival with second or third line therapies.
Get a good vet who will balance therapeutic outcomes against your pet’s quality of life.
My girl got an unusually long survival with both first and second line therapies.
cerberus, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so glad you and she knew each other, tho.
I’m so sorry for your loss, having been through it many times myself. It’s amazing how they can tell you when it’s time to let them go. And yes, it’s always forth the effort.
Thank you all for the posts. It’s nice to see a few crazy animal people out there.
One of my friends has been great, but some of these people, gah. One of friends has been tone deaf about this since she doesn’t bond with animals. I successfully let that one go - tip: if you don’t get the animal/pet thing, then kindly shut. The. Fuck. Up. And walk away.
Seriously, that one animal, for good or for ill, was one of my top two or three emotional centers. I’d rather be close to her and listen to her purr than deal with pretty much anyone else. So frankly, losing her sucks.
But we got 15 months on what is usually a 3-5 month trip, with minimal health issues.
So I went to the vet’s and gave them a nice card, some champagne, end some sparkling grape.
It’s just harder, for good or for ill, losing your primary/alpha cat.
I let an argument go, not the friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My 17-year old cat, Jack, has intestinal cancer. For the past 2 months we’ve been giving him oral chemo meds and prednisone (and his thyroid medication, poor guy). He’s doing well so far; he’s thin and his last blood work showed he was anemic, but he is acting normal and is very affectionate. I decided to go with the oral chemo even though he is so old because he was feeling good–it seemed wrong not to try when he wasn’t presenting as sick. I know it won’t be much longer, but he’s getting all the love we can give him and I’ll make sure the end is as painless as possible. I’ll use your example as a guide. Peace.
Awww, I’m so sorry for you, cerberus. It’s a fantastic thing to have a relationship with “a cat”. My house doesn’t have “pets”; it has “family”. A little hairy sometimes, but so very near & dear in my heart. Rest in peace, loved one.
A note about meds: Prednisolone in some cases is more efficient than prednisone, as the drug is in a more usable form. Dirty got her Prednisolone in liquid form from a specialized pharmacy.
I told Dirty’s DVM that if any study came along that could use Dirty’s experience that she should share the data.
Thanks again for the posts.
Thanks again