I think it depends on the length of the ogling, so to speak.
It’s flattering in a quick appreciative glance, but creepy having a 20 minute conversation with someone who’s eyes are constantly darting (if not stuck) on my chest.
And then there are the guys who think they are paying you a huge compliment by letting you know you have a “nice rack”
Boys, boys, boys. Will you ever learn?
re: the Greek pssss-psssss noise…In one of the only moments of The Real World that I cheered, Kamila of Boston fame was walking in the subway when some guy psssted at her. She turned and said to him, “What exactly do you think goes through a woman’s mind when you do that? ‘Gee, that guy can make a pssst noise. He must be special. I think I’ll sleep with THAT one.’ My name is Kamila. My name is NOT ‘pssst.’ Have some respect.” and walked away. I literally applauded.
“Sure, Eve, like we’re gonna buy that line after seeing your pic. Hubba hubba.”
That’s sweet, Dins, but the photo wasn’t, umm, taken last week. Turn it over, in fact, and it’s stamped “Matthew Brady Studios.”
There is definitely a lack of reciprocity between female and male experience.
It’s dangerous to ask how a guy would feel about being ogled. Most guys are attention starved. They’d LOVE it. I know I would.
I’ve had a serious lack of ogling by the opposite sex, myself.
It is a demonic situation. Women get far too much, and men very little. Would you rather dehydrate or drown?
Like you’re gonna get me to reset my walpaper that easily, Eve.
Wasn’t Matthew the middle Brady son?
(hijack)
(quote) It only creeps me out if someone stares directly at me (or my chest, more specifically) for an unusually long time. People look at one another. It’s natural. What’s unnatural in this country is when someone is coming toward you on a path and both of you have clearly seen each other but both of you avoid eye contact. (end quote)
Really? I thought it would’ve been rude to lock eyes with a stranger walking towards you, sorta like in the animal kingdom where some critters take lingering eye contact as some sort of challenge. If I make eye contact with someone I don’t know, I may smile briefly and then look away.
(/hijack)
To support what’s already been said, looking at someone is one thing, glaring (for any length of time) is quite another.
Patty
Lets see… women complain about being ogled fairly frequently, but yet spend billions every year on cosmetics and clothing. Gods we have a fouled up society.
It’s like when I was listening to my girlfriend before we were going out. “I can’t stand it! All these guys are always hitting on me, I hate it!” And she always got pissed off when I said I had no sympathy for her, wishing I had such problems. Dehydrate or drown, the worse of the two problems is the one you’re experiencing.
As for my own ogling, if I see a particularly good looking girl, I have a tendency to stare. If they don’t like it and feel like a piece of meat, that’s their problem. They never talk to me to let me judge their mind.
Depends on how it’s done. If it’s a subtle look, it’s kind of flattering. If the man in question is carrying on a complete conversation with my breasts, quite creepy.
Depends on how its done. If I’m just passing through and I get a few whistles it can really perk up my day. If I’m trying to do work and you can’t look at me, its no longer cool.
Sometimes, at parties and the like, its fun to see just how much self control your friends have. Walk around topless and see how many people can look you in the face. some activly avoid looking. Others glance and smile. The most fun are the ones who can’t, no matter what, look higher than chin level. They get teased by pretty much everyone.
Of course, these are only my party games.
Ellen, I don’t think so. There are plenty of women who get all pretty’d up or put on real sexy clothes. Then walk around in public just to get male attention. Then when they get male attention, they snub the guy.
I was surprised that it took so long for someone to mention how much time, money , & energy is spent on achieving that look.(Madpoet) It seems that most of the ladies replies are negative. If you spent two seconds to bathe, get dressed and comb your hair, I can see a “two second” glance. Reality check here ladies! I understand (I’m married) that you want to feel good about how you look, but give men a break. Biologically speaking , men are designed to be ready, willing and able at any time of the day, month , or year. Just to be ready for a female who could come into heat at any time. Look at other mammals, a majority have a “mating season” the females come into heat, the males fight for the right, and “WHAM-BAM” another year goes by. I do not leer or try to instigate sex, but if I see I woman wearing high heals and low neck sweater, get back home Loretta (or I am going to be looking)
Be fair, handy. How many ordinary-looking women did that guy ignore before giving the good-looking one some attention? Maybe she’s snubbing him because he’s ugly.
I think attention is inevitable. What annoys me is when it’s done purposely to startle you. Basic scenario: You’re walking down the street and you get hooted at suddenly and LOUDLY from a passing car. And guys just claim that they are admiring attractive women. Yeah, right.
Coincidentally, I was pondering this very question, or a slight variation thereof, on my walk to work today. An attractive lady was walking towards me with her eyes slightly averted (she was looking across the street). I looked at her face, for two reasons - (1) it was a very nice face, and (2) it was a narrow sidewalk, I didn’t want to collide with her, and my old sensei told me to watch the eyes to see what the other person is aware of, and where they’re going to go next. As we got closer she looked at me, and our eyes locked. The passion between us burst forth and we embraced, our mouths seeking each other …
Sorry. After our eyes locked, I let my eyes slowly move away and I looked down the block. This being NYC, as we passed I didn’t acknowledge her, and I never changed my facial expression.
After she passed, I wondered what the hell she thought. Did she think that I had been staring for a while, and she caught me? Did she think I was polite, dismissive, or a psycho not to change my expression at all or to acknowledge her? Ladies, whatcha think?
As for the OP, I never have problems with getting caught ogling. Ya see, I’m a butt man. Love them subway steps … 
Sua
It seems to me that there are men who will give women the creeps who don’t understand that they do so, because they’ve got the wrong idea of what image they’re putting forth and how it is actually being taken.
I know a guy who is a good guy, and because of it he’s baffled and hurt that the women of the world don’t want to fuck him. He takes it personally, and I don’t know how to tell him that women I’ve talked to have felt that when he looks at them they are being rated on how fuckable they are, and he only talks to the most fuckable woman in the room.
Another guy I know is sweet and coy, and women are flattered by his attention. The former guy thinks women like the latter guy better because he’s more attractive. But the truth is that the latter guy doesn’t make a woman feel fuckable, he makes her feel charming.
I suppose it has not occured to you that when you see nicely dressed women walking around in public it might just be because they are on their way to someplace where they are supposed to be nicely dressed, such as a date or a party, and not becuase they want strange men leering at them on the street.
I don’t like it. At all. If someone honks at me and the traffic is slow enough to see the face of the guy in the car (I’m a pedestrian), I’ll flip him off, and maybe yell a few choice insults. I once screamed at some guys that were repeatedly hooting at me as I walked to the laundry in Jerusalem. I’m not even sure they understood what I said, but I think they might have figured out that I didn’t like it. I can see how a woman might be flattered and have her day perked up by a whistle or something, but guys, listen up: catcalling will never, ever, ever get you laid.
I saw a program about this a while back, this woman filmed a documentary on the subject of men harassing women on the street. She carried her video camera with her and would confront the men who made catcalls or stared too long. It was really funny to watch these guys equipment just shrivel up when she came after them.
From the beginning of time women have been the objects of men’s desire. Since we have become “civilized” we just can’t club them and drag them back to the cave anymore… ah, the good old days…
Actually handy, it would be closer still if you were a straight man, and you were being ogled by gay men. Nothing against gays, mind you (I am a PROUD fag hag with fierce gaydar, babee!). Even if you are secure in your sexuality, as a heterosexual you feel flattered on one level, but you have a definite “you can’t have me! Stop looking at me that way like I’m your piece of meat” feeling as well. THAT feeling is a bit closer, I’d have to say.
The “Don’t advertise if you’re not selling” arguement doesn’t wash with a well dressed woman walking down the street in this case.
If she is advertising, you can tell. That’s when you go up to her and negotiate a price…of course I’m talking about hookers. The do advertise…and it’s obvious.
This is a “tough row to hoe” for me because I know a low cut blouse isn’t an invitation for me to look at clevage, but on the other hand, if it’s in my line of sight, I’m going to look…and possibly get caught looking…and possibly offend the clevage owner.
This thread hasn’t helped me much…I’m even more confused about the issue now.
I was down at the beach the other day & I saw these two girls (17 & 18 ) in their bathing suits & I was looking at them for a moment & they turned & waved really big with huge smiles. It turned out to be two clerks from a video store I go to a lot. Didn’t much look at them after that cuz they would keep doing that wave & smile thing. sigh