There is a tact behind complimenting strangers. Offering anything remotely resembling the way you have written in this thread is not that tact.
NinjaChick do you honestly feel that anyone who compliments someone is hitting on them? Or is it only if they compliment a physical feature?
Really? The quality of your life is changed by the passing comments of random strangers?
Well of course you’re not there for them to fantsize about or appreciate. It is most assuredly not the purpose of your existence. So what? Your existence is also not so sacrosanct that people are obliged to avert their eyes from you in public, so that you don’t feel oogy.
It seems *unbalanced *to you that some people notice the people around them, and find them attractive? Really? Allow me to assure you that plenty of normal, well-adjusted people find strangers attractive, and even decide to - gasp - speak to them. It’s how many normal, well-adjusted people meet.
There’s nothing wrong with not welcoming these exchanges if you’re uncomfortable with them. Ignore it, tell the guy to fuck off, whatever makes you happy. And please keep in mind that I’m talking about friendly exchanges here. Leering and the such should be met with the proper contempt. But even the leerers aren’t hurting you any.
I’m not trying to give you a hard time here, but I genuinely don’t understand why you’re so threatened by the idea of strangers talking to you, let alone simply noticing you and finding you aesthetically pleasing. Because to believe that someone would have to be *unbalanced *to tell you you’re pretty just makes me sad.
I’m from Spain.
Piropo:
Harassment:
Since you’re very much a gentleman, I’m reasonably sure that you wouldn’t say anything that would be in the EWWWWWWWWWWW side 
Last week I saw a mother walking down the street pushing one of those toddler’s “carts” (can’t think of the name right now, pram isn’t it, is it?). To each side, two girls, one about two years older than the other, pushing their dolls. I grinned at the mom and made a “take a pic” motion and she laughed yes.
So that’s another woman who doesn’t mind compliments from total strangers so long as they’re well done.
As a middleaged dude, fairly recently an attractive young man, but now resigned to being old, bald, wrinkled, gray-haired, bespectacled, and sometimes disheveled, I have to say I’ve noticed a HUGE difference between my acts of friendliness towards attractive women over the past few decades. What would constititute very restrained flirtation, and often be received in the same way, now (and for the last decade since I hit mid-40s) now mostly gets a DeNiroesque “You talkin’ to ME?” response. I’ve learned not to be so friendly, and that friendliness in a young goodlooking guy morphs into perviness in an older, not-so-goodlooking guy with zero changes in the guy’s behavior. Perviness is all in the eye of the beholder, I’m afraid.
I AM working on a poem on this subject, which I’ll share with anyone who wants to read it when I’m done. Actually, why don’t I post the first two stanzas–I’m envisioning six or seven at this point:
Time was, when all the thirty-something beauties
Whom I, a mid-forties man, would see
In pursuit of fun or of my duties,
Would meet my eye and smile back at me.
But now, past fifty, as I sip my lattes
And smile as was once permissible,
If not actively sought by passing hotties,
I find I have become invisible.
Actually, I can get away with that. In fact, I could deliver that with infinitely more success than any straight-to-the-point expression of appreciation of aesthetic beauty.
I’m certainly no ladies man, but I think the trick to not coming off as “creepy” is to not try NOT to come off as creepy. Because if you’re thinking “don’t be creepy” your entire interaction will be unnatural and its contrived nature will be obvious. The only sensible reaction is “There’s something not quite honest about this compliment that I’m getting.” And then you get a martini in your face.:smack:
I was getting an oil change for my car. One of the techs looks like he was about fifty and had lost a fight with a bottle. He had about half his teeth. He also had the most luminous blue eyes. I wanted to ask him to explain something about what he was doing so he’d keep talking to me so I’d have an excuse to stare at them. I don’t recall if I actually complimented him on them or not.
That’s what I thought of when the phrase “achingly beautiful” came up.
On reflection, I also remember a friend-of-a-friend I’d occasionally see at a cafe in Nashville. He was in his 20s, but looked about 15 and had a certain type of spectacular androgyny. He knew it, though, so that ruined the effect.
When the person is a “potential sex partner”, it’s not just an intellectual aesthetic response. If I saw those eyes mentioned above on a female, there probably would be some evaluation of sexual attractiveness as well, but it’s a separate process. I might find someone to be unattractive sexually but still find some individual feature or the total effect “achingly beautiful”.
I think the point of the thread is to find that just-right tone for “I find you beautiful but not because you’re attractive.”
I would be lying if I said I am literally on my feet clapping at this story, but inside I am. Too funny.
Low-level sexual gratification? I don’t know what bad stuff you are on but you should consider quitting. People can appreciate beauty without touching their balls.
And people is free to jerk off to you 24/7 or throw rotten tomatoes at your picture that they took without your permission. Get over it. You don’t own people’s minds. If it bothers you so much what other people might think of you, then don’t go out because there is no other way to stop them.
Yes, all the time. Don’t you see a pair of shoes on a store window and wish you had them and imagine yourself wearing them?
I am all the time evaluating and admiring the beautiful things around me. Not just pretty young women but also old women, little boys or girls, and even very elderly men with great wrinkles of experience on their faces (So sue me for being homophobic if I cannot properly admire the beauty of males 12-70 yo, that’s just the way I roll). Also of cars, furniture, plants, music, smells, plays of light on daily objects.
I am also not too shy about commenting on my thoughts about beauty. Luckily, I can get away with a lot. I am not particularly handsome or ugly, I am clearly past my physical prime and look very non-threatening for some strange reason, even if I am 6’2", 250 lbs with huge hands and feet. Dragging two adorable little kids helps, but the effect holds even on my own.
To the OP, the trick to compliments not being creepy is similar to how you know if you are a good driver: if other people need to react to you, you are not driving well.
Passing women on the street, you have the little time you normally devote to other strangers walking past you. That is normally a half second of eye contact. Time for a smile and that’s that.
Cashier at the supermarket: whatever you can say while she scans your purchase without stopping to listen to you.
Girl at a bar: whatever time her boyfriend is at the restroom (which is why real men don’t go to the restroom at a bar in a dating scenario 
)
Also, don’t comment on the obvious. Super hot chicks have probably heard of all variations on how hot they are. Say something about how they are dressed (that doesn’t sound gay) and you are golden.
And if your goal is to bring light to the darkness of the world, or however you said it, then choose people you know are not getting compliments all the time. I have an eye for detail and like to compliment people on them. Tell a girl who is clearly making an effort to conceal something about their body they don’t like that she has pretty eyes or smile and you will be making someone happy.
Tell a harried mom that her kids are adorable and well behaved. Give an honest “Have a nice day” (of the kind that doesn’t come out of a verbal rubber stamp) to someone who looks tired. Compliment a choice of book to someone wearing a pretty dress and comfort shoes on an elevator. The world is full of people needing a little pick-me-up, and they will appreciate it.
I understand fully the idea that you don’t have as one of your reasons for being (or for being in some place) that you want/expect/are looking for compliments. What I just can’t get my head around is why getting a compliment is therefore creepy to you, by virtue of the fact that that’s not your purpose in being at that moment?
I mean, I was walking down the street the other day, with the purpose of going shopping. Some random person stopped me and asked if I knew what time it was. Migawd, how utterly creepy of that person to just assume that that my purpose in being there was to tell him what time it was!
That sounds extremely silly, at least I hope it would to most people. There’s nothing socially unacceptable about asking someone for the time, even when it’s pretty clear that their “purpose” at that moment is not to serve as your personal timekeeper.
So why is giving someone a compliment so different? Ok, it’s not your purpose to be on display, or to serve as someone else’s visual pleasure, or whatever else. But why does your reaction therefore have to be so extremely negative? I can understand a response of being pleased at getting a compliment; I can understand a response of “yeah, whatever, I’m in a hurry”; I can understand a response of “next he’ll be hitting on me” and you’re not open to that. But being insulted or creeped out or all the other negatives that have been stated here? Those reactions I just don’t understand.
I’ve debated getting back into this conversation, because it seems like it’s just turned into a “you’re silly for feeling that way” to NinjaChick. I get some of what she’s saying, and might go into that more later, but for now I want to say what I find annoying about the OP.
He’s a 45 year old married man who loves Beauty. Hey, not just beauty but Beauty “with a capital B, in all its many shapes and guises.” Of course I think it’s with a capital B that rhymes with P but b stands for BULLSHIT.
He “aches” while looking at them and “longs” to tell them how beautiful they are and wants to know if girls mind that a man old enough to be their fathers tells them how damned beautiful they are. He specifically wants to know about girls 20ish years younger.
Wow, for all the many “shapes and guises” of Beauty that he’s so fond of, he’s awfully specific about the kind he aches about. And yes, he’s entitled to his preference of ladies. Ladies are entitled to think it’s creepy, or not.
This: "I wish to do it for two reasons. One, to give them a spark of cheer in this dank world we inhabit, as gazing upon their beauteous visage has given me. Two, to bask in their smiling beauty for an instant longer. " is vomitous. He even signs it “Beauty-lover” Jesus wept.
Beauty-lover is going to swoop in and save the day to give them that spark because I’m sure they’re miserable in this dank world. Let me tell you, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard some cheesy line, I’d have enough to buy a whole bunch of clues for some people.
In closing, it’s one thing to throw a “Wow, you’re really pretty.” to someone in passing. It’s quite something else if you’re attempting to write Shakespearean sonnets in your head to help with your ache. One implies a person who just compliments people when the mood strikes them, while the other brings mild-to-moderate revulsion that makes me ache and burn with the… ohhh, nevermind.
Well, you asked for women to reply, but as a mid 40s guy, who is stalling ending his lunch hour, I have to toss in my two cents. I’m not bad looking. I’ve actually had straight guys I’ve struck up conversations with on an airplane, or wherever, tell me I’m good looking or that I look like a young Clint Eastwood or something along those lines. On occasion, when I was traveling in my 30s and looking for some way to pass the time after dinner, sweet little old ladies would tell me to join a group of young women because they would enjoy my company. And yes, I always wore my wedding ring.
Only one time in my life have I ever been in a situation where I could legitimately tell a strange® woman she was beautiful without coming across as creepy or like I was hitting on her. Oddly, it was just a couple of days ago. It was a very unusual situation, not likely to ever be repeated. Don’t do it.
**Would it bother you if a man 20 years your senior stopped you to tell you how damn beautiful you are, if he wasn’t obviously drooling or trying to get your number? **
I love it when this happens. I love when het or gay dudes tell me I’m cute. I work hard to look pretty and that’s honestly part of the payoff, especially at my age. Like yesterday, a dude around 50 or so started talking to me. He started off telling me that I was cute and how he liked talking to pretty young women. He was very nice and not weird at all. We talked for like 10 minutes. (I was doing a second job as a security guard at a local store, so I was hardly dressed like a cute dame.)
I was flattered, but I did kind of want the guy to scram so I could watch the door and do my job. Nonetheless, I was happy that 1., He thought I was attractive; and 2., He thought I was 22. (I was actually thinking, “22, is he visually impaired or what, but hey, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”)
**Is it a drag or does it make your day? **
It WAY makes my day.
Threatening?
No, because if I had to I guess I could take care of myself.
Empowering?
Yes, absolutely. I feel good when others think I am attractive.
Or should I keep my observations to myself?
I think that if you have a compliment to give, go ahead and give it. Life is full of nasty, grim, unpleasant stuff. Compliments are few and far between. Honestly, I think that usually people can determine your intent by your tone and body language.
Happily married and 58. Look, I know there are times that you just want to express appreciation to be able to see a drop dead gorgeous woman. Just recently I walked up to a new teller at the bank and told her “I’m happily married but please forgive me for being unable to refrain from expressing how drop dead gorgeous you look.”
I got a big smile with a thankyou. Made my day.
Any compliment from someone that starts with those words would never feel creepy to me at any age. It’s the ‘happily’ part that changes the whole dynamic for me. I like the fact that they want me to know that they love their wife before saying anything else.
What’s funny is a 58 year old dude saying “I just wanna say you’re drop dead gorgeous!” to a 25 year old woman is creepy. But a 88 year old guy saying it is almost always ‘cute.’
As a male who used to be approached by women of all ages simply to compliment me, it is creepy even as 16-25yo male.
Eventually I was able to just say ‘thanks’ and then continue my journey, but if it was creepy for me, then I imagine it must be worse for young women.
Also, in high school I used to try to use a compliment as an introduction to a conversation, and even among girls my own age, when I was enough of a looker to be stopped for my own looks, I would creep them out with that sort of an intro.
A smile and a ‘Hi’ will always be the best- if you don’t want a conversation, leave it at that and go along your way.
It’s not like he actually said all that. He came here and asked if it was a good idea.
On the other hand, I totally see where you’re coming from. Man, that Beauty’s got some fabulous tits.
+1
When I was young, I was more threatened by random compliments from strangers because not all strangers leave it at that. I was also hostile to the wolf whistles (why do guys do that? ugh). I don’t think I regarded the attention as me having a place in their future masturbation plans (see low level sexual gratification), but I don’t think that way, anyway. When I was in my 20s, I was always leery of this passing interchange becoming a strange man following me etc. Now, I feel more confident and just take it as given (not that it happens all that often anymore). I know my daughter (19) is very threatened by random compliments/comments from strange men. I think it’s because we don’t know what to do with them or where it’s going to lead.
The best ones come from men who somehow convey that it’s just a passing remark and nothing is expected in return. If you can’t do that, don’t say anything.
Like when you’re hollering at them from a wire mesh paddy wagon. 
Well…
Yes. People are rarely complimented, even the very attractive. It does no one any harm to spread a bit of cheer now and then. A beautiful woman may like you to say so, but a nice comment on her brooch or her shoes will make her day as well, and won’t come off as creepy (unless you’re lunging for them).
Anyone comments on my ass or “rack” in public gets an ice glare, if not worse. Ugh.